Fatwax Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Ok, for the last 8 months or so I've been on jobseekers allowance (which is like being penetrated dry constantly with nothing to show for it but blood and shame by the way). They've not helped me in any way and have been so unhelpful I'm not even sure if it's worth the jumping through hoops they've been making me do just for my £45(!!) a week. Due to my age (23) I've been put on various courses with people that I have only describe as scum, in which we build lego and do team building exercises so that we can get used to getting back into the workforce - I'm not even kidding. I consider myself an educated man with good qualifications and a fairly bright head on my shoulders.. I don't want to sound overly arrogant but these people are literally scum. The kind that you cross the other side of the street to avoid. Anyway.. I somehow managed to get a job as an assistant teacher in a school in January (which is handy as I start my PGCE in September) and only the other week did my CRB clearance actually come through allowing me to start earning a living. Throughout all of this I have had to continue to go to the job centre and continue to search for work and also continue to do these stupid fucking courses. I found out that my CRB had been cleared on the 19th so I signed off on the 20th of March since the following Monday they were expecting me to do a job placement where I work 35 hours a week for no more than £60. Due to the timing of my CRB clearance I now have to wait until the 22nd April when the kids go back to class which is fair enough.. ..what I was kinda clinging onto was my back to work bonus. The BTWB is a little scheme that says that if you have been unemployed for 6 months or more and then go back into work you get £100. I figured with the little money I currently have (about £60) I'll be able to scrape by until I start work, but after not receiving it and enquiring today it turns out that they're refusing to pay me it because I'm not going STRAIGHT into employment, I'm actually waiting a few weeks due to the term structure of the job, and the only way I can get money is if I sign back on for these 2 and a half weeks or so.. trouble is if I do that I have to immediately start that donkey placement bollocks they have lined up. One more major issue is that since I start work on the 22nd, I very much doubt that I'll get paid until the following May payday since it's so close to the day I get paid, which is the 28th of each month. I have £60 to my name, bills to pay such as my phone, cards etc. and been shat on by the job centre one last time which has just floored me. What the fuck do I do? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiquidAK Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Have sex with him. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEMTEX Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Just goto the doctors and get it checked out immediately. No amount of embarrasment is worth risking your health over. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gash Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Just goto the doctors and get it checked out immediately. No amount of embarrasment is worth risking your health over. Good Luck This. They will have seen it all before Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Try making money/savings wherever you can. My advice is go into Home Bargains, buy loads of their cans of pop and chewing gum (25p and 10p respectively) and sell it on at a profit. I've done it before btw. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cp40 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Try making money/savings wherever you can. My advice is go into Home Bargains, buy loads of their cans of pop and chewing gum (25p and 10p respectively) and sell it on at a profit. I've done it before btw. watch this space, Pilko,..monkseatons entrepreneur on the apprentice ,...coming soon Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
indi Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Get your contract from your new job and go into your bank with it and ask if they'll give you a temporary overdraft until you get paid, other than that my advice is do a bank-job. Come to think of it, if you buy a balaclava and roll it up like a hat then when you go in to ask about the overdraft, if they say "no" then you just roll it down, whip out your shooter and hey presto, two birds with one stone. At the very least this will save you shelling out twice for the bus into town and afterwards, you never know, you might even have enough to buy yourself one of those whole week passes!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Contact the Citizens Advice Bureau. It is what they are there for, after all. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LucaAltieri Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 ...gay advice.... ...which is like being penetrated dry constantly with nothing to show for it but blood and shame.... ...not going STRAIGHT.... ...placement bollocks.... http://www.bu.edu/mih/images/Freud.jpg Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cp40 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Ask Yorkie. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Ask Yorkie. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkie Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 lolllllllllllllllll Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ_NUFC Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Set up a paypal account and see how many donations you get from here. I'm not kidding. I'll give you $10 (Canadian) right now . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Parka Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 KY jelly. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiquidAK Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 ...gay advice.... ...which is like being penetrated dry constantly with nothing to show for it but blood and shame.... ...not going STRAIGHT.... ...placement bollocks.... You missed: ...jumping through hoops... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Ok, for the last 8 months or so I've been on jobseekers allowance (which is like being penetrated dry constantly with nothing to show for it but blood and shame by the way). They've not helped me in any way and have been so unhelpful I'm not even sure if it's worth the jumping through hoops they've been making me do just for my £45(!!) a week. Due to my age (23) I've been put on various courses with people that I have only describe as scum, in which we build lego and do team building exercises so that we can get used to getting back into the workforce - I'm not even kidding. I consider myself an educated man with good qualifications and a fairly bright head on my shoulders.. I don't want to sound overly arrogant but these people are literally scum. The kind that you cross the other side of the street to avoid. Anyway.. I somehow managed to get a job as an assistant teacher in a school in January (which is handy as I start my PGCE in September) and only the other week did my CRB clearance actually come through allowing me to start earning a living. Throughout all of this I have had to continue to go to the job centre and continue to search for work and also continue to do these stupid fucking courses. I found out that my CRB had been cleared on the 19th so I signed off on the 20th of March since the following Monday they were expecting me to do a job placement where I work 35 hours a week for no more than £60. Due to the timing of my CRB clearance I now have to wait until the 22nd April when the kids go back to class which is fair enough.. ..what I was kinda clinging onto was my back to work bonus. The BTWB is a little scheme that says that if you have been unemployed for 6 months or more and then go back into work you get £100. I figured with the little money I currently have (about £60) I'll be able to scrape by until I start work, but after not receiving it and enquiring today it turns out that they're refusing to pay me it because I'm not going STRAIGHT into employment, I'm actually waiting a few weeks due to the term structure of the job, and the only way I can get money is if I sign back on for these 2 and a half weeks or so.. trouble is if I do that I have to immediately start that donkey placement bollocks they have lined up. One more major issue is that since I start work on the 22nd, I very much doubt that I'll get paid until the following May payday since it's so close to the day I get paid, which is the 28th of each month. I have £60 to my name, bills to pay such as my phone, cards etc. and been shat on by the job centre one last time which has just floored me. What the fuck do I do? Start thinking for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
div-s- Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 I was told by a friend before you can still sign on for so many weeks co cover and lying time, not sure if its true or no but ask them anyway. I start one of they courses your on about next tuesday, not lookin forward to it at all!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dinotheprehistoricgeordie Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Sell some shit you don't need on amazon I've earnt about 200 quid in the last month selling things I don't use anymore. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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