Guest Heneage Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 I came home from Uni the other day, and My mum picked up my copy of the Metro, flicked to the classifieds, and began to read some out she went "Ooh Brian look, Women seeking Women, 28 year old woman enjoys The Cinema and eating out". Now with out missing a beat my Dad turned round and said "I bet she does the dirty bitch." I was literally in tears. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lankybellwipe Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 I came home from Uni the other day, and My mum picked up my copy of the Metro, flicked to the classifieds, and began to read some out she went "Ooh Brian look, Women seeking Women, 28 year old woman enjoys The Cinema and eating out". Now with out missing a beat my Dad turned round and said "I bet she does the dirty bitch." I was literally in tears. All hail to Brian! You are master over us all! Use the gord and follow him! Priceless Kris! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Why did your mam think your dad would be interested in a lesbian classified ad? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lankybellwipe Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Why did your mam think your dad would be interested on a lesbian classified ad? Cos she knows he's a man! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 About six years ago or so, I was in the car in a petrol station (near Leeds I think) with my mum, dad and little brother who was about seven or eight at the time. My dad came back from the shop having paid for the petrol and just as we were about to leave, a big black jeep with tinted windows pulled into the pump on the right of us and out got the bloke. My dad said "Hey, look, that's Gareth Southgate over there! Wave at him Rel!" So my little bro winds down the window and goes "Gareth!", at which point he smiled and waved back. Anyway, we drove off down the motorway and about five minutes later, my brother goes "Dad, that didn't look like Gareth Gates at all." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LucaAltieri Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 About six years ago or so, I was in the car in a petrol station (near Leeds I think) with my mum, dad and little brother who was about seven or eight at the time. My dad came back from the shop having paid for the petrol and just as we were about to leave, a big black jeep with tinted windows pulled into the pump on the right of us and out got the bloke. My dad said "Hey, look, that's Gareth Southgate over there! Wave at him Rel!" So my little bro winds down the window and goes "Gareth!", at which point he smiled and waved back. Anyway, we drove off down the motorway and about five minutes later, my brother goes "Dad, that didn't look like Gareth Gates at all." Your brother is never getting married Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firetotheworks Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 My nana pronounced Matt Damon as 'Matt Da mone' the other week, I pissed myself. Also my mates dad was eating chicken and almost choked after saying 'here, thats FOUL that!' Few years back my sister dropped a biscuit wrapper and my dad goes 'Amy, guns dont kill people, wrappers do' he thought he was a fuckin genius. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
midds Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Years ago my gran was getting used to using the tv remote control. She was reading the instructions out and it mentioned pressing the relevant button. She became increasingly annoyed when she couldn't actually find the button marked 'relevant'... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 My Grandma bought a copy of the Hartlepool Mail because she thought it was the last ever issue. It said 'Final Edition' on the front. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 My Grandma bought a copy of the Hartlepool Mail because she thought it was the last ever issue. It said 'Final Edition' on the front. I watched Last of the Summer Wine once for the same reason Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 My Grandma bought a copy of the Hartlepool Mail because she thought it was the last ever issue. It said 'Final Edition' on the front. I watched Last of the Summer Wine once for the same reason Fucking hell. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decky Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Déjá-vu: http://www.newcastle-online.com/nufcforum/index.php?topic=47916.msg1110779#msg1110779 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Eight year old nephew said that Rocky IV wasn't a good movie. Not a cracker, I'd imagine, but I pulled something shaking my head. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Eight year old nephew said that Rocky IV wasn't a good movie. Not a cracker, I'd imagine, but I pulled something shaking my head. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Eight year old nephew said that Rocky IV wasn't a good movie. Not a cracker, I'd imagine, but I pulled something shaking my head. They're doing Rocky week over here, Tooj. All five(four) of the ones they can show now. I land on Rocky IV right as he's about to fight Drago. I mean, for a kid, this is magic stuff here. So I tell him to watch this, and he just keeps going on and on about how the fight would be over if Jeff Hardy was there. What the hell am I supposed to do? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Eight year old nephew said that Rocky IV wasn't a good movie. Not a cracker, I'd imagine, but I pulled something shaking my head. They're doing Rocky week over here, Tooj. All five(four) of the ones they can show now. I land on Rocky IV right as he's about to fight Drago. I mean, for a kid, this is magic stuff here. So I tell him to watch this, and he just keeps going on and on about how the fight would be over if Jeff Hardy was there. What the hell am I supposed to do? You should have give him a right hook and then said can Jeff Hardy do that? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cp40 Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Eight year old nephew said that Rocky IV wasn't a good movie. Not a cracker, I'd imagine, but I pulled something shaking my head. My mam was looking through our home made video copies when she said, ooh look, Rocky Ivy. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Eight year old nephew said that Rocky IV wasn't a good movie. Not a cracker, I'd imagine, but I pulled something shaking my head. They're doing Rocky week over here, Tooj. All five(four) of the ones they can show now. I land on Rocky IV right as he's about to fight Drago. I mean, for a kid, this is magic stuff here. So I tell him to watch this, and he just keeps going on and on about how the fight would be over if Jeff Hardy was there. What the hell am I supposed to do? You should have give him a right hook and then said can Jeff Hardy do that? It's crazy. He was sitting there talking shit about Rocky. Now, I love this kid like he was my own son, but I was about to fuck him up. We got to talking about these types of movies, and I asked "Well, did you like Predator?" "...What's Predator?" I've failed as an uncle, right? Eight year old nephew said that Rocky IV wasn't a good movie. Not a cracker, I'd imagine, but I pulled something shaking my head. My mam was looking through our home made video copies when she said, ooh look, Rocky Ivy. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Déjá-vu: http://www.newcastle-online.com/nufcforum/index.php?topic=47916.msg1110779#msg1110779 Over 20,000 posts, you are bound to get a few repeats from me Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shak Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Déjá-vu: http://www.newcastle-online.com/nufcforum/index.php?topic=47916.msg1110779#msg1110779 Over 20,000 posts, you are bound to get a few repeats from me And maybe one that isn't shite one day too, if we're lucky. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Thats the dream. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Saved. Rebound scored. 4-3. Rebound any good? Worth looking at in January? Seems to score a lot. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LucaAltieri Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Saved. Rebound scored. 4-3. Rebound any good? Worth looking at in January? Seems to score a lot. Jon's posts are generally good, but that was shite. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Thought that was the one that was finally going to warm Shaks cold heart, oh well maybe next time Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Not family but at work someone wrote "Thanks" on the bottom of a letter and one of my colleagues thought it was signed by a T. Hanks Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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