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You C*#t


Rebellious
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:angry:  :doh:

 

Have you ever done something so stupid and thought to yourself you stupid C*#T. Me most recently 5 mins ago.

I have just moved to a nice house in the country but its a shit hole at the moment. Been working solid on it for 3 weeks now. I did it for the quite and to have a front Garden/Drive 6 times bigger then my previous back garden. The back Garden is beyond massive. I have finially finished the bathroom and now moving onto laying a carpet in the kids room. I finished watching the Community Shield, have had a few drinks and a smoke. So stupid me decides to start playing with Stanley Knives.  :facepalm:  :clap: 

 

The wife raised an eyebrow when I joked not the best idea all cocky with knife in hand. I lasted 3 minutes carpet fitting. I didn`t do the obvious and cut myself out right, I was pulling a cut bit of carpet and it came away easier than I thought. In the process the follow through had me virtually punching the sharp end of the knife right to bone, instant bruise, pissing blood. Its gonna hurt like F**k tommorrow I can tell as its aching through my drunkness.

 

Anyone else got any stories ??

 

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid cunt"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid cunt"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

 

Don't kids like that just cry all the time anyway, probably hadn't noticed his clothes.

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Went to the bar with a lass I had been getting into last night, she didn't pay the right amount for her drink she spends the next 5 minutes looking in her purse for the money she owed which was 10p, being the gentleman I am I offer to buy the drink for her not the full amount though just the 10p she owed  :troll:

 

She calls me a dick I start singing "I Need A Dollar" in her face she says she needs the toilet...i never see her again.

 

Not even being touched by Shola last night could make me feel better.

 

:alone:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Went to the bar with a lass I had been getting into last night, she didn't pay the right amount for her drink she spends the next 5 minutes looking in her purse for the money she owed which was 10p, being the gentleman I am I offer to buy the drink for her not the full amount though just the 10p she owed  :troll:

 

She calls me a dick I start singing "I Need A Dollar" in her face she says she needs the toilet...i never see her again.

 

Not even being touched by Shola last night could make me feel better.

 

:alone:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:spit: :lol:

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid c***"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

 

:lol: That's the most homo-erotic story ever. A cold water fight ffs.

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid c***"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

 

:lol: That's the most homo-erotic story ever. A cold water fight ffs.

 

Naked cold water fight... :gayfight:

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid c***"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

 

:lol: That's the most homo-erotic story ever. A cold water fight ffs.

 

Naked cold water fight... :gayfight:

 

:lol: 'Oh my gawd, you're such a bitchhh'

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I stupidly tried to force a plug out of a power-socket with a pair of nail scissors (I had made sure it was turned off at the wall first!) Said scissors slipped and went into the bit of skin between my thumb and finger, which started pissing blood all over the bedroom floor. :D

 

Not one of my  better ideas!

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Went to the bar with a lass I had been getting into last night, she didn't pay the right amount for her drink she spends the next 5 minutes looking in her purse for the money she owed which was 10p, being the gentleman I am I offer to buy the drink for her not the full amount though just the 10p she owed  :troll:

 

She calls me a dick I start singing "I Need A Dollar" in her face she says she needs the toilet...i never see her again.

 

Not even being touched by Shola last night could make me feel better.

 

:alone:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:mackems:

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Went to the bar with a lass I had been getting into last night, she didn't pay the right amount for her drink she spends the next 5 minutes looking in her purse for the money she owed which was 10p, being the gentleman I am I offer to buy the drink for her not the full amount though just the 10p she owed  :troll:

 

She calls me a dick I start singing "I Need A Dollar" in her face she says she needs the toilet...i never see her again.

 

Not even being touched by Shola last night could make me feel better.

 

:alone:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol: Are you really that tight? Fucking hell. :lol:

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid c***"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

 

:lol: That's the most homo-erotic story ever. A cold water fight ffs.

 

Naked cold water fight... :gayfight:

 

:lol: 'Oh my gawd, you're such a bitchhh'

 

You never did things like that after PE? Throughout my whole time in school there was always something happening after PE. Water fights, towel spanking, butt rally, hiding clothes, soaking people in shampoo etc. Part of growing up tbh.

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You didn't have to cut your hand off to tell us you have a massive house in massive grounds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:troll:

 

 

 

 

:lol:  Strangley its a council house, We are known as the only council house in the village and its 3 bed nothing massive  :lol:  But yeah I did shoe horn in the massive gardens  :-[

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Went to the bar with a lass I had been getting into last night, she didn't pay the right amount for her drink she spends the next 5 minutes looking in her purse for the money she owed which was 10p, being the gentleman I am I offer to buy the drink for her not the full amount though just the 10p she owed  :troll:

 

She calls me a dick I start singing "I Need A Dollar" in her face she says she needs the toilet...i never see her again.

 

Not even being touched by Shola last night could make me feel better.

 

:alone:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol: Are you really that tight? f***ing hell. :lol:

 

Just a tit with lasses when I've been drinking I get easily distracted as well, was talking to a lass from Blackburn in Sam Jacks not long back about how good Samba and Colo would be together,she tells me and my mate to take her and her mate to Digital, we get as far as Halfords and I get distracted by the busker singing Blaydon Races which i join in with followed by a rendition of Wonderwall.

 

The only thing we got from it was the buskers cd the lasses f***ed off.

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid c***"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

 

:lol: That's the most homo-erotic story ever. A cold water fight ffs.

 

Naked cold water fight... :gayfight:

 

:lol: 'Oh my gawd, you're such a bitchhh'

 

You never did things like that after PE? Throughout my whole time in school there was always something happening after PE. Water fights, towel spanking, butt rally, hiding clothes, soaking people in shampoo etc. Part of growing up tbh.

 

We used to throw the gimpy kid in the showers with all his uniform on quite a bit. But none of this gayness, no.

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YES!

 

7 or 8 years ago, after a gym class, I ended up in a cold water fight in the shower with this guy where both of us absolutely had to have the last dig. He threw a bucket of ice cold water over me and stormed out of the shower. Seeing as I had to avenge this, I filled the bucket to the brim and went after him. He went out to the changing rooms and into a small toilet, standing in the door taunting me, so I threw the water towards him only for him to close the door just in time so all the water ended up on the floor in the changing room.

 

The "I´m a stupid c***"-moment came about a minute later when I noticed a kid with down syndrome standing naked up on the bench while crying, only for me to realize that all the water had hit his clothes and were soaking wet. Ever tried to comfort a naked kid with down syndrome while you are naked as well, with about 15 other guys watching you? Not my greatest moment....

 

:lol: That's the most homo-erotic story ever. A cold water fight ffs.

 

Naked cold water fight... :gayfight:

 

:lol: 'Oh my gawd, you're such a bitchhh'

 

You never did things like that after PE? Throughout my whole time in school there was always something happening after PE. Water fights, towel spanking, butt rally, hiding clothes, soaking people in shampoo etc. Part of growing up tbh.

 

We used to throw the gimpy kid in the showers with all his uniform on quite a bit. But none of this gayness, no.

 

:memelol:

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Went to the bar with a lass I had been getting into last night, she didn't pay the right amount for her drink she spends the next 5 minutes looking in her purse for the money she owed which was 10p, being the gentleman I am I offer to buy the drink for her not the full amount though just the 10p she owed  :troll:

 

She calls me a dick I start singing "I Need A Dollar" in her face she says she needs the toilet...i never see her again.

 

Not even being touched by Shola last night could make me feel better.

 

:alone:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol: Are you really that tight? f***ing hell. :lol:

 

Just a tit with lasses when I've been drinking I get easily distracted as well, was talking to a lass from Blackburn in Sam Jacks not long back about how good Samba and Colo would be together,she tells me and my mate to take her and her mate to Digital, we get as far as Halfords and I get distracted by the busker singing Blaydon Races which i join in with followed by a rendition of Wonderwall.

 

The only thing we got from it was the buskers cd the lasses f***ed off.

 

:lol:

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