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Unsurprisingly, despite all the attacking movement we've put together so far, Michael Owen still finds a way to be invisible.

This Shawky lad is just about the worst player ever isn't he

jesus christ how shit ar eBoro. We're dominating their central midfield. I can't believe this I just said that.

Come on Nicky thanks for the tackles but please stop trying to pretend you're Xabi

TAYLOR! YES! Our most clinical finisher

I suppose this is how teams get relegated.

fucking hell this is going to be fucking impossible. Why the fuck did that have to happen today.

I give up on life

sweet baby jesus. win please.

fucking shit I'm really hungry but I can't eat because I feel like I'll throw up.

Gooch throws them harder, but he can't make them fly on a low arc at wicked speed like Delap can. Onyewu's long throws are pretty much just corner kicks. (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just not as impressive as Delap)

The way our luck is going atm, a Boro CB brings down Martins in the box, the referee would probably give them a penalty. even if we got a pen there is no-one in our team i would be confident in stepping up and taking it. Strangely enough if Ameobi was playing I'd be more confident in him scoring it then any of the rest Then again Viduka is surely good at pens?? Nolan's pretty good at taking pens... ...just saying

Well yeah, I just mean it's been bloody ages since we scored from a speculative smash at goal. Cant actually remember the last goal scored by us from distance It was probably Emre against Reading 2006/2007. I kid you not. Can we get them to dress in Black and White stripes and then play Ryan Taylor?

Have UEFA institute a continent-wide salary cap. There are a lot of crappy rules in American sports but this is one part where they got it right. It would be kind of funny if the result is that all the good players will just move to the middle east.

Lupoli Wannabe Maradona in the making I see

I remember when Neil Mellor was supposed to be the next Michael Owen. Not much difference between them now. I know he's not our player but you shouldn't insult Neil Mellor like that

I've always wondered, would it be such a bad idea to give the UEFA cup winners a spot in the Champions League the following season? They are "champions" after all and it seems like a better way of giving the competition some meaning than some funky name change.

Steven Taylor back could make a huge difference. Shit defender, but he's probably more likely to score a goal than any of our forwards are.

Nah, it was actually a lot worse. Heskey started going down five yards outside of the box and then slowly dragged himself inside for what felt like about five seconds.

Load of hogwash that article. No way Jonas plays in the Championship, period. Same for Bassong and Enrique. I'm relatively sure Steven Taylor would leave as well if someone hands him a sizable contract and whispers in his ear that he could make the England squad if he plays consistently in the Premiership next season. The reality is going down to the Championship will leave us with the absolute worst of the current squad (Ameobi, Butt, Duff, Smith, Geremi) along with the reserves. There will be a whole lot of holes where bodies will have to come in and limited funds to fill them. Barring some skillful wheeling and dealing in the market (and when's the last time we've ever done that ) we'd not only fail to come back up but potential disaster could be right around the corner.

You know what, aside from us going down this has probably been the most entertaining year of football in a long, long while.

I'd be shocked if you ever saw that ref again. I'd probably be furious if I were a Chelsea fan. As mentioned, he's already ready for the 2010 WC. A couple of Abramovich's "buddies" might be ready to have a word with him on his way to the airport...

I can sympathize with Drogba though. I'm happy Barca are going through but what the fuck does Chelsea have to do to get a penalty. Most of those calls weren't even borderline, they were blatantly obvious pens.

Chelsea could have had what, a hat-trick of penalties? What a joke. Not that I mind of course And the one time the ref actually did give them something (the red card) he was wrong!

shame this probably just means another trophy for Man United.