oldtype

Playoff finals next season Johnsons Pain Trophy in a few years more like. I think it's far more likely that we'll make the top six of the Championship next season than ever get to the finals of any sort of knockout competition.

No chance, we've got no-one to play on the wings either

The Enrique injury has convinced me that a higher power wants to see us suffer and there's quite simply nothing anyone can do about it.

Playoff finals next season

Some rich bloke from Dubai instead of Mike Ashley

Jose and Lovenkrands already injured... Predictably, Shearer coming in has somehow ended up coinciding with a whole new round of injury crises.

I'd throw in Edgar ahead of Coloccini. Yes, I'd rather play mr. "I'm probably going to be released at the end of my contract" over our club record defensive signing

Hope we can pull off a draw.

Evra Based on this season? The only name that came to mind. We live in a time with very few good left backs.

Buffon Ramos Vidic Ferdinand Evra Essien Xavi Messi Gerrard Ronaldo Eto'o

Uh, Guthrie's fine. Really? Hallelujah

Besides, we're writing off Nolan way too quickly. People didn't have much bad to say about him before his suspension, and two of his three post-suspension matches have been against Arsenal and Chelsea. I suspect he still has an important role to play in our run-in, particularly with Guthrie out.

One more year of wear and tear on those old bones sapped out whatever juice Viduka or Geremi had left. They're both finished. Geremi in particular: it staggers me when I hear anyone suggest he be included in the team. There are Nicky Butt levels of unfitness, and then there are 06-07 Steven Carr levels of unfitness. Every time I've seen him this season he's been perilously close to the latter.

The last transfer window doesn't even touch Boumsong/Babayaro/Faye. Not only were all three complete and utter shit, but arguably the repercussions of their signings resonate with the club even today.

It's not even his name, it's his nickname. Is this a football match or a stag do? "Hulk, passes it to 'Beer Monster, who in turn lays it onto 'Shagger'..." Shame brazillians are the only ones allowed to have nicknames. I want Nile to play with "STR88888888888888" on his back.

What a fantastic fuck up that was

Alvez will still be a donkey. Don't worry. Thing is though I had written off Bolton and Fulham last year and they both went on stupidly good winning streaks around this point of the season. I cant see West Brom coming back but Boro still have a chance. It's our turn to go on a "stupidly good winning streak" hopefully. What's this "win" thing you speak about good sir? It's another one of those things we used to do under the old board apparently.

Alvez will still be a donkey. Don't worry. Thing is though I had written off Bolton and Fulham last year and they both went on stupidly good winning streaks around this point of the season. I cant see West Brom coming back but Boro still have a chance. It's our turn to go on a "stupidly good winning streak" hopefully.

Hulk actually does look like... well.. Hulk. Would love it for us to sign him

Imagine having someone who can actually run in midfield, the mind boggles. we have the makings of a decent team, with 2 new cms a striker a winger and a centrehalf we'd be able to challenge for the top half witha good manager in charge we'd need to spend about 25m though. I think with decent coaching colo will come good but that remains to be seen Harper Beye Bassong New Jose New Barton New Jonas Oba New It highly annoys me that Keegan managed to pull the plug on Wise's Skjelbred travel, but not on Nacho's. Imagine if it'd been the other way around, f*** me we'd have someone never stopping to run, going forward, able to string passes together and not have a phobia from shooting from long range. At the very least, we'd have a lad who'd actually be playing as opposed to curled up on the physio room. Speaking of, wasn't Nacho supposed to be back like... A month ago?

Newcastle United: where players come to break bones and strain muscles that they didn't even know they had

Rather Butt in the team than Nolan based on recent performances. Butt usually puts in a good shift when he's had a two-week break. Then after that it's back to his lovable knackered self. He WILL cost us points on Saturday. I guarantee it.

God will never allow us to take Nicky Butt out of the first team. Ever.

Deserves manager of the year award for keeping Stoke up as far as I'm concerned I mean, Jesus, look at that team sheet.

There's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time. So amazing last season, hope he doesn't go the way of Damien Duff... Actually, considering how much I like City now, I hope he does.