Willow Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 A site guranteed to make you feel better http://www.fmylife.com some examples: Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 <b>Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML </b> :lol: mackems.gif Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest toonlass Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 <blockquote>Today at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the kids shoes were. I said, "For you or your son?" He says, "For my daughter." FML</blockquote> Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest toonlass Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 <blockquote>Today at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the kids shoes were. I said, "For you or your son?" He says, "For my daughter." FML</blockquote> I've read that 5 times and I still don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segun Oluwaniyi Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest toonlass Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaizero Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, my friends and I go to a bar and proceed to get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a little person. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest toonlass Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest toonlass Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, was the first time I saw a man's sex organs in real life. I was in anatomy dissection class and had to pull the cadaver's testicles out of his scrotum. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LucaAltieri Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 <blockquote>Today at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the kids shoes were. I said, "For you or your son?" He says, "For my daughter." FML</blockquote> I've read that 5 times and I still don't get it. Guy thought his daughter was a boy. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Parka Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lankybellwipe Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 What does FML stand for? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridman Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 What does FML stand for? see thread title Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 What does FML stand for? Fat MILF Loving Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest toonlass Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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