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Guest K9
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Guest lankybellwipe

Errr....

 

:undecided:

come on bellend!  :pow:

 

Thats bellWIPE to you  :rant:

 

Have I mentioned this one?

 

Walking through the Marine Park one morning when I was 15, 37 years ago, me and a mate found a shopping trolley, and decided to have a shot on it.

 

3 lads suddenly appeared and enquired -

 

"What y' doing in our park eh?"

 

I turned to my mate in confusion, and noticed he was 30 yards away, legging it!!  :angry:

 

"Your park?"

 

I replied

 

"Aye, this is our park, what the fuck y' doing here y' skinny twat?"

 

At his point, I became aware of a certain degree of hostility!

 

"Er, sorry lads' I'm on me way out anyway!"

 

The larger of the 3, stepped forward, and enquired as to whether or not, I'd "Like my go!"

 

I had no idea what 'my go' was, so asked the question.

 

"Eh, what's me go?"

 

"Never mind that! D' y' want ya go?" he asked, prodding my chest

 

"I dunno man! Whats me go?" I was baffled, and scared

 

"Last chance y' lanky twat! DO YOU WANT YOUR GO?"

 

This was decision time! If he didn't get an answer, they would batter me to fuck!

 

"My go!  My go!"  I thought

 

"Maybe it means they will allow me to go, giving the situation 'my go' status?

 

"Yeah, go on then!"

 

They proceeded to batter me to fuck! And then throw me in a bush!

 

My advice to anyone offered 'their go' is to politely decline said offering, and run for the hills  O0

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Guest Toon Saint

We've just removed a vibrator from up a man's arse in theatre.

 

No word of a lie.

It must have been Dennis Wise, because I told him to go & fuck himself before. :coolsmiley:

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We've just removed a vibrator from up a man's arse in theatre.

 

No word of a lie.

It must have been Dennis Wise, because I told him to go & fuck himself before. :coolsmiley:

 

I'm expecting him to be one of our next emergencies this evening....

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Guest elbee909

Errr....

 

:undecided:

come on bellend!   :pow:

 

 

My advice to anyone offered 'their go' is to politely decline said offering, and run for the hills   O0

 

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me, just in my case, me and my mate both legged it.  Though he'd legged it first, and at a safe distance, shouted 'you black bastards' at them.  I don't condone racism in any way but you can't control what your mates say - we were probably 8 years old or something.  Where's the sport there?

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We've just removed a vibrator from up a man's arse in theatre.

 

No word of a lie.

 

:lol: Jesus.

 

Ugh, he's really let his standards slip.

 

He's not the Messiah, he's a very........... oh no,hang on,  Keegan's the Messiah apparently.

 

 

Fuck that's not going to help cheer Tooj up is it?

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Transport, motorways and tram lines

Starting and then stopping, taking off and landing

The emptiest of feelings, disappointed people clinging onto bottles

And when it comes, it's so, so disappointing

 

Let down and hanging around

Crushed like a bug in the ground

Let down and hanging around

 

Shell smashed, juices flowing wings twitch, legs are going

Don't get sentimental, it always ends up drivel

One day I'm going to grow wings

A chemical reaction, hysterical and useless hysterical and

 

Let down and hanging around

Crushed like a bug in the ground

Let down and hanging around let down again

 

You know, you know where you are with you, know where you are

With floor collapses floating, bouncing back and one day

I am going to grow wings

A chemical reaction, hysterical and useless hysterical and

 

Let down and hanging around

Crushed like a bug in the ground

Let down and hanging around

 

:weep:

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