Happinesstan

I imagine we'll see that quite a lot. He's clearly our biggest danger and will be treated as such, but that's exactly what we've always needed. It's down to the rest of the team to capitalise.

He always gets the plaudits at this time of year. Start of the season they'll be questioning his methods once again. Bunch of braindead farts that we depend on for news comment.

Commercial opportunities abound. The referee is consulting VAR! What's his decision? We'll find out after the break.

Bit weird mate Nonetheless, hanging fire for a second or so is a bit different to a couple of minutes... So no one else looks at the lino to check? I do, it’s not weird at all. If there’s a chance of an offside/foul/handball in the build up then i always hang fire in case it gets disallowed. Yes, joking aside, we probably all do glance at the linesman, if we think there's something, usually offside, potentially wrong with any goal. But as I say, that's a second or so that doesn't impede upon the spontaneity of your celebration. Hanging fire while they check 17 different camera angles to look at something will. It was very evident in that brilliant goal Tadic scored at Madrid last week. Quick glance at the linesman is a part of winding up the spring.

Who complains about their own players' celebrations? I love it.

Before Almiron arrived, Ritchie's biggest responsibility was to provide creativity, he's now doing a completely different job. It'll come, I'm sure.

Loved the roar from the crowd when he won the corner at the end. But nothing was more satisfying than when he casually lashed home the winner.

His shot for the 2nd goal was straight out of Joselu's wishlist.

If you're trying to capture the real-life atmosphere of the game then please shut the fuck up with the wannabe commentator. That's what I hate about these pricks.

A real Desmond T. Doss today.

Turns out he was on the pitch all the time, like all true super-heroes.

Yellow card for throwing the ball (which is traditionally kicked), fuck all for the rugby tackle.

I hate Ashley as much as the next person but... what on earth are you on about? ? Almost every sentence you wrote defies every law of economics and upends the last 120+ years of history. Poverty is at a record low and is only going to get lower, technology has always, always made things cheaper: Adam Smith settled this debate ages ago, and has only been proved right every decade since. We can all hate Ashley without claiming the rapture is coming ? Relative poverty is on the increase in the UK as has been since 2009. Relative poverty might be on an upward trend in the UK, but global extreme poverty has plummeted to record low levels, and continues its shift downward. Unless another world war breaks out or we are plagued by disease or another recession, even the UK should be fine long term — oh I forgot about Brexit, so maybe not ? He's not buying the global high st. though, is he?

Teams can equalise versus 11, if the keeper doesn't do a Mortal Kombat on the forward.

Tell him to shoot, whenever he finds himself in a position to cross. He's got a better success rate at finding Rondon's head.

Yup. At the end of my tether now with Ritchie ignoring Miggy or not even understanding his runs. It's inevitable. Or Schar.

Hope we've got Judge Dredd on the bench, because there is FA chance we're getting any justice today.

Good goal, tbf.

Really don't get the equal pay stuff in sports, its impossible to implement. I've been shoving objects up my arse, on chaturbate, for2 years now, haven't made a penny. Who do I sue?

Far too casual.

Was it Keegan who said "Well I say why not"? It fucking was wasn't it? I remember him saying it. I always assume it was some French philosopher, or JFK, or something, whenever I use it. God I love that boke.

He's probably ahead of the curve. He knows poverty is on the increase, people soon won't be able to keep up the payments on their internet, and will be driven onto the streets to make their purchases. He'll drive the landlords away and fill every inch with shit for a 90%discount, which the people will have no choice but to accept. Soon we'll be comparing shit sandwiches, for real, on facebook.

He's on Celebrity Be a Dick For Charity, does he even have a comfort zone?

And yet he somehow manages to get rich selling that shit to ordinary people.

Proving he is more Happy Ben Arfa than Hate'm Ben Arfa.