bobbydazzla

This is like coming home from work to hear your wife and her gym instructor lifting heavy weights in your bedroom with the door locked

We’ve shrewdly bought a blend of PL proven players and gems from other leagues And it’s worked, we’ve built a squad that’s much greater than the sum of its parts, won a cup, CL twice in 3 years I’d say our transfer policy is excellent, given the financial restrictions imposed on us This “Howe only wants to buy PL” is a lazy cliche And base any assumptions on what we’ve actually done, not what journos are claiming we’re trying to do, because what journos spread about transfer activity is mostly lies

Isak, Tonali, Botman, Bruno ?

Why do you believe we don’t have a collaborative approach ? I think there’s very few people who have genuine insight into how our transfers are handled The main person who’s spoken about it publicly is Mitchell and the consensus is that he’s a self serving gobshite

He’s obviously the one that NUFC believe ticks the most boxes in terms of availability, position, price, willingness to join, good attitude, fit with squad and technical ability We’re clearly incredibly selective and prefer quality over quantity and since the takeover we’ve got an excellent success rate so I think they know what they’re doing

And if the club doesn’t want to sell or the player doesn’t want to join or other clubs more attractive than NUFC want to sign the player ? Signing footballers isn’t like a brothel where you just walk in, pay the money, choose who you fancy and then do the nasty. Which is what I’ve heard happens in brothels

I don’t want Wissa I want a world class forward from the continent who’s 21 and proven at the top level and for sale and we can agree a price and he’s not expensive and we can incorporate his wages into our structure and he wants to play for Newcastle and he’ll fit into our squad and he has an XG that’ll make me spunk my y-fronts and he’s not going to AFCON and he isn’t wanted by Chelsea or Liverpool and he isn’t a South American of African with a bad diet who’ll basically be a lump of lard when he’s 30 Thats not too much to ask is it ?

They should have just kept it as a porn repository like it was in the 90’s As soon as it was used for other purposes, shit got fucked up

We need to start tracking players career stats from the moment of conception when his dar blars his beans Otherwise, what’s the point ?

Yogan Wissa, namaste

I’ve definitely been black balled by NUFC like

That Wissa seeks you out and kicks your arse for being so ridiculously ageist and making sweeping negative generalisations about players from Africa

You’re off your lips pal

🚨I’ve always thought he was a cunt🚨

We go burnt by Targett Played solidly on loan here, then gets a permanent deal on £900,000 a week wages but has hardly played because of his eczema flare ups

Yo Wissa’s bald and I like it, Hope my boyfriend don’t mind it

Areet Nurse Ratched, you can’t just stroll into the lunatic asylum and expect the resident inpatients to understand common sense and logic

Heeeeeeyyyy DJ Otzi Ooh Ahh I wannaaaa knowwwww Why you won’t fuck off

Yeah, if Wissa was a little bit taller If Wissa was a baller If Wissa had a girl who looked good, I would call her If Wissa had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four Impala

Yoane Wissa is a star With him up front we will go far Yoane Wissa is our star Our dreams came true

Levy, Levy, Levy, Levvvvvy I'm begging of you, please don't take Yoane Levy, Levy, Levy, Levvvvvy Please don't take him just because you can

How dare you say that about the love of my life

How much we reckon Spurs will get him for ? I'm going with £38m

We got journo's co-ordinating their Twatter posts again ? Sounds like a tactic to prompt Spurs into action. "Alright me old journo mates it's Agent Sleazeball here, you know the drill, just mention NUFC have bid and let's see what happens next (taps nose and gives a knowing wink)"

That offer for Wissa is worse than when I DM'd Michelle Collins and offered her a no jarmy sleepover round mine and said I'd pay £25 towards her train fare to Newcastle