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Experiences of depression and anxiety


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1 hour ago, Dokko said:

 

My go to is animals. Could spend all day watching dogs be rehomed but then it's usually spoiled by the fact humans have treat them so badly in the 1st place. It's usually at the point I go in for extra hugs from these 2 knackers.

 

I'm also in to the outdoors more and notice my mood changes with more exposure. 'Let nature be your teacher' can't remember who said it but works for me. With a bit of mindfulness along the way it does sooth the soul. Maybe that's what Kets is missing when down there, some nature and outdoors. Might be wrong but my 1st thought of London is concrete jungle for miles.

 

London is supposedly classified by the UN as a forest. Same number of trees as people pretty much. 😀

Depends on where you are (I'm south east) but there are decent parks and wildlife knocking about. Highly recommend getting on a bike and just tootling around on the quietways or canals and dropping into a pub once in a while. Makes you appreciate London as just a series of villages with very different vibes.

Always up for a pint if Kets or anyone fancies one (or a ride, fnarr).

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When all is said and done we're a bag of chemicals.  I have depression and I take a pill that balances my chemicals so I'm generally happier and not bedeviled by dark and negative thoughts.  Still I have down days so there are things I can do to get me back on track. Work outside, take a walk, even just sit in the sun.

 

Maybe you think if you take a walk you'll stand out like a sore thumb.  I promise you, you don't.  Or maybe you don't take a walk because you figure it'll be boring.  Try it even if the first few times you're bored.  You'll notice flowers or interesting people...kids running and playing, giggling, laughing.  Dogs running and jumping.  Maybe you duck into a shop and see some interesting things or have a perfectly non descript conversation.  Soon you find that your mood is elevated and you stop thinking about all the shit that bothers you, if only for a little while. 

 

We can choose to be happy.  When I feel negative thoughts crowding in sometimes I simply choose to think about more positive things.  I don't run from my problems or stuff my feelings behind a fake smile, I make a decision to not let negative things rule my life.  I know it sounds like bullshit but it is not.  The physical things we do and the positive thoughts we think release chemicals in our brain, chemicals that are dormant when we are depressed, chemicals that are suppressed by those chemicals released by anxiety.

 

I can't control most of the stuff that comes up in life but I can control how I think about it and how I react to it.  Frankly, I got tired of being unhappy.  It's a journey to find a happier life and sometimes I stumble but fuck it.  just get back up and keep going.

 

Happiness is an inside job.   

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I don’t think talking therapies are for everyone and it’s often not straightforward figuring out what’s the best fit for each person in regards to therapy but I think what you’ve described @Ketsbaia would fit well with a CBT model if you thought it would be helpful to talk with someone about how you feel in more depth. I don’t know if you’ve tried an IAPT service, they’re hit and miss really depending on therapists you’re assigned but they can make a difference and are free. There’s no getting away from the fact though that London is a relentless place, sensory-wise it’s overload. I lived there for six years and would have gladly left after three but my wife enjoyed it far more than me. I just got ground down by working during the day but often having things on in the evening, eventually I just dramatically reduced what I was doing and then shortly after we left. Very glad we did as when you’ve got a busy mind and are feeling overwhelmed, London doesn’t really allow for things to slow down

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Nowt pathetic about it. It's a rogue feeling about a situation which you currently aren't coping with. Many things you can do about it, one of them is just trying to get on with it and tbh if you can as good as any. Usually the thoughts that build up don't match the actual situation once it arrives. I do that one all the time and why I tend to get very drunk in social situations. 

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1 hour ago, Dokko said:

Nowt pathetic about it. It's a rogue feeling about a situation which you currently aren't coping with. Many things you can do about it, one of them is just trying to get on with it and tbh if you can as good as any. Usually the thoughts that build up don't match the actual situation once it arrives. I do that one all the time and why I tend to get very drunk in social situations. 

The bolded is so true...feelings are not facts.

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"Feelings are not facts" is a good one.

 

When I'm feeling crap my head tries to list all of the negative shit and convince me it's a fair reflection on things, and there's a lot of power in realising that's false. 

 

Kets - good luck with it. Focus on the positives, e.g. seeing your lass, a change of scene etc. Make sure you get out for a walk once a day. You'll work this all out at some point and wonder why it seemed so insurmountable at the time. 

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Thanks all.

 

On the train now and I feel surprisingly ok, although last time's troubles began upon arrival. Gonna try alternating weeks between home and London, if that keeps me sane. I certainly don't mind the travelling.

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Seriously is there anyway i can use my mental health to get a house on the council?  I've spoken to my doctor's a few times about my problems and not receiving any financial help. It looks like I'll be at home till I die 

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On 14/07/2021 at 20:29, astraguy said:

Seriously is there anyway i can use my mental health to get a house on the council?  I've spoken to my doctor's a few times about my problems and not receiving any financial help. It looks like I'll be at home till I die 

hey man, are you okay? you should be able to get like ESA I think and paid rent. You should contact CAB they can help.

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Does anyone else get bad anxiety from group chats? I have a couple and someone posted a stupidly obviously fake picture of 'escort who's 14 who's pimps tried to extort PL (allegdly) footballer' and I was the only one who was like 'yeah I think this is bullshit' it feels like I'm out of order, but like it's quite clearly victim blaming bullshit 'she looks older than 14!!!' and it's most likely just some random girl. Sometimes I think it's easier to say nothing but then I'm down on myself for not speaking up when I think something is wrong. 

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I have a groups that I need to remain part of for work, but regularly contains paranoid, right wing nonsense about the Labour Party, the EU, immigrants, etc. I just keep it on mute and dip in and out when I absolutely need to. It's like a Breitbart echo chamber, I ain't reading that shit.

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I don’t really have any groups like that, a bit of mild misogyny here and there. 
 

Hard to say what to do. Tempted to tell you to speak up and make the counter argument, but I understand that’ll be difficult and probably won’t often work. 

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3 minutes ago, The Prophet said:

I have a groups that I need to remain part of for work, but regularly contains paranoid, right wing nonsense about the Labour Party, the EU, immigrants, etc. I just keep it on mute and dip in and out when I absolutely need to. It's like a Breitbart echo chamber, I ain't reading that shit.


What kind of work-related groups have that stuff in? 

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1 minute ago, AyeDubbleYoo said:

I don’t really have any groups like that, a bit of mild misogyny here and there. 
 

Hard to say what to do. Tempted to tell you to speak up and make the counter argument, but I understand that’ll be difficult and probably won’t often work. 

Yeah I don't think it's like overt, just lack of critical thinking, I just feel like a dick pointing it out and I dunno why. 

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4 minutes ago, The Prophet said:

I have a groups that I need to remain part of for work, but regularly contains paranoid, right wing nonsense about the Labour Party, the EU, immigrants, etc. I just keep it on mute and dip in and out when I absolutely need to. It's like a Breitbart echo chamber, I ain't reading that shit.

Yikes, fuck that. I've muted a few that have gone down that path. I don't think this was intentionally bad natured its just shitty and also probably illegal naming some random chick and saying 'SHE's THE ESCORT!'.

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54 minutes ago, ManDoon said:

Does anyone else get bad anxiety from group chats? I have a couple and someone posted a stupidly obviously fake picture of 'escort who's 14 who's pimps tried to extort PL (allegdly) footballer' and I was the only one who was like 'yeah I think this is bullshit' it feels like I'm out of order, but like it's quite clearly victim blaming bullshit 'she looks older than 14!!!' and it's most likely just some random girl. Sometimes I think it's easier to say nothing but then I'm down on myself for not speaking up when I think something is wrong. 

 

Back when I was pissed 24/7 I was part of a Facebook chat with mates and although it was a good laugh I'd end up going on drunken, righteous rants at people for what I'd probably look at now as minor grievances with what someone had said, and leaving the group in a radge.

 

Think the last time I did that was a few months before I packed in drinking and anytime I've thought about asking to go back into the group I've thought it's actually not worth the hassle. I'm happier out of it.

 

Being in the group would lead me back into old behaviours - feeling I had to be constantly hilarious at all times, comparing myself to others, even fear of missing out when they were talking about going out on the piss. 

 

It has meant I've lost touch with quite a few people but tbh that's partly intentional as being around certain people just makes me miss how I was when I drank, and I don't feel like that 99% of the time otherwise. I really tried to make the friendships still work but meeting up made me feel uncomfortable, and that's definitely not their fault and possibly not mine either. 

 

That turned into an essay soz, think I'm just trying to say these groups can be toxic for people mentally, especially when there's conflict. Although there's a balance to be had and I wouldn't necessarily recommend anyone cutting themselves off from almost everyone like I did :lol:

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1 hour ago, AyeDubbleYoo said:

How’s everything going @Ketsbaia?

 

Thanks for asking and remembering :thup:

 

I've been back in London for a week and it's been much better than last time. Whether that's because I have company, anticipated the problem or am on sertraline this time, I don't know. The stress now is deciding what to do from September onwards - I'm getting a redundancy package and intend to move back home, but my girlfriend has a job down here that's about to return to office.

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Great to hear you're doing better Ketsbaia! 

 

As it's been kind of linked to this thread at times, I'll just mention here that I'm 3 years sober from alcohol today. My mental health is better than it's ever been and life is really good today, as long as I keep taking my meds and working the 12 steps. That's not meant as a brag when others are down, but intended as a little message of hope, as there's nowt special about me so if I can do it anyone can. Love all you lads. :smitten:

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I think messages like yourselves Jill, and Interpolic’s in the past where you’ve both talked about recovery or being in a better place are incredibly important. It really helps to inspire hope in people who might be struggling and find it hard to believe that things could be better

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