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Stupidest thing you've ever done


Keefaz
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Ate loads and when the time to shit it out came, I held it in for a while, must have been out somewhere. Anyway, went for a shit, was the size of a small child, ripped my arsehole in 2 and gave me 2 lovely anal fissures.

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Guest firetotheworks

Rang up a girl I quite liked the first time I was properly pissed to tell her I loved her, it was recorded on video camera. It haunts me that I dont know where the video is.

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Rang up a girl I quite liked the first time I was properly pissed to tell her I loved her, it was recorded on video camera. It haunts me that I dont know where the video is.

 

Could be worse, you could be Sree and do it on national TV.

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Ate loads and when the time to shit it out came, I held it in for a while, must have been out somewhere. Anyway, went for a shit, was the size of a small child, ripped my arsehole in 2 and gave me 2 lovely anal fissures.

 

I had to take an emergency dump in the middle of the street in Stuttgart just after Galatasaray won the UEFA Cup. It was quite surreal as cars full of mentals waving Turkey flags flew round me while I was trying to work out how I was going to clean up. This isn't the stupidest thing I've done, but I thought I'd share.

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Crashed my car into a building pissed off my face, lost my licence for 15 months. Finally got it back in February

 

This is canny stupid. I think you're in the lead so far.

 

Is there a prize? If there is I just might post my stupidest thing....

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Rang up a girl I quite liked the first time I was properly pissed to tell her I loved her, it was recorded on video camera. It haunts me that I dont know where the video is.

 

I did this once, except I called and her dad answered the phone and I blurted out, "I really like your daughter, Mr. Allen!" Amazingly enough, the girl is question found this quite endearing rather than fucking idiotic.

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Crashed my car into a building pissed off my face, lost my licence for 15 months. Finally got it back in February

 

This is canny stupid. I think you're in the lead so far.

 

Is there a prize? If there is I just might post my stupidest thing....

 

Alright. There is a prize. If there is a big enough, good enough response from the N-O folk, I will send the winner something good.

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Once on the piss back when I was 15, we were set up at a pub for a private party as we knew the owner (naturally illegal for pub owners to serve minors, let alone close the pub down for a bunch of them), me and a mate (for some reason) found it amusing to go into the road when cars came driving around to make them stop. We kept doing this a canny few times, and when my mate wanted to lie down on the road when we saw a car in the distance, it was a fucking cop car. Ended up with us legging it before they got out of the car, they didn't chase us, but rather made the bar owner lose his bar license and he had to pay a hefty fine. He still doesn't talk to us almost five years later :lol:

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Dumping an ex-girlfriend, who I loved, for literally no reason.

 

 

Stupidest thing I will EVER do.

 

Held a lighter to a bullet until it went off. Blew a hole right through my mate's dad's shed and left a bit of shrapnel in his hand (my mate, not his dad).

 

These are both very stupid. Keep it up, lads. :thup:

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Guest firetotheworks

Stole my dads axe, went to chop into my fence, missed and landed it lovingly into my shin.  :aww:

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wrote a car off on the A184 at about 1.30am.  Was knackered (hadn't drank or owt) and was going back to Chester-le-Street from town.  Just wanted to get to bed, put me foot down, doing about 80, all was ok, but slowed down for the road splitting to the A1 north and southbound too sharply, the car skidded, tried to turn the wheel the other way in a vain hope to regain control and go north (even though I wanted to go south), the car hit the barrier separating the roads and skidded up, perched on top.

 

If you ever go down there, notice how the barriers have buffers on, whereas they used to go into the ground and slope up.  I thought I was the only person capable of achieving such a feat, but apparantly a mate's mate's mate (!) did exactly the same, so the highways agency altered the barrier.

 

I'm sure the car wasn't a write-off when perched on the barrier, it was only when the polis came and called for a recovery vehicle, the guy decided to get it down by climbing in the car, putting his foot down so the back wheels managed to rock, that it came down, f***ing the suspension in the process.

 

The car was only worth £700 like, but I felt like s*** after.

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