Ketsbaia

Also, because he loves to sprint, it's sound advice. Don't Look Back Elanga, just run all day.

Assuming there's already multiple 'Dont Look Back, Elanga' suggestions?

As if it's an obvious answer

Still don't get the Gibbs-White hype. I know it's fun to hype certain English or PL players, but do he and Kudus particularly improve Spurs?

Not overly worried by Kudus to Spurs tbf. Seems to have a poor attitude + he'll not raise their ceiling in attack - there's already quite a few good names in those positions.

They've upgraded from "could break Derby's record" to "well 19th still goes down"

Now Adingra, right there is a good signing.

Internet creaming itself because they beat LAFC, a Tunisian side, 10-man Benfica, Palmeiras and an old folks home.

Quite the achievement, beating some part-timers and pensioners on the way to a final

Hope: Do all of my answers put in quick questions? Yes. Should they? Probably not. Why keep doing it? No idea. Do I know how to stop? Unlikely. Can you help me?

Was hoping for £15m ish but it's a 6th-choice midfielder whose contract ends next year. Improves Leeds' chances of staying up, too.

Albert Ornstein with another one

Wooof, an actual proper signing. It's been a long time, friend.

Such a bland Arsenal summer if it's Gyokeres, Zubimendi, Norgaard and Madueke.

£55m seems a bit silly but I'm not a fan of the Adeyemi/Bakayoko links, Akliouche seems fan-driven + there generally doesn't seem to be much out there in such a position. And when you see the Joao Pedro, Gittens and Kudus numbers, it again doesn't feel too bad. Elanga is merely ok, I like that he's two-footed but would prefer a different type of player to unlock those deep defences.

Had to mute 'Jota' on Twitter because it was getting a bit too upsetting. Still devastated with the news, it's absolutely heartbreaking.

She's aware

We're all just stunned at work, like. No idea how to continue the day because everything about this is so tragic. All these recent professional and personal highs, ended so abruptly. Fucking hell, man. RIP Diogo and Andre

Claims to, but not really Can provide her with a few go-to lines on the Metro though.... in the mad scenario that one turns up, of course.

I keep hoping we bump into these in Tynemouth and, once my Italian wife talks to them, we all become best friends. That's possible, right?

The amount of money put down is impressive but not so much those players, based on reports.

What's all this Dibling hype about, then?

Most of the anger I have isn't about missing out on Joao Pedro - I don't like him or think he's particularly good + don't think Pedro/Delap/Gitten improve Chelsea - but it's the pattern of repeatedly embarrassing ourselves with these transfer sagas. Even the one we're buying, Trafford, has basically taken a year. The one positive is that maybe our lot are finally forced into turning attention to the continent.

You won, Chelsea. Enjoy Joao Pedro, I hope he makes you very happy. Dear Lord, what a sad little life you have. You ruined our summer completely, so you could buy everyone, but I hope now you spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on.

Apart from Trafford - another example of how painfully slow we conduct business - probably next week tbh. Individually, missing out on Joao Pedro (overpriced, overrated, bit of a dick) and Guehi (we can do better) is absolutely fine. But when you combine it with Delap and Mbeumo, there's definitely a worrying pattern about the way we chase players, inevitably getting gazumped. Hey, maybe this time they've planned properly and there's an actual Plan B/C/D in the pipeline. Really hope so But the last couple of years have me cynical about that.