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Tell a lie....


madras
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So who likes telling fibs and what have you told. I don't mean the "I have never shagged your sister and I'm sure thats just whipped cream on the dogs nose" type fib but the type when you're at work or with mates and tell one just to see if you can pass it off.

 

I told my sister that the film the wizard of oz starts in black and white because colour film was invented 12 days into shooting so thjey just started using it as they couldn't afford to reshoot or have the entire film go out in B&W.

 

I've told many people that the reg no (?) of the starship enterprise was (name 6 no.s) elvis's army no.

 

I told a woman doing a survey in oldham (we won 3-1, birth of the entertainers) my name was jakob hlasek, czech parentage but from blyth and i was in oldham for a football trial.

 

i have often gone by the name philip achio....call me phil.

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I convinced a lovely simple lad once that a random old chap who was watching our uni team play (literally just an old fella with a dog standing behind one of the goals next to a footpath) was actually a former teammate of Maradona who'd been invited specially by our coach.

 

Sticks in my mind because after the initial token scepticism, I merely repeated myself and he completely believed me. Even went round telling everyone else on our team and half of the opposition. Lovely lad, one of my best mates.

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In year ten I managed to convince our history teacher that I was an exchange student named Gerhard from Oberammergau. Kept it going for about a month from memory.

 

From the other side... the old man convinced me when I was about eleven that the whole cast of the Brady Bunch were hardened criminals of varying types. Mike was a paedo, Greg pimped Jan, Alice was an axe murderer, Bobby was a cocaine dealer. Can't remember what the others were supposed to be except for Peter who was the only clean one of the lot.

 

 

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I told my brother that he was adopted because me, mam and dad were all born in February and he was born in July. Also that the 8th July wasn't really his birthday, it was just the day we picked him up from the orphanage and we don't really know what day he was born :lol:

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Told all my college mates that D.C. Thomson & Co had sold the rights of 'Plug' from the Bash Street Kids to Disney, where there would be making a feature length film about the character.

 

Sure I posted it on here too.

 

 

Theres been loads more like, daily, but thats the one that still makes me chuckle.

 

Edit. Found it, haha!

 

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,24471.msg455990.html#msg455990

 

 

Edit. It's not even funny.

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Me and my other brothers and sisters, told our youngest sister, that the reason she had a birth-mark on her face was because she was found in McDonalds bin, and the birth-mark was the result of burgers being thrown against her face.

 

I got told Cliff Richard was my brother, and believed it until I was about 8.

 

We told our idiot brother the supporters changed end at half time aswell.

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In year 10 I told this lass in my history class that the room was haunted. I told her that a carpet fitter fell off his ladders and died. She believed me for months ffs, much to the amusement of people sitting around me. She was dense as f***

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Towards the end of freshers week at uni, I told my mates that I was on Byker Grove for a couple of years.Whenever I see them and we get chatting to anyone else, its one of the first things they mention about me, besides it being complete bullshit. I did try and come clean about it one night but they didn't believe me!

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Me and my other brothers and sisters, told our youngest sister, that the reason she had a birth-mark on her face was because she was found in McDonalds bin, and the birth-mark was the result of burgers being thrown against her face.

 

:lol:

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When some of our junior staff come on to nights with me I tell them that theatre 7 is haunted, to the point that one of the girls won't walk along the corridor in the night. To be fair, we have our suspicions after strange stuff has happened.

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Once convinced a lass I fancied that I was from Malaga (to add a bit of exotic glamour). Of course she asked me to say something in Spanish, so I gambled and said "What do you want me to say?" and won the gamble when she said "Anything." I went with about the only Spanish I knew - "los obreros trabajan en los campos." Had to pretend to be be Spanish for a bit after that.  :lol:

 

Worked with Italian too another time...  :whistle:

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Towards the end of freshers week at uni, I told my mates that I was on Byker Grove for a couple of years.Whenever I see them and we get chatting to anyone else, its one of the first things they mention about me, besides it being complete bullshit. I did try and come clean about it one night but they didn't believe me!

 

You might know Boosden then, the thespian cunt that he is.

 

My dad had me believe his BCG scar was from when he got shot in the war while he captured Hitler, supposedly him and my uncle also had to drag a tank out of the mud, he went along with this too the bastard.

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Convinced a lass that the tattoo on my chest was a prison stamp from when i was jailed for armed robbery at 16.

 

Should've followed it through cos everyone knows chicks dig bad boys.

 

Holy shit.

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