Spider Jerusalem

Do I get a prize?

Bollocks. Do people really think that Michael Johnson would have kept us up and that we're doomed without him? Not bothered about signing Michael Johnson, but this transfer window has now closed with the squad in a more precarious position than when we went in, but with a bit more money in the bank. The last month and a half since Portsmouth has been one downward spiral. We have fuck all in the way of creativity - the match against the Mackems the only way we were going to score was going to be a penalty or a free kick. Our midfield has either Nicky Butt or Geremi as one of the first choice players for at least the next ten weeks. We've got very little up front at the moment and are pinning our hopes on one of the most erratic forwards in the league coming back and rescuing us. On top of that we've just sold our most senior player and best keeper to one of our rivals in the clarty end of the league. Also, our 10million pound star defender is going through a spell of utter dogshit form, with his personal errors and weakness costing dearly at the minute. This weekend we are going to play one of our rivals with an even weaker team that was put out yesterday, unless we get the erratic forward back in by then. Not looking too good at the minute in my book.

10 - That's it. Game over.

Just talking the usual wank.

Should have got the johnson thing agreed before agreeing to give Shay Given away to them. Stupid, stupid cunts. Looks like another disastrous transfer window.

To be honest. they've not made much noise in the past few years that they've came up here. You normally hear the away fans all the way up to Haymarket after a match has finished, but couldn't hear a peep out of them yesterday.

Zog needed to be sold that's without doubt, but we should have got more money for him. £8m plus Ryan Taylor would have been easier to swallow. This is a player who has pace, power, good shooting ability, and can cross. He'll do well at Wigan where he'll be first choice left wing. I'd disagree with this. He rarely finds people with his crosses and the last time he scored a goal from range was the Bolton game 18 months ago I think. He does get power and venom in his shots, but his accuracy isn't that great. He rarely finds people with his crosses because we usually only have owen in the box when the ball comes in. how many times does he look up,know theres only one player there and still hit it in,even worse when he knows theres no one there and he still plays it even when he has time.......that is deliberatly giving the ball away, the biggest sin in football. And that's if he manages to keep the cross on the correct side of the byline as well - the amount of times he's done the hard work and lashed a ball in that is more of a danger to the fans than the oppositions goal is incredible. This whole thing sounds like Bernard mark II - from "all the top clubs want me!" to "I am delighted to be joining the ultra ambitious Wigan / Southampton". Six million + a player is better than we could have hoped for in the circumstances.

He has scored the same amount from open play as Smith.

I haven't looked through the last eleven pages due to my flakey broadband at the moment but all I'm thinking is "If you want to leave, hand in a fucking transfer request instead of imploring the club to accept an offer so you can get your 'loyalty bonus' you little mercanary cunt!" The same applies to any of our other squad members doing the same at the minute. Cup Cake Dog brings tears to my eyes btw - surely that's some sort of animal abuse. The poor thing looks like it's in a trance. Still, it's a good Kinnear smiley though!

Not a player with the 'wow factor', but can we attract that sort of player at the minute. However, has to be a better transfer than Ferguson, and surely better a better option than Butt and Geremi. If he signs that is .

A midfield choice of Butt, Geremi and Smith for the forseeable future. Selling our best keeper to fund transfers that are starting to sound unlikely before the Mackem game, if at all. No recognised right fullback available and the left one Two one goal strikers available - one of which won't get on the field if it gets to a choice between him and Krul. Going for a nine here.

Got 34 points - still safe in 15th though! Above Spurs, Stoke, and the relegated trio of The Smogs, Portsmouth and Brom.

How the fuck can that happen - fuck around with two fixtures because the ref for one is injured, especially as Styles has had a bit of previous history with us in recent months.

Think he has no option but to splash some big money now as if we go down as a result of no investment then he'll loose a whole lot more if we are relegated. I would hope so, there is around £30 million unaccounted for from last years Sky money, as well as his promised £20million (not that I would take promises from him at face value) and the money still outstanding from the summers transfers (somewhere between 1.5 to 6.5 depending on whether we managed to fleece a rumoured transfer fee of £8million for Emre) . However, he may just look at this now as a no win situation and let the company go to the wall. Sky money and three years worth of season ticket money will make up a bulk of the cash he paid for us. Selling the first team squad could net him a bit more as most won't hang around in the lower leagues and hand in transfer requests. Of course that's the worst case scenario, but in the current econimic climate anything is possible.

Michael Owen.

Spending our way out of trouble? Glad to see that some people are optimistic enough to think that the club can get any money out of the man in charge. So far this tranfer window is looking almost like a replay of last year - being linked with a few names to sell papers (or make it look like Joe's doing something) and picking up kids 'for the future', only to find on February 1st these are the only players brought in.

With the "sell to buy policy", they might not even be here by the time they regain full fitness. Or may be the only three here.....

What price was that then Joe, as both of your serious offers were flat out rejected. Possibly made up (as well as your contract offer).

Ashley has us locked in the cellar without any food. Kinnear is the gimp he lets out of the box every so often to anally rape us. If this is actaully true then Nicky Butt must be jumping for joy.

Either way - if Given goes this month we'll have Harper / Forster for the remainder of the season, with Krul staying on loan and picking up experience. If Seamus decides to stay then next year we will will have Given / Krul / Forster next year. Hopefully. As much as I respect Harper's 'Matt Le Tissier ' loyalty if he hasn't got the number one shirt by then he really should be away as this is is last big deal in the game.

Dubious decision to employ a manager who would fuck off to Manure when Ferguson leaves and he was to recieve 'the call' wherever we were in the league.

Well done lads - sounds like you did what football should be about and have a good laugh with no comebacks (apart from Optimistcs hamsting). Was hopeful for the blues though (there's something about red that gets me and I don't know what it is (Manure, Liverpoo (Everton though (shudder))).

Christiano Ronaldo. All the skill on Earth but still has to dive and run into the opposition to try and get them booked or sent off. Loathsome.

Like Fuller? Didn't have an answer to a ten bob striker. To be fair to the lad, we've seen it before when defenders come into a team, or a league and look poor in the first season, so ,as long as we are still here next year, I am looking to next year to judge him. Unfortunately he's come into a team where the back four has just about picked itself due to the staff available and has had no respite since he came.

Passing seems to be a big problem for the lad at times. A few times yesterday he managed to do the hard part and robbed the opposition of the ball and then gave it away with an awful pass, even when an easy outlet was available. He does need a more experienced head above him to 'show him the ropes', and selling him now would be a mistake as he does have the basic fundamentals for his position, and if Wayne Bridge really is worth £12m....... He has joined a club as the one player in his posiiton without any real guidance that a young player requires.