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"About as effective as a solar-powered lamp.."


HawK

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From Setanta  http://www.setanta.com//uk/Articles/Football/2009/04/11/Prem-Stoke-v-Newcastle-report/gnid-48187/

 

Local lad Andy Carroll came off the bench to score the most important goal of his career to earn Newcastle a 1-1 draw at Stoke.

 

Having fallen behind to an Abdoulaye Faye header and then weathered an epic storm that should have seen Stoke go at least five goals up, Carroll looped an unlikely equalizer over Thomas Sorensen to give Newcastle an absolute lifeline.

 

To be absolutely blunt, Newcastle look like a Championship side. In fact, on Saturday’s evidence, they don’t even look that good.

 

In fairness to Shearer, his preparations weren’t helped on the morning of the game when Obafemi Martins cried off with a groin strain at 11am. The Newcastle boss looked angry, surely Martins knew earlier?

 

However, there can be no defending Shearer’s selection of Shola Ameobi as Martins’ replacement. About as effective as a solar-powered lamp, it is fair to say that Ameobi cost his team big time in the first half.

 

Newcastle’s defending from set-pieces was woeful and Ameobi was chief culprit. The warning signs were there after just five minutes when he totally lost Ryan Shawcross – the prolific Stoke man should have scored with a free header that fell wide.

 

The theme for the half had been set. Aside from one Michael Owen half chance, from a Ryan Taylor free kick, Newcastle played a form of footballing statues as Stoke peppered the visitors’ area at every opportunity.

 

Twice Ricardo Fuller should have done better with free headers, while James Beattie also came close at the back post. Shearer’s decision to drop Fabricio Coloccini after his nightmare showing against Chelsea was making little difference…Newcastle were a mess.

 

A goal was inevitable, although in the visitors’ defence it came from a ridiculous refereeing decision. Habib Beye had clearly won a goal kick, but the ref signalled corner. Controversy beckoned.

 

Time for Ameobi to totally lose former Newcastle man Faye, who powered home an emphatic header for a deserved 1-0 lead. Cue thousands of slumped Kevin Keegan-styled Magpies.

 

Stoke were rightly ahead…their tempo excellent. Unfortunately, their superb work on the pitch was marred just before half time as Ryan Taylor became the target of a missile. An FA investigation may well follow.

 

Speaking of investigations, there surely would have been a full-blown inquest into Newcastle’s defending at half time, yet they came out even worse for the second half.

 

Twice in five minutes they were forced to clear off the line, first from a Rory Delap header and then Ryan Taylor doing his job on the post after Ameobi had lost his man for the umpteenth time at a set-piece.

 

Anybody who levels a long-ball accusation at Stoke wants to watch them play…with Matt Etherington flying down the wing they got crosses in at will – Fuller the next man who should have profited.

 

Newcastle were so poor that Bruce Forsyth could have found space in their defence, and Tony Pulis must have been cursing his side’s prolificacy as Glenn Whelan paused, had a cup of tea, and then fired straight at Harper from the edge of the area.

 

Finally Shearer acknowledged things needed changing. On came Gutierrez for Guthrie, and finally Ameobi was hooked for Andy Carroll, yet still the chances fell Stoke’s way.

 

Fuller, so skilful, rolled his marker to set up a rapid-fire counter that saw Etherington run one-on-one. All the winger needed was a calm first touch…but it let him down as Beye got back to shackle.

 

Newcastle were about to punish him big time.

 

Carroll was the man to rescue Geordie hopes, making up for a glaring initial miss by looping the most self-powered of headers over Sorenson into the far corner. Local hero. Maybe he should start ahead of Ameobi.

 

STAR MAN: Ricardo Fuller 8*. A constant threat...although as guilty as most Stoke players for missed chances. Click herefor our exclusive player ratings and match stats.

 

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Setanta Player Ratings, seem about right:

Stoke 		               Newcastle 	
Thomas Sorensen 	6 	Steve Harper 	7
Andy Wilkinson (90) 	6 	David Edgar 	6.5
Ryan Shawcross 	7 	Sebastien Bassong 	6
Abdoulaye Faye 	7.5 	Habib Beye 	6.5
Danny Higginbotham 	6 	Ryan Taylor 	7
Liam Lawrence 	6.5 	Danny Guthrie (62) 	6
Rory Delap 	7 	Kevin Nolan 	4.5
Glenn Whelan 	6.5 	Nicky Butt 	5
Matthew Etherington (81) 	7 	Damien Duff 	6
Ricardo Fuller 	8* 	Michael Owen 	6
James Beattie (72) 	6.5 	Shola Ameobi (74) 	4
Substitutes 		Substitutes 	
Steve Simonsen 		Tim Krul 	
Seyi Olofinjana 		Fabricio Coloccini 	
Richard Cresswell (72) 	6 	Alan Smith 	
Danny Pugh (81) 	6 	Jonas Gutierrez (62) 	6.5
Stephen Kelly (90) 	N/A 	Geremi 	
Michael Tonge 		Andrew Carroll (74) 	7.5
Ibrahima Sonko 		Nile Ranger 	

 

Just about somes him up really doesn't it.

 

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It's not just about the failure of Shola Ameobi to be half-decent footballer worth his probably ridiculous salary.

 

It's about the consistent failure of Newcastle United's owners and managers over the past decade to recognise that the lad is an average Championship player at best.

 

To that extent, the phrase "about as effective as a solar-powered lamp" could be used to describe the competency of Messrs Shepherd, Robson, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce Keegan and Shearer as well as Messrs Ashley etc who have seen fit to keep the bandy-legged muppet at the club labouring under delusions that he could one day be good enough to play for England.

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Guest The Libertine

I'll put in a transfer bid for Ameobi of £2.50 in the next window for our shop 5-aside team.  Quick way out of a contract.

 

he's been on ebay before. nobody bid.

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It's not just about the failure of Shola Ameobi to be half-decent footballer worth his probably ridiculous salary.

 

It's about the consistent failure of Newcastle United's owners and managers over the past decade to recognise that the lad is an average Championship player at best.

 

To that extent, the phrase "about as effective as a solar-powered lamp" could be used to describe the competency of Messrs Shepherd, Robson, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce Keegan and Shearer as well as Messrs Ashley etc who have seen fit to keep the bandy-legged muppet at the club labouring under delusions that he could one day be good enough to play for England.

Give Keegan his dues. He did try to get rid of Ameobi. The deal fell through.

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He's right - Carroll has proved he's up for it whilst Shola has proved he's still the idle, ambling waster that he was 5 years ago.

 

Btw, did anyone notice that as soon as Setanta showed Carroll being stripped and ready, Shola won a flick on, then sprinted back to muscle Whelan off the ball and lay it off to a black and white shirt? Funny that, how the useless sod waits till he sees his replacement before putting in any effort. We should have Carroll standing on the touchline in his kit for 90 minutes, maybe then the fucker will actually put a decent shift in. Better still, we'll start Carroll and have Ranger as his replacement, with Shola in the reserves.

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Als Just being kind to Shola, he knows hes at fault for the goal & says he was dissapointed with it. Hes not going to openly slag the players to the media, even if it is Shola. Hes trying to keep them up on a high, not bring things down. No doubt they'll be focusing only on positivity once again.

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I know hes a nice lad and all but has there ever been a player in the history of the world who was clearly not up to the task from an early stage but who has been perceviered with for as long as Shola!!?!??!?!

 

What is it now?, 8 or 9 years already with 3 more to come??  :kinnear:

 

We are a joke of a club.

 

 

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To that extent, the phrase "about as effective as a solar-powered lamp" could be used to describe the competency of Messrs Shepherd, Robson, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce Keegan and Shearer as well as Messrs Ashley etc who have seen fit to keep the bandy-legged muppet at the club labouring under delusions that he could one day be good enough to play for England.

 

I would be inclined to agree with you on most of that, but Keegan was the only one out of that lot who was trying to get him out of the door and it was only the fact that teams were shocked at the fact we were asking them for money to take him off our hands that he ended up back in our squad when September rolled in.  You can say what you like about Keegan's management, but at least he was able to recognise the fact that Shola is fucking dogshit.

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I know hes a nice lad and all but has there ever been a player in the history of the world who was clearly not up to the task from an early stage but who has been perceviered with for as long as Shola!!?!??!?!

 

What is it now?, 8 or 9 years already with 3 more to come??  :kinnear:

 

We are a joke of a club.

 

 

 

shola's testimonial will be fun

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Guest firetotheworks

http://www.setanta.com//uk/Articles/Football/2009/04/11/Prem-Shearer-on-Martins-on-SS/gnid-48254/

 

“But out of every negative you take a positive. Both Andy and Shola [Ameobi] have given everything and proved a point today."

 

 

 

Farcical comment although the rest of what he said is spot on.

 

He said it about Shola as an after-thought, and said 'to be fair' and said he was coming back from injury. He knows he was shite.

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