Ishmael

Makes frugal sense to get the replacement in after the sale. You don't want to be left with an unnecessary player if the sale of your player breaks down.

He once played David James as a striker.

That's not Ben Arfa

Step one towards improving the quality of coaching in this country: ban ex-players from becoming coaches.

Ah, the not replacing players myth has resurfaced.

It's OK to wear a Virgin Money sponsored shirt though, yeah. Silly media bollocks.

Torino, are you mad?

Well done @footballshirts, it's called a template

So much hypocrisy

Funny that.

Williamson looks so out of place.

Our players think effective pressing is for everyone to chase the ball

We'll score in the next 10 minutes. It's what we do: play shit, concede, improve and nick one.

Butland has invisible hands.

Clyne, what a mess.

fk

Wickham's lack of fundamental control saved by an offside,

Butland is a train wreck desperate to happen.

Pardew is masturbating furiously at this lot. They can play hoofball AND score from corners. Sign them up!

SET PENIS GOAL

Wickham mate, you were in the perfect position not to stand 2 fucking yards offside, but you did. Well done.

And with all the nonsense the FA's representatives have been churning out in recent months about playing the "English way", I can only assume that pussy footing around, playing Pardew-ball must be the English way. Pardew for England.

Pearce is another English coward. Will not risk going toe to toe with an opposition of a similar standard.

Italian player getting on his Busquets after a pretty clumsy Shelvey tackle. My conclusion, he's fine, but Shelvey is a clumsy oaf. Probably made it because he's 2 foot taller and 2 yards faster than everyone at his school.

Insigne just cut us open. Lucky not to concede.