bobbydazzla

In my opinion we should only be buying players that will help us avoid relegation. Fuck everything else right now as it's a waste of resources (time, people and money) during a short and difficult window. If we don't get relegated then we can enjoy having some wealth and chasing the most exciting prospects in Europe in the summer and beyond.

If Burnley or Norwich or Watford were looking to spend £30m on an unproven player that couldn't play for them this season we would be pissing in our knickers laughing at their stupidity. No point blowing our beans buying European kids for the future, when currently our trajectory means a future in the 2nd tier. We need people who can contribute right now, otherwise we're gannin doon.

Reims are on the glue

And some basic football skills wouldn't go amiss, most of our squad struggle just to control a ball.

Watching that jumble sale collection of misfits and doylems once again fail to get the basics right and show no fight or heart was what fucked me off the most. Going out of the cup isn't a big concern given that we don't need any distractions beyond the relegation battle. Being beaten by League 1 opposition isn't particularly embarrassing, our shower of shite are a mid table championship squad at best so the gap isn't that big in reality. But the manner of the defeat is what gets on my tits. These players can't do the simple stuff properly and they've got no will to win. They're infuriating to watch.

"I've had a word with PIF and we've agreed we're going throw everything at signing a keeper, a left back, 2 x centre half, 4 x midfielder and a couple of strikers. That's our minimum requirement. We've got plenty of money to spend. So I've got to keep this chat quick, I've got agents to call Toodle pip"

Do 15 stepovers, a pirouette, try to take on 4 defenders, ignore your wide open team mate, then give the ball away. Repeat ad nauseam.

He does my head in, I find him so frustrating to watch. So much of the fancy shit he tries achieves nothing, he plays more for himself than the team and his decision making is appalling.

For the people saying "but we need to address position X as a priority" I think it's safe to say the key people at the club know exactly what we need to sign and are trying to deliver that. We're just too conditioned to Sports Direct FC and the cunts in charge randomly grabbing some turds out of the bowl from time to time whilst the fans scream in frustration. I've got faith in the new leadership. They know what we require to improve the team and are currently balls deep, pumping like a jackhammer and trying to bring us all to a collective climax.

If he joins he'll do that South American thing of having his nickname on the back of his shirt and it'll be RADGEPACKET

FTFY

Howay man lads, Trippier's just landed in Newcastle on the private jet and there wasn't a single plane pervert in here giving minute by minute Flight Radar updates on his journey. Simply not good enough.

The private jet from Madrid just flew over NE29

What sport is it they’re playing ?

Seen some lass was chatting away on her phone, probably ringing all her pals to say what an amazing time she's having watching that cunt Ronaldo

Sweet little megsy then a backheel finish. Wew. Love that.

They could relocate Leazes Terrace to where the Arena is now

Would you prefer he adopted a local accent like Shteeve did at Twente ?

We do this all the time when people ring up and try and flog us shite at work, if they won’t take no for an answer we just bounce them around until they get bored and piss off. If they’ve got something we’re interested in then they get to speak to the right person straight away. Agents know we have money and need to make signings so I bet they’re being even worse persistent pushy twats than usual.

He couldn’t get on board with their vision not to offer him a job

I also know Sam and agree with what Rocker says. He grew up in Shields in a working class geordie family, he might play up the accent at times but it’s not fake.

I just walked past when I took the mutt for his bedtime turd. Amanda’s drinking Cristal in the VIP section, Sam Fender’s on the karaoke, Patrick Topping’s DJing in the back room and Sean Longstaff is stood on the bar doing keepy uppies with a Terrys chocolate orange. Quiet night in NE29.

Spends too much time remonstrating with himself after his run or shot comes to nowt. Needs to stop that shit and get straight back into a defending mindset rather than theatrically waving his arms about and shaking his head in frustration that he failed to score a worldie, again.

Taggart still stalking the corridors of that club tapping on his watch and sticking his whisky ravaged sneck into every decision they make. A constant reminder to everyone of the glory days and how far they have fallen behind since then. That’s my kind of Fergie Time. Long may it continue.

Careful now, the John Spence Alumni Society will be on your case