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Dokko
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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

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I've got Cold and huge blisters on my feet that are pussing and bleeding from work.

 

Apart from that it's been canny.

 

Yak, that's just made me feel even more queasy.

 

 

 

Tell me about it, what's worse is that i've got to go in tomorrow, Friday and Saturday, god knows what state they'll be in come Sunday.

 

Got sent home at 10:00 :( Fucking crippled.

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

 

Whilst I normally find your inane rambling crass to say the least, I'm enjoying this one. Can't beat a bit of toilet humour.

 

7/10.

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

 

I've heard Syrup of Figs is a great way to counteract loose bowels. A good swig of that should see you right.

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

 

:lol:

 

Oh dear....

 

Feeling a lot better today, i think i was 24 hours behind my kid, so the back end of the illness approaches, which means its ok to get pissed now.

 

Finally!!!

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

 

Whilst I normally find your inane rambling crass to say the least, I'm enjoying this one. Can't beat a bit of toilet humour.

 

7/10.

Have a heart. This is a posting detailing the account of a chap carrying some severe illness yet somehow struggling to get through the day.  1 hour and 30 minutes in and the pain relief has not eased off, in fact I'm at my desk now, typing this, and where I'd normally be sitting with my back upright and legs bent at 90 degrees, I'm now in fact slightly more bent over at a 45 degree angle. This help to slow the spasms down a little but I can feel a little force on the rear end. Not sure what that could be but whatever it is, I'm not controlling it......The toilets are too far away to get there if there is to be some kind of explosion within a 20 second period. The beads of sweat are have tripled in number and size. I'm bloody frightened to even let a silent one off for fear of the damn breakin its banks........No sh*t. I'm in trouble and this place is surrounded by women, nice women.  My whole street credability is on the line here.......I wished I'd never gave up exercising I tell you and I know I'd make the toilet in time but right now, my ample frame will never manage it.....even the disabled bogs, which are nearer, require that you open three doors just to get there......

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

 

Whilst I normally find your inane rambling crass to say the least, I'm enjoying this one. Can't beat a bit of toilet humour.

 

7/10.

Have a heart. This is a posting detailing the account of a chap carrying some severe illness yet somehow struggling to get through the day.  1 hour and 30 minutes in and the pain relief has not eased off, in fact I'm at my desk now, typing this, and where I'd normally be sitting with my back upright and legs bent at 90 degrees, I'm now in fact slightly more bent over at a 45 degree angle. This help to slow the spasms down a little but I can feel a little force on the rear end. Not sure what that could be but whatever it is, I'm not controlling it......The toilets are too far away to get there if there is to be some kind of explosion within a 20 second period. The beads of sweat are have tripled in number and size. I'm bloody frightened to even let a silent one off for fear of the damn breakin its banks........No sh*t. I'm in trouble and this place is surrounded by women, nice women.  My whole street credability is on the line here.......I wished I'd never gave up exercising I tell you and I know I'd make the toilet in time but right now, my ample frame will never manage it.....even the disabled bogs, which are nearer, require that you open three doors just to get there......

 

What colour trousers are you wearing?

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

 

Whilst I normally find your inane rambling crass to say the least, I'm enjoying this one. Can't beat a bit of toilet humour.

 

7/10.

Have a heart. This is a posting detailing the account of a chap carrying some severe illness yet somehow struggling to get through the day.  1 hour and 30 minutes in and the pain relief has not eased off, in fact I'm at my desk now, typing this, and where I'd normally be sitting with my back upright and legs bent at 90 degrees, I'm now in fact slightly more bent over at a 45 degree angle. This help to slow the spasms down a little but I can feel a little force on the rear end. Not sure what that could be but whatever it is, I'm not controlling it......The toilets are too far away to get there if there is to be some kind of explosion within a 20 second period. The beads of sweat are have tripled in number and size. I'm bloody frightened to even let a silent one off for fear of the damn breakin its banks........No sh*t. I'm in trouble and this place is surrounded by women, nice women.  My whole street credability is on the line here.......I wished I'd never gave up exercising I tell you and I know I'd make the toilet in time but right now, my ample frame will never manage it.....even the disabled bogs, which are nearer, require that you open three doors just to get there......

 

What colour trousers are you wearing?

Honestly?  Dark brown chap. Dark brown......with a fine stripe......there is no danger of being able to see any soiled boxers through these babies. Probably the best bit of planning I've done all day really. Bloody good suit to ruin like.....

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Well I made it into work today having thought an early night would put me right.  I had my head over the toilet this morning and that's really unusual for me as I tend to have cast iron guts. Picked me up some milk of magnesia liquid from the Four Lanes and just done in to cap fulls. One of the lasses here at work is in stiches because apparently that is the maximum amount that you should not exceed in 48 hours.  That was 20 mins ago and all is ok...so far.....I think it's a bloke thing i.e. blokes that are ill, very rarely read the instructions regarding dosage of medicines or tablets, we just tend to (or I do) grab the bottle and take a massive swig.  Anyway, works for me.......

 

That's the rest of your day sorted then - it's a canny laxative :lol:

Update: 40 minutes into my slight milk of magnesia overdose and whilst my backend is holding up fine...ish though I now feel like I've got severe liver failure occuring.  The spasms I'm getting in my guts seemed to have increased thrice-fold and the pain is steadily worsening.  I have one or two small beads of sweat forming on my brow and my sphincter is now contracting as if it has a mind of its own.  I suspect this is the calm before the storm.....I'm desperately trying to think of a way in which I can reverse or neutralise the amount I've swigged.......

 

Whilst I normally find your inane rambling crass to say the least, I'm enjoying this one. Can't beat a bit of toilet humour.

 

7/10.

Have a heart. This is a posting detailing the account of a chap carrying some severe illness yet somehow struggling to get through the day.  1 hour and 30 minutes in and the pain relief has not eased off, in fact I'm at my desk now, typing this, and where I'd normally be sitting with my back upright and legs bent at 90 degrees, I'm now in fact slightly more bent over at a 45 degree angle. This help to slow the spasms down a little but I can feel a little force on the rear end. Not sure what that could be but whatever it is, I'm not controlling it......The toilets are too far away to get there if there is to be some kind of explosion within a 20 second period. The beads of sweat are have tripled in number and size. I'm bloody frightened to even let a silent one off for fear of the damn breakin its banks........No sh*t. I'm in trouble and this place is surrounded by women, nice women.  My whole street credability is on the line here.......I wished I'd never gave up exercising I tell you and I know I'd make the toilet in time but right now, my ample frame will never manage it.....even the disabled bogs, which are nearer, require that you open three doors just to get there......

 

What colour trousers are you wearing?

Honestly?  Dark brown chap. Dark brown......with a fine stripe......there is no danger of being able to see any soiled boxers through these babies. Probably the best bit of planning I've done all day really. Bloody good suit to ruin like.....

 

In which case, I'd relax your posture, sit back and just let it happen. Enjoy the moment.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Other than this stomach bug that's been hitting the nation there seems to be a lot of 'cold' about.  It's slowly attacking my immune system right now and I'm sweating (that a good sign?).  December and January are always the worst times of the year (or at least the most common I think) to pick up a virus.  Working in an office makes me feel ten times worse and it's days like this that I really wished I'd worked outside.......

I'm laying it on thick now so can see a couple of days off any time soon. After all it's just not right to come into work loaded with cold just so you can infect your colleagues right?

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girl 1 had winter vomiting virus  over the first weekend of the new year,Mrs Mad had it last weekend and apparently there is a avariant where you don't vomit but have the splats.

 

guts aching,on the pan 7 times through the night,half as many as the night before just so i can shit water,broke the toilet seat and going through a bog rall and a half per day. got the damp night sweats and it feels like someone is constantly pressing their thumbs into my eyes.

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Something wrong with me anyway.

 

I've had a stinging sort of pain deep in my throat the last two days or so, this morning I said fuck it and stuck my fingers down my throat and proceeded to spew out what seemed to be concentrated orange juice, had the taste in my mouth afterwards and it looked exactly the same consistency as juice generally does, not broken down at all.

 

I had a glass of it monday morning, is there any way it could somehow just have been sitting in some random pocket in my throat or something?

 

???

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ill again.

 

Sweating like pig, burning up, but feeling cold, throat full of razor blades, horrible dry cough that nearly kills me, pounding headache made worse by the cough, full of aches and pains, eyes hurting especially with daylight. Oh and a stomach sound like its going to explode and ear ache in both ears but thankfully they swap over to give me a break for a bit.

 

Need to get my arse into gear and get to uni for an interview thing today, no choice on the matter really.

 

Sure me little laddy brings back all sorts of diseases from nursery and inflicts them on me. My ill rate has quadrupled since he's been going there.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've got raging tonsillitis, swollen glands, earache, headache and a stiff neck. I'm thoroughly miserable and feeling sorry for myself.

 

So there.

 

Get well soon Cath. :)

 

Fucking man flu.  :weep:

 

Get a grip, 2J. :hmm:

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