SEMTEX

I can confirm, before his pre-photo change of clothes in the bogs, Andros Townsend was wearing: a brown suit jacket "man jeggings" a spotted hanky in his top pocket winkle picker shoes This concludes my ITK.

I will get back to you with knowledge about what he was actually wearing

I have vital in-the-know to share. I can confirm townsend was wearing different clothes on the plane. He must've changed in the bogs.

We should force people to come to Newcastle via the train. It's so much more impressive than arriving at that mickey mouse airport, especially as it's plastered with mackem adverts, and a NUFC advert with about 10 players we've sold on.

aye but hes got like 20 international caps

or when people kick the ball at the goal

hes been class for northern ireland

would prefer we gave him a shot over townsend like

This. Don't mean to be harsh Ian but you've got your head in the clouds on this one. Just don't think they get any positive spin out of failing to sign people. I don't know, neither do you two (or Ronaldo) but I just can't see why they would bother with this. I've said I believe they might do things like lower the price late in the deal, or not spend as much as the manager wants etc. I just don't think it's part of some sort of masterplan to delude the public. Anyway, who knows? It just seems a very obscure way to get good publicity. Every single window, same thing happens, every single window, fans lap up the 'we tried' shite man. "nee value", "player too expensive", "mercenary wants too much money", "do a leeds" It's still fucking happening. And if they are telling the truth? It's one thing lying, it's another being a tight cunt. Neither are relevant in the last two windows. We have spent but it's too little too late IMO. Anytime we bid for someone, some nonce peeps up with "we tried, chortle chortle." It's boring nonsense. It's somewhere in between lying and being a tight cunt. Both are still relevant. It's not as straightforward as "we wont spend money". We'll spend, but only when terms are unlikely to be accepted as they'll always be very much financially beneficial to ourselves (with potential future value of a player being defined by the Carr/McClaren/Charnley brain trust). We'll make offers that are derisory, and we'll stretch out negotiations with very little movement, and then say we tried when we fail to sign those players. I don't see how it's nonsense at all.

This. Don't mean to be harsh Ian but you've got your head in the clouds on this one. Just don't think they get any positive spin out of failing to sign people. I don't know, neither do you two (or Ronaldo) but I just can't see why they would bother with this. I've said I believe they might do things like lower the price late in the deal, or not spend as much as the manager wants etc. I just don't think it's part of some sort of masterplan to delude the public. Anyway, who knows? It just seems a very obscure way to get good publicity. Every single window, same thing happens, every single window, fans lap up the 'we tried' shite man. "nee value", "player too expensive", "mercenary wants too much money", "do a leeds" It's still fucking happening.

but none of this is really correct though, maybe the experience bit but certainly not the goals True for Tottenham, but good record for England 3 in 10 games, I'll take that for a left winger. You not think his record playing in the Premier League for a Premier League club is a little more representative of his ability to play for Newcastle, a Premier League club in the Premier League? Or are we lobbing that out of the window and just going with his 3 goals against San Marino, Montenegro and Italy (friendly) as a better sample? How many goals have we gotten from Thauvin, Aarons, Obertan, etc, etc who we've played in that spot, the best has been Perez, who's a bloody striker playing out of position. He's been underused in the extreme at Spuds (why I don't know), he's played only 50 games for them ffs, he's 24 and been there since he was 8! Despite that gets a call up to play for England and impresses and scores goals. I more inclined to believe in him right now the current incumbents, considering who are manager is he's got a better chance of succeeding than Thauvin, Aarons etc will. All fairly irrelevant to what you posted before. I didn't say anything about other players and his ability in comparison. Your post was "I know he's been s*** in the premier league, but he scored 3 for England so I'll take that!!!" My post was "We play in the premier league, so perhaps we pay attention to his PL performances rather than his performances vs San Marino" Love the way you try to spin it so that it makes him sound crap because he scored against San Marino. He came on in that game as a 66th minute sub, and scored 10 mins or so later. His other games were against Montenegro and Poland in World cup Qualifiers. Solvenia, Estonia and Lithuania, the rest of his games were friendlies against Germany, Chile, Italy and Denmark. Considering he's only made 4 starts, the rest have been 60- 70 mins sub appearance the goal scoring record for England is even better. Going back to your original point, there is such a limited sample size to accurately gauge his PL record, but if you are getting picked for England and playing pretty well when you play, you are doing something right, surely ?? FFS this is why I don't post on here very often anymore, people just seem to wait for others to make a point and try to rip it apart, to get a few laughs. Well hope I made your day, I don't have time in my life to fully research every post I make, just thought I would pop on here and say I liked the signing, shouldn't have bothered. Will know better in future. he might be fucking class, I doubt it, but who knows. You're most welcome to like the signing. I was simply pointing out, he has played 50 games in the PL, which is the league we play in, but you've chosen to discount them and only pay attention to his 10 games playing International football. But aye, you've got it right, just doing it for cheap laughs. Nowt to do with your massively flawed logic. And no, I do not believe him getting called up to the prestigious England squad is a sign that he's actually a good player. See: 90% of the shit that gets called up nowadays.

but none of this is really correct though, maybe the experience bit but certainly not the goals True for Tottenham, but good record for England 3 in 10 games, I'll take that for a left winger. You not think his record playing in the Premier League for a Premier League club is a little more representative of his ability to play for Newcastle, a Premier League club in the Premier League? Or are we lobbing that out of the window and just going with his 3 goals against San Marino, Montenegro and Italy (friendly) as a better sample? How many goals have we gotten from Thauvin, Aarons, Obertan, etc, etc who we've played in that spot, the best has been Perez, who's a bloody striker playing out of position. He's been underused in the extreme at Spuds (why I don't know), he's played only 50 games for them ffs, he's 24 and been there since he was 8! Despite that gets a call up to play for England and impresses and scores goals. I more inclined to believe in him right now the current incumbents, considering who are manager is he's got a better chance of succeeding than Thauvin, Aarons etc will. All fairly irrelevant to what you posted before. I didn't say anything about other players and his ability in comparison. Your post was "I know he's been shit in the premier league, but he scored 3 for England so I'll take that!!!" My post was "We play in the premier league, so perhaps we pay attention to his PL performances rather than his performances vs San Marino"

but none of this is really correct though, maybe the experience bit but certainly not the goals True for Tottenham, but good record for England 3 in 10 games, I'll take that for a left winger. You not think his record playing in the Premier League for a Premier League club is a little more representative of his ability to play for Newcastle, a Premier League club in the Premier League? Or are we lobbing that out of the window and just going with his 3 goals against San Marino, Montenegro and Italy (friendly) as a better sample? Baffling stuff really, he's 24 and done precisely nothing in the PL. That's the bare fact of the matter really. I don't really give a shit either way about this one personally. I'd prefer lots of other players, but he's definitely better than gouffran/obertan, and we do need depth. I'm just not going to pretend that he's going to be this impact player banging in goals for fun, on the basis of him having scored two competitive goals against pony nations.

but none of this is really correct though, maybe the experience bit but certainly not the goals True for Tottenham, but good record for England 3 in 10 games, I'll take that for a left winger. You not think his record playing in the Premier League for a Premier League club is a little more representative of his ability to play for Newcastle, a Premier League club in the Premier League? Or are we lobbing that out of the window and just going with his 3 goals against San Marino, Montenegro and Italy (friendly) as a better sample?

I really wish these fellas were still on Sky tbh. The whole debacle of them getting fired has lead to a world in which we have to hear Richard Keys' opinions. That's just not a world I want to live in. When he worked for Sky, he was the neutral, say-nothing-of-worth presenter that I never gave a second thought to. Now he's all over the shop giving his manly bloke opinions, and consequently adding to my hatred for the human race.

has a stupid mouth 3/7 wsb

yup. Absolutely nowt new. Doing the bare minimum and hoping to avoid relegation, pretending we're trying to sign strikers/making woeful bids, and if one of them happens to make it through, offer them a pittance, with the caveat that we'll absolutely sell them to anyone who bids in 6 months time. Hope we go down. Maybe then someone will break into Ashley's house and do us all a favour. Ideally in a way that makes it look like a stranglewank gone wrong.

Spurs 3-1 chaddaz

Alli. Fucking heck.

Don't need a plan b. Plan A is going swimmingly. Stretch out vague interest in a couple of players, make derisory bid, bid rejected, window closes, say we tried.

With good reason. The league has been shit for a decade man. Even when we've had exciting finishes, the whole thing has still been run by the same old fuckers, or the new wealth of a team backed by some repulsive middle eastern prince. BURN IT ALL DOWN. All the clubs, the competitions, the owners, the players, the fans. Kill them all and start again fresh.

You'd prefer your champ to be a team that can batter watford but can't beat Liverpool? I'd prefer my champ to be the team that gets the most points over the course of a season, against all teams i.e. the way it currently is, rather than a team who can't break down the smaller teams consistently but can frustrate and defend well against better teams and hope to bring it to penalties or nick a goal from a set piece in a one off game Yeah okay but we've already established that the "frustrate and nick a goal" tactic has worked about twice in the last 1000 years in the cup competitions.

You'd prefer your champ to be a team that can batter watford but can't beat Liverpool?

How so? Those managers don't do well in the cups as it is right now. They'd only have to play against the big teams in the playoffs, there wouldn't be any need to attack or try to create something such as there would be if they played a smaller team What about in the CL or any competition for that matter? When Barca, Bayern or Real play a lesser team who defends and plays that style, they usually win. The best team always wins no matter what. That's just how it is. They are so much better than the other teams that it doesn't matter. It isn't fair that a team like Liverpool who rely on hard running and counter attacking with not much quality or flair beat Arsenal in a one-off game, having finished 20 points behind them and then they win the league See, I don't know what you mean by fair. The team that wins the playoffs is the best team. Now I can't go with that. They're the best team on that day. The one that matches up the best / is in the best form etc. They're not necessarily the best team over the year.

There is a distinct possibility that certain sides would attempt to use those tactics, but there is no evidence to say that it's by any means a flawless tactic, and thus I believe your concerns to be unfounded.