Keefaz Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Wondering about dodgy situations you've found yourself and if/how you managed to extricate yourself. Fights, extra-relationship activities, school, parents... yee knaa. Thought I try to keep Parky happy. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palnese Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 was almost caught wanking once by my mom. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefaz Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 was almost caught wanking once by my mom. Good anecdote that. I'll have to remember it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 was almost caught wanking once by my mom. Good anecdote that. I'll have to remember it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Well Keefaz, I'd suggest you should help get the ball rolling - you're a colourful character after all. Anyway I had this one night where I went to a house party in Howdon when I was about 16. Excuse me if I end up talking bollocks cos I can't really remember what was going on now. I got mortal sharpish on vodka and decided to go back to Wallsend. Except I couldn't find Howdon Metro station from my mate's house. So I walked around for about an hour and a half, climbed over loads of stuff, walked over fields, dunno where the fuck I was. Anyway I ended up on a field and then at some huge car park with buildings by the side, and there were loads of vans lined up in the car park (it was about 3am). Now this is where my mind plays tricks. These were definitely vans but were they Police vans? Were they Army vans? Were they just bog-standard vans? Anyway I started walking amongst all the vans, got out the other end of them and, no shit, a spotlight appeared and fixed on me. And I heard a few voices going "YOU" and "GET HERE" or whatever. So instinctively I started running. So they caught me up after a while and were quite serious with me, like "what are you doing here?", "do you know where this is?" I was clearly mortal so they rang me a Taxi. I dunno where I was: was it an Army thing, was it a police thing, was it Roswell-on-Tyne? Feel free to enlighten me. It was probably a fucking Taxi rank and the details are cloudy now, but I swear it was dodgy. Anyway relating back to the thread: I could have been killed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefaz Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Awesome. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MW Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Once me and 3 mates back in the day were once stopped by the police (4 males had been spotted burglaring a house) anyway I had pills, mdma and coke on me at the time, n basically one of my mates (with previous offenses) ran away, so back up came in, along with a police dog. iv never been so scared in my life, was under 18 which made things worse, thankfully the police dog was chasing my friend who got away. then they got radiod that they had spotted the 4 males whod actually done it so they let us go. still think about that sometimes, never done it since. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weezertron Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 I can't sleep for toffee so I'll give this a shot. So I was in this band a far while back and the bass player was starting to get abit casual & disinterested. This largely coincided with him getting serious with a lass. So we all had band practice arranged for a Saturday and we all turned up but like his recent form, the bassist never showed. So as I started setting up the other guys in the band starting swearing and ranting about the bassist for not being there, calling his lass all the names on the sun etc. So we all sat down to wait for him to come and that's when the singer looks over to the bass amp and notices the guys phone is on top of it. We thought he must have been here and went up to morrisons for eats. So a good while past sitting about waiting until it all clicked. I had just bought a Marshall 4x12 cabinet (big speaker for my guitar amp) and there was the box just off to one side in the room. Aye, he was hiding inside the fucking box as some kind of prank. He obviously stayed in there longer than planned to avoid the awkward situation having heard all the name calling, which makes it all the more funnier. Eventually one of us said his name aloud and he lifted the box with a deflated "surprise". What was weird is the practice went on as normal, and not a word was spoken about it. He left the band soon after. So yes, always check your boxes. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lankybellwipe Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Well Keefaz, I'd suggest you should help get the ball rolling - you're a colourful character after all. Anyway I had this one night where I went to a house party in Howdon when I was about 16. Excuse me if I end up talking bollocks cos I can't really remember what was going on now. I got mortal sharpish on vodka and decided to go back to Wallsend. Except I couldn't find Howdon Metro station from my mate's house. So I walked around for about an hour and a half, climbed over loads of stuff, walked over fields, dunno where the fuck I was. Anyway I ended up on a field and then at some huge car park with buildings by the side, and there were loads of vans lined up in the car park (it was about 3am). Now this is where my mind plays tricks. These were definitely vans but were they Police vans? Were they Army vans? Were they just bog-standard vans? Anyway I started walking amongst all the vans, got out the other end of them and, no shit, a spotlight appeared and fixed on me. And I heard a few voices going "YOU" and "GET HERE" or whatever. So instinctively I started running. So they caught me up after a while and were quite serious with me, like "what are you doing here?", "do you know where this is?" I was clearly mortal so they rang me a Taxi. I dunno where I was: was it an Army thing, was it a police thing, was it Roswell-on-Tyne? Feel free to enlighten me. It was probably a fucking Taxi rank and the details are cloudy now, but I swear it was dodgy. Anyway relating back to the thread: I could have been killed. Bit of a walk (when hammerite) from Howdon, but the only rank of vans I know of are off Hadrian Road near Hadrian Hotel? ? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Well Keefaz, I'd suggest you should help get the ball rolling - you're a colourful character after all. Anyway I had this one night where I went to a house party in Howdon when I was about 16. Excuse me if I end up talking bollocks cos I can't really remember what was going on now. I got mortal sharpish on vodka and decided to go back to Wallsend. Except I couldn't find Howdon Metro station from my mate's house. So I walked around for about an hour and a half, climbed over loads of stuff, walked over fields, dunno where the fuck I was. Anyway I ended up on a field and then at some huge car park with buildings by the side, and there were loads of vans lined up in the car park (it was about 3am). Now this is where my mind plays tricks. These were definitely vans but were they Police vans? Were they Army vans? Were they just bog-standard vans? Anyway I started walking amongst all the vans, got out the other end of them and, no shit, a spotlight appeared and fixed on me. And I heard a few voices going "YOU" and "GET HERE" or whatever. So instinctively I started running. So they caught me up after a while and were quite serious with me, like "what are you doing here?", "do you know where this is?" I was clearly mortal so they rang me a Taxi. I dunno where I was: was it an Army thing, was it a police thing, was it Roswell-on-Tyne? Feel free to enlighten me. It was probably a fucking Taxi rank and the details are cloudy now, but I swear it was dodgy. Anyway relating back to the thread: I could have been killed. Bit of a walk (when hammerite) from Howdon, but the only rank of vans I know of are off Hadrian Road near Hadrian Hotel? ? Cheers BMW, maybe that was it but I fear I'll never know for sure. So this rank of vans: is it police, army or aliens? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northerngimp Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 I got lashed with a motorcycle helmet. No lucky escape. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lankybellwipe Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Well that particular rank are just commercial vehicles for rental/sale to showrooms I think, not sure. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Well that particular rank are just commercial vehicles for rental/sale to showrooms I think, not sure. Ah man, that's not very glamorous, takes the gloss off a bit. Tbh it probably was there or somewhere like that, it was mainly the spotlight and the stern men that made me think it was dodgy / sinister. Probably cos I was on their property or something. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lankybellwipe Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Well that particular rank are just commercial vehicles for rental/sale to showrooms I think, not sure. Ah man, that's not very glamorous, takes the gloss off a bit. Tbh it probably was there or somewhere like that, it was mainly the spotlight and the stern men that made me think it was dodgy / sinister. Probably cos I was on their property or something. Sadly, your 'Stern men' would most probably have been low paid security guards who, with the attachment of a hat to their bonces, thought it made them officers of the constabulary. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gash Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Ridiculously close to death in Peckham! Car driving straight around a corner through red lights, never been so scared in my life! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
relámpago blanco Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Once had a head on crash on the Beehive Road in the Rain going 50MPH, doctor said I was lucky to escape with minor injuries. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Ridiculously close to death in Peckham! Car driving straight around a corner through red lights, never been so scared in my life! I'll see to it that I find a more reliable hitman next time around. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen927 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Ridiculously close to death in Peckham! Car driving straight around a corner through red lights, never been so scared in my life! http://www.flytecrewblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/trotters-robin-reliant.jpg Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leffe186 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Used to live with a mate and his girlfriend. They split up and he was going to move out, was working away so hardly at home at all and me and his ex started fooling around. One night we were watching TV and she grabbed me and started giving me a hand Chandon (copyright Roger's Profanisaurus), I was getting close when my mate walked through the front door - managed to get my kecks halfway up and a pillow on my lap while she leaped into another chair. He stood at the door of the room for ages but didn't come all the way in, thank fuck, then went into the kitchen while I managed to stuff my junk back in. Nearly sticky in all meanings of the word. I'm not proud of it, but there you go. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dokko Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Nearly got caught taken in a massive bucket by me mam. Was about 16-17, in my bedroom with a couple of the lads having a round of buckets, it was my turn, i'd just took a massive one, proper lung killer when me mam and auntie walked in my room, we hadn't heard them as we were too busy laughing at one of the lads coughing up a lung after we stitched him. Anyway they burst in to the room to speak to me, one of the lads quickly covered the bucket with his coat while in my lungs festered a bucket so strong, so creamy you could eat it. I held it in for what seemed about 4 days, but realistically about a minute, nodding and making noises without opening my mouth were the responses me mam was getting to her questions, anyway after nearly passing out i couldn't take it any more, i exhaled and nothing came out...must say i was baked for about 5 hours after, you know that baked where its a little too much but you know it will pass in about 2-30 mins? Well i had that for about 5 hours. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
madras Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Nearly got caught taken in a massive bucket by me mam. Was about 16-17, in my bedroom with a couple of the lads having a round of buckets, it was my turn, i'd just took a massive one, proper lung killer when me mam and auntie walked in my room, we hadn't heard them as we were too busy laughing at one of the lads coughing up a lung after we stitched him. Anyway they burst in to the room to speak to me, one of the lads quickly covered the bucket with his coat while in my lungs festered a bucket so strong, so creamy you could eat it. I held it in for what seemed about 4 days, but realistically about a minute, nodding and making noises without opening my mouth were the responses me mam was getting to her questions, anyway after nearly passing out i couldn't take it any more, i exhaled and nothing came out...must say i was baked for about 5 hours after, you know that baked where its a little too much but you know it will pass in about 2-30 mins? Well i had that for about 5 hours. what ther fuck is all that ? anyhoo , narrow escape. i was convinced the my partner of the time was preggars and so was she, went to work while she went to the docs for results.....i partied like a twat that night. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Nearly got caught taken in a massive bucket by me mam. Was about 16-17, in my bedroom with a couple of the lads having a round of buckets, it was my turn, i'd just took a massive one, proper lung killer when me mam and auntie walked in my room, we hadn't heard them as we were too busy laughing at one of the lads coughing up a lung after we stitched him. Anyway they burst in to the room to speak to me, one of the lads quickly covered the bucket with his coat while in my lungs festered a bucket so strong, so creamy you could eat it. I held it in for what seemed about 4 days, but realistically about a minute, nodding and making noises without opening my mouth were the responses me mam was getting to her questions, anyway after nearly passing out i couldn't take it any more, i exhaled and nothing came out...must say i was baked for about 5 hours after, you know that baked where its a little too much but you know it will pass in about 2-30 mins? Well i had that for about 5 hours. what ther fuck is all that ? anyhoo , narrow escape. i was convinced the my partner of the time was preggars and so was she, went to work while she went to the docs for results.....i partied like a twat that night. And similar to the second thing you said: I was having a rough time with an ex-girlfriend, suggested we saw each other a bit less so that we weren't in each other's pockets and fighting all the time, just for a bit. Things were a bit mental for a while. We ended up splitting up properly about a month after and later she let it slip that she stopped taking the pill because she thought she was going to "lose me". Crackers. Edit: obviously she never got pregnant, this is the narrow escapes thread. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Nearly got caught taken in a massive bucket by me mam. Was about 16-17, in my bedroom with a couple of the lads having a round of buckets, it was my turn, i'd just took a massive one, proper lung killer when me mam and auntie walked in my room, we hadn't heard them as we were too busy laughing at one of the lads coughing up a lung after we stitched him. Anyway they burst in to the room to speak to me, one of the lads quickly covered the bucket with his coat while in my lungs festered a bucket so strong, so creamy you could eat it. I held it in for what seemed about 4 days, but realistically about a minute, nodding and making noises without opening my mouth were the responses me mam was getting to her questions, anyway after nearly passing out i couldn't take it any more, i exhaled and nothing came out...must say i was baked for about 5 hours after, you know that baked where its a little too much but you know it will pass in about 2-30 mins? Well i had that for about 5 hours. Nice skills. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 What the fuck are you on about TT? Creamy buckets? What the fuck? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dokko Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 What the fuck are you on about TT? Creamy buckets? What the fuck? Something like that, though that is some serious glowing hotrocks there. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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