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Surreal rumours you've heard.


Decky
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There was a rumour going round our town this week (everyone basically knows everyone :lol:) that my brother had topped himself by throwing himself in the canal. This wasnt true, was pretty surreal having to tell people he is infact very much alive. Who the fuck starts those kind of rumours? Any similar stories?

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I can't really think of much right now, but this kid at my primary school told us all sorts of stuff about his dad.

 

Including that his dad was an astronaut and threw a bit of moon rock down into their back garden (while he was on the moon I mean), and that he peeled a banana once and a scorpion was in it.  Wasn't really the kid's fault I suppose, I think his dad was a serial liar and he was extremely gullible.

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Back in 1998 (World Cup time) I was a passenger in a car trying to get to a pub to watch a Brazil game.

 

Anyhow, driver going a bit too fast, crashed pretty badly (snapped a lamp post in half!) but we all walked out without a scratch (I was told that I should have died by two people!). There was a school disco on that night and my younger brother heard a rumour that I ahd been killed, went home AFTER the disco had finished and told my Mam and Dad in a matter of fact way that I had died in a car crash.

 

Only problem was that I had come home an hour earlier, not told my parents about the crash, and was happily playing on the playstation.

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Back in 1998 (World Cup time) I was a passenger in a car trying to get to a pub to watch a Brazil game.

 

Anyhow, driver going a bit too fast, crashed pretty badly (snapped a lamp post in half!) but we all walked out without a scratch (I was told that I should have died by two people!). There was a school disco on that night and my younger brother heard a rumour that I ahd been killed, went home AFTER the disco had finished and told my Mam and Dad in a matter of fact way that I had died in a car crash.

 

Only problem was that I had come home an hour earlier, not told my parents about the crash, and was happily playing on the playstation.

 

That must have been an odd evening for your folks.

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peter beardsley and kathy secker (or in some rimours kathy seckers daughter)

 

varadi and keegans wife.

 

me having a big knob (seriously it done the rounds amongst my sisters friends after i befriended one of them)

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One of the Chuckle Brothers got caught having an affair, so he got hit with a wrench/spanner.

 

Bryan Robson and Claire Tomlinson having an affair, only Robson's wife caught them at it and beat Tomlinson with her crutch.

 

Dave Clark being removed from SSN for feeling one of the female presenters up under the desk.

 

All of these are treated as fact in discussions I have but I've no idea if they're true or not :lol:

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Hang on, so you are telling us you befriended some lass, and she (or someone as a result of said befriendment) spreaded a rumour that you have a big knob?

 

Is she on Facebook?

or more likely i shagged one of my sisters friends and to hide her embarrassment she said she done it cos of the size of my knob.

 

 

 

 

i don't know, at that time the rumour was i had a big knob amongst her friends and i can verify it's very average.

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Hang on, so you are telling us you befriended some lass, and she (or someone as a result of said befriendment) spreaded a rumour that you have a big knob?

 

Is she on Facebook?

or more likely i shagged one of my sisters friends and to hide her embarrassment she said she done it cos of the size of my knob.

 

 

 

 

i don't know, at that time the rumour was i had a big knob amongst her friends and i can verify it's very average.

 

Use of the word 'verify' had me chuckling there.

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Back in 1998 (World Cup time) I was a passenger in a car trying to get to a pub to watch a Brazil game.

 

Anyhow, driver going a bit too fast, crashed pretty badly (snapped a lamp post in half!) but we all walked out without a scratch (I was told that I should have died by two people!). There was a school disco on that night and my younger brother heard a rumour that I had been killed, went home AFTER the disco had finished and told my Mam and Dad in a matter of fact way that I had died in a car crash.

 

Only problem was that I had come home an hour earlier, not told my parents about the crash, and was happily playing on the playstation.

 

thers something deeply disturbing about that line.

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Hang on, so you are telling us you befriended some lass, and she (or someone as a result of said befriendment) spreaded a rumour that you have a big knob?

 

Is she on Facebook?

or more likely i shagged one of my sisters friends and to hide her embarrassment she said she done it cos of the size of my knob.

 

 

 

 

i don't know, at that time the rumour was i had a big knob amongst her friends and i can verify it's very average.

 

Use of the word 'verify' had me chuckling there.

 

 

the word verify implies that madras has measured or compared a huge number of knobs to establish his is average.

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