Memphis

And what does Jonas have to do not to get one?

Interested to hear Pardew's comments before the match, I assume he'll speak with Sky shortly. Get those excuses in early

Rumour has it decay has weakened the doors so a bid of 15m can blow them off. They were rated as 30m strong just a month ago.

The Fellaini part really is derisory though. Bidding 16m for him when that's essentially what Everton paid w/ add-ons 5 years ago is insulting. He's certainly much more of a proven commodity in the Premier League and has increased his value. Especially derisory since Moyes is the one making the offer and knows all this intimately.

Oh, that's lucky. Phew, really dodged a bullet there.

10m = derisory 11m = laughable 12m = farcical 13m = foolish 14m = daft 15m = embarrassing 16m = nauseating 17m = ludicrous 18m = shameful 19m = SOLD!

I think you'll agree the addition of our esteemed Director of Football has changed a few things.

It all depends on Cabaye. If his head has been well and truly turned then it will show in his performance tonight (or his non-performance if he doesn't start). All of us know he will be sold should Arsenal or anyone else hit the magic number, whatever that might be. Anyone who thinks we'll be better off selling him even at an exorbitant price needs their head examined. We have no plan in place tactically on the pitch and no plan in place for transfer activity off it. We will not get a player in of his quality, I can assure you. I question whether or not we have the wherewithal as an organization to even complete the paperwork/negotiation necessary for a transfer involving a player from another country. I start thinking about Thauvin et al then realize it's Kinnear on the phone and I get very sad.

Yeah the app is consistently shit. I tried to just get the site itself to load in my browser on the tablet but it didn't work. Hopefully they get loads of abuse and they fix the fucking thing. I've sent them a email and reported it on the Play Store several times. Seems to be a longstanding issue, but maybe they'll get a huge amount of abuse after this weekend and shape it up. The studio team is great. The quality of the coverage and the stream is miles above Fox. I was skeptical but they have been fantastic thus far, totally professional and well presented. Looking forward to seeing Swansea/Man Utd to see how their native commentary team and production looks and sounds.

Although they're justified in doing so, I was genuinely shocked at the fury vented at Wenger after Luna's goal went in. And Villa look much much much better than last season. A genuine threat on the counter time and time again, with pace and class up front. Dodgy at the back but that was in impressive away performance.

Very much enjoying their coverage so far. My only complaint is the NBC Sports Extra app for Android crashes every time i load it on my Galaxy S4. But on my laptop, it's great. Streamed Arsenal/Villa and mackems/Fulham side by side and had not a single hitch.

We will set up for this match as if we were Accrington Stanley against them in the FA Cup 4-4-2 with Shola and Cisse up front may as well be a 4-4-1. After all, we're apparently just tiny minnows just hoping to make it respectable against a juggernaut. Fully expect a scrappy affair for 20-30 min, then a goal for them which opens the floodgates. Would at least like us to have a go but I know we can't do that against a sovereign state. Just proud we can even share a pitch with the likes of them for 90 min tbh.

I enjoyed this excerpt from a book on David Moyes revealing some of the behind-the-scenes details of Everton's scouting/transfer system, such as it was under him: http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/scouting-system-that-reveals-david-moyes-mind-8756011.html Wonder what our transfer room looks like?

First half: crap Second half: eh, OK Exciting supporters for another bang-up PL season: no Worrying supporters about team selection: yes Possible Jonas injury: yes Threat up front: none Movement off the ball: little Goalscoring opportunities: few Penalty conceded: yup, again Pointless passing: lots Readiness for the new campaign: seemingly little

Add to that list: Jonas dribbles, stops, holds his hands out as if there is no passing option available, sweeps ball to middle dismissively

Wow - a second goal from a corner wrongly disallowed for offside.

Gotten a bit ragged with all the subs but yes, overall much better. Decent link play, some actual running off the ball, not too bad actually. Scored from a corner. That alone is worth something.

Yanga-Mbiwa's been good w/ Colo - but Braga represent such a different threat than a garden-variety PL team. Dummett does look a prospect although his inexperience is quite clear at times when defending. Certainly more encouraging looking stuff in the second half, anyway. First half was coma-inducing.

Friendly - yellow Actual match - easy red Yikes, that was just awful.

With this group we look like a shit version of Rodgers' Swansea from two seasons ago. Tons of fart, absolutely no shit. Perhaps with Marveaux, Anita, and Remy in for Jonas, Shola, and Tiote we'd carry some threat up front.

Debuchy clipped his foot - pretty clear on the replay. Think he was diving anyway but there was contact.

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,92084.775.html Love the forum when a wonder goal happens.

New thread title: "Fee around £8m agreed with Lyon for Bafétimbi Gomis and wages seem to also be agreed upon by NUFC and Gomis but according to Lyon's lunatic chairman and NUFC's senile DoF another club is interfering, believed by Lee Ryder (of all people) to be Marseille, with Gomis' agent(s), who appear to be many and quite greedy"

That goal he scored against Wigan last season... Was still irritated at him for the way he dicked around in January but that was an absolute beauty. Think he's an absolutely essential signing.

That was like watching a dog who learned to juggle.