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The bystander effect


Jill
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Surprisingly, I'm not talking about our football players..

 

Was just reading this page and it got me thinking a bit. Anyone experienced something similar? I'm guessing it wouldn't be to the extent of those on that list, but just wondering if you did anything or nothing?

 

The only thing that springs to mind for me was years ago when i was probably about 13, saw a big beefy bloke shaking his lass, slapping her in the face and shouting right up in her face just round the corner from where I lived. My friend and I (she was about a year younger than me) shouted at him to leave her alone and went over and thankfully he ended up leaving. Sadly, I'm not actually sure I'd do the same these days, out of fear for my own safety and having more of an understanding of what could happen, though of course I'd like to think I would intervene.  :sadnod:

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Guest toonlass

I always wondered what I would do in an emergency and found out on the drive back from the Forest game. I had stopped at Leeds to pick my brother up and we were driving up the M1. As we came round a bend there was a car upside down in the middle of the carriageway. I slammed on the anchors, and managed to stop just about 10 foot away from the upturned car and the next thing I knew me and my brother were running towards the upturned car. As we got there the young lad driving managed to crawl out of the car window, and I took him over to the grass verge and sit him down. It wasn't until afterwards that both me and my brother realised that we hadn't stopped and thought "Oh what if the guy is now strawberry jam inside the car" or something, we just instinctively went to help.

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Some absolutely mental, hard as fuck, skin head, knuckle dragging beast of a man started on a lass at the train station once, I did think "I can't not do anything but this bloke will quite easily kill me and eat my insides" thankfully security turned up and about 6 of them just about managed to control him.

 

 

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Some absolutely mental, hard as f***, skin head, knuckle dragging beast of a man started on a lass at the train station once, I did think "I can't not do anything but this bloke will quite easily kill me and eat my insides" thankfully security turned up and about 6 of them just about managed to control him.

 

 

I thought you were a strong, muscular lad?

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Some absolutely mental, hard as f***, skin head, knuckle dragging beast of a man started on a lass at the train station once, I did think "I can't not do anything but this bloke will quite easily kill me and eat my insides" thankfully security turned up and about 6 of them just about managed to control him.

 

 

I thought you were a strong, muscular lad?

 

Well obviously  :smug:  :no:

 

This was long before I went to the gym and he would still rip my head off now!

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Guest Heneage

I was in a club and a bloke was about to hit a girl for bumping into him. He was markably taller and bigger than me and I wasn't too fond of getting my head caved, and was debating what to do. As I pondered the bouncers saw and dragged him off.

 

I almost had it happen another time previous when I was shopping with my Dad, on the way back to the car I noticed this young kid about 12 surronded by a bunch of the same age, one little upstart was demanding him to spit on his sunderland shirt. I just happened to say' Seen that bri' and went to get in the car. My Dad who was bullied as a kid, walks over and as the kid goes to swing he grabs him by the scruff of the neck pulls him back and gives him a clip round the ear telling him to 'f*** off home, now'. I just stood and watched, I mean really, my Dad could handle it the kid was about 5ft, but I just stood and watched.

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I've always had the mentality of "don't be a hero". I'm very willing to help people out in general, but I'm not dying or getting seriously injured to assist someone I don't know personally in a quarrel. I have personally gotten myself involved in various conflicts that didn't involve men, but that was only for family, friends, etc.

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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to fuck off, police to arrive etc etc

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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.
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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

so would i but i can never understand why.
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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

so would i but i can never understand why.

Because generally, women are physically smaller and not as strong as men. Beating a woman is like beating a kid, it takes a fucking coward to do it.

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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

so would i but i can never understand why.

Because generally, women are physically smaller and not as strong as men. Beating a woman is like beating a kid, it takes a f***ing coward to do it.

so if a large man hits a small man it equates to a medium size man hitting a woman of the same height ?.

 

hitting anyone for no reason is a fucking cowards way to do it,man ,woman or child.

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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

so would i but i can never understand why.

Because generally, women are physically smaller and not as strong as men. Beating a woman is like beating a kid, it takes a f***ing coward to do it.

so if a large man hits a small man it equates to a medium size man hitting a woman of the same height ?.

 

hitting anyone for no reason is a fucking cowards way to do it,man ,woman or child.

Well, yes, if a physically fit and big man started beating on a skinny small bloke, that would be about the same thing, iyam.

Obviously hitting anyone without reason is a coward, but someone hitting someone who's got no way of defending themselves is even worse.

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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

so would i but i can never understand why.

Because generally, women are physically smaller and not as strong as men. Beating a woman is like beating a kid, it takes a f***ing coward to do it.

so if a large man hits a small man it equates to a medium size man hitting a woman of the same height ?.

 

hitting anyone for no reason is a f***ing cowards way to do it,man ,woman or child.

Well, yes, if a physically fit and big man started beating on a skinny small bloke, that would be about the same thing, iyam.

Obviously hitting anyone without reason is a coward, but someone hitting someone who's got no way of defending themselves is even worse.

but we both know that a man hitting a woman who is bigger than him is seen as worse than a man beaten up a smaller man.
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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

so would i but i can never understand why.

Because generally, women are physically smaller and not as strong as men. Beating a woman is like beating a kid, it takes a f***ing coward to do it.

so if a large man hits a small man it equates to a medium size man hitting a woman of the same height ?.

 

hitting anyone for no reason is a f***ing cowards way to do it,man ,woman or child.

Well, yes, if a physically fit and big man started beating on a skinny small bloke, that would be about the same thing, iyam.

Obviously hitting anyone without reason is a coward, but someone hitting someone who's got no way of defending themselves is even worse.

but we both know that a man hitting a woman who is bigger than him is seen as worse than a man beaten up a smaller man.

 

You're being far too rational.

 

It just feels wrong to hit a woman. Logically there is no difference, but we're not dealing with logic, we're dealing with feelings.

 

Why it feels worse - even if logically it isn't any different - is a product of evolution. This is stuff that comes with us from the Savannah. We protect women and kids. It's a philosophy that obviously works; the people with this trait have survived right up to modern day societies.

 

Evolutionary psychology 101.

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Reminds me of something that happened when I was in Newcastle actually... was walking home from work one evening busy top of Grainger street. This rough 40smthg couple walking right in front of me started arguing and the guy suddenly stopped and punched his wife/gf in the face :lol:

 

Another random dude and I intervened, as we were the closest when it happened, to hold the crazy man back and attend to the woman who'd been floored. Was 2 minutes from being home... took for ever to get the guy to f*** off, police to arrive etc etc

i wonder if the reaction would have been different if it had been two blokes. this big thing about it being worse to hit a woman is crap.

 

On a legal side of things, I don't think people should be punished worse if its a woman, however if a woman is punched by a man, id be much more likely to do something tbh

so would i but i can never understand why.

Because generally, women are physically smaller and not as strong as men. Beating a woman is like beating a kid, it takes a f***ing coward to do it.

so if a large man hits a small man it equates to a medium size man hitting a woman of the same height ?.

 

hitting anyone for no reason is a f***ing cowards way to do it,man ,woman or child.

Well, yes, if a physically fit and big man started beating on a skinny small bloke, that would be about the same thing, iyam.

Obviously hitting anyone without reason is a coward, but someone hitting someone who's got no way of defending themselves is even worse.

but we both know that a man hitting a woman who is bigger than him is seen as worse than a man beaten up a smaller man.

 

You're being far too rational.

 

It just feels wrong to hit a woman. Logically there is no difference, but we're not dealing with logic, we're dealing with feelings.

 

Why it feels worse - even if logically it isn't any different - is a product of evolution. This is stuff that comes with us from the Savannah. We protect women and kids. It's a philosophy that obviously works; the people with this trait have survived right up to modern day societies.

 

Evolutionary psychology 101.

always been too rational me.

 

protect those that need it if you can regardless of age or sex. i'm only really sexist or ageist when it comes to shagging.

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I was walking up Pink Lane one night and this weird little nerdy guy went over to a woman in front of us and asked how much she was charging. Little did he know she was with her husband, who was massive by the way, one punch sent him flying back into the shutters of what is now electrik sheep.

 

Me and my mate did nowt like, figured he deserved it so we just went on our way to clayton chippy.

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I was walking up Pink Lane one night and this weird little nerdy guy went over to a woman in front of us and asked how much she was charging. Little did he know she was with her husband, who was massive by the way, one punch sent him flying back into the shutters of what is now electrik sheep.

 

Me and my mate did nowt like, figured he deserved it so we just went on our way to clayton chippy.

 

Euphemism.

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