Spider Jerusalem

'In my experience there's no such thing as luck' - Obi Wanky Knobby, 1977. 'There's just having the ability to influence referees from the sidelines though intimidatory techniques' - Spider Jerusalem, 2008. At least we don't have a big rock in the middle of the Eldon Square with an 'ancient curse' inscibed on it or there would be a bunch of slack jaws trying to burn it tomorrow.

Sounds like a real class act. Just wonder where '... and that's when I threw it back into the crowd.' appears in the book. And these are the people who our kids look up to earning tens of thousands of pounds a week :-[

I prefer my version.

Other - we keep selling the club to fat cunts.

I feel like sending in screenshots of me winning the treble with Newcastle on FM. Then fill out the rest of the resume saying I have mad skillz at Spanish. 'dos cervezas' - got me through in Spain for over a week without any problems.

I don't think there was a problem with Keegan's on field coaching and motivating. The conflict arose because KK wanted more say on transfer matters, and it's a fair point that he had little knowledge of emerging talent or the world transfer market. Deep down everyone knows that. Isn't that what scouts are for? Seems like, as usual on here, there's black and white and nothing in the middle. a) Keegan has players signed for him and likes it or b) Keegan has to have an in-depth knowledge of every player in the world and spend his spare days jetting off to watch a Bolivian second division game. Can't I have c) he's a normal manager who has scouts like every other manager in the world (apart from these really successful continental ones who keep getting their arses handed to them by English clubs with English systems)? For c) Keegan would have to be happy with what his scouts were reporting and recommending. If that was the case why would there have been a problem in the first place? Keegan wanted players from his own list to be bought, and i doubt they included Xisco, Jonas, Nacho whats-is-face etc. That's not what Keegan said, is it? He said he didn't want players forced on him ie he'd had no input into their signing I made the point earlier, would he have walked had Wise gave him Robinho instead of Xisco on Deadline Day? But Milner's sale didn't bring in 37 million so that isn't really debateable

The most likely is Denisi Wixero - a short-arsed hot headed 'Catalan' whose eyes are far to close togther and can't get a cab home late at weekends for love nor money.

Climb up? Best get on the blower to Feinnes. Or Spiderman... He might get fired for that. Or resign on the 18th.

Spitting in Rudi Voller's ear? That ear must be filled to the brim with saliva Overflowing I've heard - he's been doing it for the past eighteen years. You know how you hear about the tremendous skills of the man, or how Maradonna won the World Cup for Argentina, or Zidane was the greatest footballer of his generation. For me the defining moment's of these men's careers will be hockling on someones ear, punching the ball in the back of the net and going mental in his last ever match and headbutting an Italian. I think I'm somewhat cynical.

And who told them that. A club insider? Load of shit. Even if it was true, at least it's better than having your spending in the black over three transfer windows, while the Sky money from last year has no discernable home.

Lazio fans turned their back's on the game in digust. So did we once..........

Skinny Anal? Oh no, I've soured the whole deal. Noooooooooooo!

Spitting in Rudi Voller's ear?

Don't give a flying fuck to be honest - this club has had it's heart ripped out over the past few years by a succession of piss poor appointments at the top and then by being sold to the nearest shyster willing to meet Sir John's valuation of his 'beloved' club.

Or how about a march into St James and then out when the whistle goes for kick off.

Don't forget the 80 million in debt that has been 'cleared'.

Amongst the talk of Alcohol I have made a free transfer of Isle of Jura into my Jameson's glass - hopefully it will take away the boredom of this last transfer day or my chronic hip pain.

I don't see why not. Dunno why everyone thinks we'll be just sat there doing nowt. Cos it looks like they've sat for the last two months mostly doing nowt?

It's oh so quiet..... shhhh....... Not just on buying anyone else but bringing in Xisco. Getting bored now.

That one made me swear at the telly.

Hell of a way to make an entrance though - buy the club and on the same day make a move to hijack your local rivals number one transfer target. This is just another nail in the coffin of football though. Another Chelsea where money is no object. The rest competeing for scraps thrown from the table.

Ameobi and Smith OUT! Never would two transfers out of a club have actually strengthened a squad. Bye lads. Go and drain some other clubs wages.

Not good at the minute, even with four of five new faces in we are still struggling for real depth of quality - i.e. Smith, Geremi, Cacapa, Ameobi, The Lesser Spotted Viduka.

The only player I've spent a game shouting at non-stop was Stephen Carr and have to admit it made him perform no better. It made him perform no worse either though. Well that's because that's a physical impossibility. Get annoyed at him, question his loyalty...hypocrite But he has every right to get annoyed, I am disloyal and also a hypocrite as well. It's what makes me so lovable.

The only player I've spent a game shouting at non-stop was Stephen Carr and have to admit it made him perform no better. It made him perform no worse either though.