Interpolic Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Fuck it man, I'm spannered, was trying to think of funny things my granny had said but couldn't think of owt off the top of my head. I've already said it on here but when my Grandma took us to the pictures to see the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles film, she did it in full expectation that we were going to see a nature documentary because we referred to it as "Turtles". There's more - I just can't think of it at the minute. Anyway this is ripped off the Nanecdotes feature on Russell Brand's radio show. The best one I can remember from that show is when someone had their nan over for tea once and she said "what are these?" They said "peppers, nan" and she went "oh right, I'll buy some of them and try them then". So the next time they saw her they said "did you try peppers then, nan?" and she said "oh well I bought them yes. Buy I peeled them and they were empty apart from a few seeds so I chucked them out". Any nanecdotes then? Doesn't just have to be grannies: just any loveable old person stuff will do. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Mine don't really say that many mad things (that I can remember actually) although not long ago one of them asked if I had heard that Nelly Fritata song. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My Grandda once came home from a trip to the paper shop and declared that he'd seen "one of them durex dogs" in the park We presume he meant a sheepdog Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobby_solano Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 my grandad on hearing the stereophonics new track come on the radio: 'i hate that bloody rod stewart *switches radio off* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiquidAK Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 When I was younger and used to stay over there for a bit in the holidays while my parents were working, I'd be playing my gameboy, and my Nan and Grandad kept calling it my playboy. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lankybellwipe Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 What a coincidence!! I was just looking for the appropriate thread to post the following in!!! I have just been reading my phone book for half an hour, and got to thinking, is there a surname in here called 'Bread' Upon looking, the nearest i could find, was 'breadin' Theres one witty observation and bit of a laugh out the window!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 When the Indian family were moving gear into their house next door: Grandad: "I haven't seen this many Indians in the street since Custer's Last Stand!" erm.... wrong type of indians grandad. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 When the Indian family were moving gear into their house next door: Grandad: "I haven't seen this many Indians in the street since Custer's Last Stand!" erm.... wrong type of indians grandad. :lol: He probably waited for years to say that and you've just went and destroyed it for him. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefaz Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 True, like. Good gag that. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My grandma always claimed that she made "the best hotpot in North Shields". It was lush tbf - I just don't know where she gets off making such wild boasts unless she won a competition or something. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My grandma always claimed that she made "the best hotpot in North Shields". It was lush tbf - I just don't know where she gets off making such wild boasts unless she won a competition or something. Is your grandma Betty from Coronation Street? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My grandma always claimed that she made "the best hotpot in North Shields". It was lush tbf - I just don't know where she gets off making such wild boasts unless she won a competition or something. Is your grandma Betty from Coronation Street? Yes. Next. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gash Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Not a thing my nan would normally say but we were sitting there on about my uncle and she said "He is a twat isn't he" I replied Nan i wouldn't expect you say that, so she went on to justify why he was a twat so i just replied, i spose he is a twat then. Nan's say the best things! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 [flash=200,200] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulivye Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 When the Indian family were moving gear into their house next door: Grandad: "I haven't seen this many Indians in the street since Custer's Last Stand!" erm.... wrong type of indians grandad. :lol: He probably waited for years to say that and you've just went and destroyed it for him. Gen. George Custer, indian street fighter! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Blackbelts Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Mine once put her cup of tea down on some blu-tac, a struggle ensued when she tried to pick the cup back up with her pulling the cup as hard as she could, when the blu tac finally gave up its grip of the cup the tea then went flying all over my grandma...brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Zaius Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My mates nan is the most openly racist person i've ever heard. Just the other day she was describing how one of her relitives was seeing a black man by saying " He's as dark as the nights sky, fresh out of the jungle, a nice fella mind" she then went onto describe Eastenders as "The coon show" and tell us how theres so many black people that in the next 10 or 20 years there will be no white people as everyone will be "coffee coloured" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My mates nan is the most openly racist person i've ever heard. Just the other day she was describing how one of her relitives was seeing a black man by saying " He's as dark as the nights sky, fresh out of the jungle, a nice fella mind" she then went onto describe Eastenders as "The coon show" and tell us how theres so many black people that in the next 10 or 20 years there will be no white people as everyone will be coffee "coloured" That's the plan! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefaz Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Old people are hilariously racist in general, tbh. Or is that ageist? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Old people are hilariously racist in general, tbh. Or is that agist? Old people get away with being racist though, whenever they are it's put down to "character". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My mates nan is the most openly racist person i've ever heard. Just the other day she was describing how one of her relitives was seeing a black man by saying " He's as dark as the nights sky, fresh out of the jungle, a nice fella mind" she then went onto describe Eastenders as "The coon show" and tell us how theres so many black people that in the next 10 or 20 years there will be no white people as everyone will be coffee "coloured" That's the plan! I love how not everyones knows Mike is black, and will be unsure about posts like this. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 "It's just the way things were back then." Old people get a pass, but they're clever enough to know they get a pass so they just say the most outlandish shit. @ Fugazi. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefaz Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I think I'll be deliberately offensive when I'm old. Why not, eh? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I think I'll be deliberately offensive when I'm old. Why not, eh? I'm looking forward to it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
indi Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I think I'll be deliberately offensive when I'm old. Why not, eh? That's the whole point of life, isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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