Jump to content

“What mood are you in?”


Beren
 Share

Recommended Posts

5 hours ago, Miercoles said:

My situation isn't even that bad objectively, I mean it's hard, I'm working from home full time and am the primary caregiver for my daughter at the same time, but my daughter is great, marriage is still good, job is cushy if boring as fuck, so I'm not sure why I'm so down about it.

 

I'm sure this is such a common thought process atm man. I'm exactly the same, "I'm okay really, why do I feel so bad". But I think it's important to not try and justify why you feel like you do, but just accept it and try and work out the ways to change it. Which isnt easy. But the most important part is, imo anyway, It's absolutely fine I dont feel great at the minute. I do because I do, accept it. I am "okay". What do I do now though? Because I do want to change this now. Its not out of reach, it's just effort. Which is actually going to be rewarding.

 

 

Edited by Super Duper Branko Strupar

Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Mike said:

Absolutely mental what lawyers charge per hour. :lol:

 

You want a shit one like me! My hourly rate is crap because I'm too lazy to do school. 

 

Also this is very AA of me but I've found the key to finding satisfaction in a fairly mundane life is gratitude for what I have and acceptance that everything is as it's meant to be for me at this moment in time. I'm better off focusing my energy on changing my own attitudes than being frustrated or annoyed by things out of my control. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

On 26/01/2022 at 17:46, Super Duper Branko Strupar said:

 

I'm sure this is such a common thought process atm man. I'm exactly the same, "I'm okay really, why do I feel so bad". But I think it's important to not try and justify why you feel like you do, but just accept it and try and work out the ways to change it. Which isnt easy. But the most important part is, imo anyway, It's absolutely fine I dont feel great at the minute. I do because I do, accept it. I am "okay". What do I do now though? Because I do want to change this now. Its not out of reach, it's just effort. Which is actually going to be rewarding.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for that, I find this kind of stuff really helpful in the day to day. I've been working on recognizing and calling out depressive thinking which has helped also, for example I am quick to fall into the "everything is bad forever" line of thinking when things aren't going well and I have found it really helpful to call myself out on that with a couple of logic questions: 1) Is everything ever anything? 2) Is anything ever forever? Of course the answer to both of those is no, so obviously not everything is bad and nothing lasts forever. It looks kind of silly typed out, but that can help me out of the hole sometimes.

 

Thanks everyone for all the kind words and support, it means a lot.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Magic, great, life falling apart.

 

My wife  has left me and is in the early stages of moving back to NYC with the kids. It was her that convinced me to move us back to Ireland in the first place, I knew she’d hate it here and told her this would happen. Wish we had just stayed put and then separated  as I committed a lot financially here.

 

Now I have to decide whether to stay here or go back to America to get close to the kids. Whatever about the relationship I’m  just dreading my kids going to school now in the New York area. My son is thriving in school here, he loves it but nah off you go to that hardship again. 

My goals completely flipped when I had kids and my sole focus was to give them the best opportunities possible and not care about my own circumstances and it’s driving me mad that she is going to change their lives based on what’s best for her. 
 

I’m not looking for sympathy or suggestions, I just needed to write this down because I’m fucking fed up of talking to a wall here. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just now, CFlan said:

Magic, great, life falling apart.

 

My wife  has left me and is in the early stages of moving back to NYC with the kids. It was her that convinced me to move us back to Ireland in the first place, I knew she’d hate it here and told her this would happen. Wish we had just stayed put and then separated  as I committed a lot financially here.

 

Now I have to decide whether to stay here or go back to America to get close to the kids. Whatever about the relationship I’m  just dreading my kids going to school now in the New York area. My son is thriving in school here, he loves it but nah off you go to that hardship again. 

My goals completely flipped when I had kids and my sole focus was to give them the best opportunities possible and not care about my own circumstances and it’s driving me mad that she is going to change their lives based on what’s best for her. 
 

I’m not looking for sympathy or suggestions, I just needed to write this down because I’m fucking fed up of talking to a wall here. 

Ah, sorry to learn of this pal, no easy solution either way, I hope yous can resolve things and can move on together and if not still all remain happy, thoughts with you fella, hoping things end up all good for you!

Link to post
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, CFlan said:

Magic, great, life falling apart.

 

My wife  has left me and is in the early stages of moving back to NYC with the kids. It was her that convinced me to move us back to Ireland in the first place, I knew she’d hate it here and told her this would happen. Wish we had just stayed put and then separated  as I committed a lot financially here.

 

Now I have to decide whether to stay here or go back to America to get close to the kids. Whatever about the relationship I’m  just dreading my kids going to school now in the New York area. My son is thriving in school here, he loves it but nah off you go to that hardship again. 

My goals completely flipped when I had kids and my sole focus was to give them the best opportunities possible and not care about my own circumstances and it’s driving me mad that she is going to change their lives based on what’s best for her. 
 

I’m not looking for sympathy or suggestions, I just needed to write this down because I’m fucking fed up of talking to a wall here. 

 

Sorry to hear that, man. I hope for everyone's sake some common ground can be found to make all lives easier. Keep talking too.

Link to post
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

:lol: Gastric bypass surgery may be off because I answered the psych questions honestly. They want me to sort out my mental health and try again in a few months. Only been trying 41 years. Gonna try fasting again. Doing a 72 hour to see if I've still got it.

 

Dropped 5k on a lawyer to sort out this family shit, and apartment hunting is fucking exhausting.

 

Workers comp hasn't paid me since November despite jumping through all their hoops. Fortunately that lawyer costs nowt.

 

Been sleeping about 2 hours a night these past few weeks. :lol: Fucking desperate for a win somewhere.

Link to post
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Mike said:

:lol: Gastric bypass surgery may be off because I answered the psych questions honestly. They want me to sort out my mental health and try again in a few months. Only been trying 41 years. Gonna try fasting again. Doing a 72 hour to see if I've still got it.

 

Dropped 5k on a lawyer to sort out this family shit, and apartment hunting is fucking exhausting.

 

Workers comp hasn't paid me since November despite jumping through all their hoops. Fortunately that lawyer costs nowt.

 

Been sleeping about 2 hours a night these past few weeks. :lol: Fucking desperate for a win somewhere.

 

Sorry, you're having to deal with all this bullshit. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, AyeDubbleYoo said:

Extremely relieved, my Mam had a bit of a health scare but got the all-clear today. And maybe completing on my new flat next week. Some kind of stress lifting at last. 

Good news Ian, hope everything goes well for you.
 

My mood, I missed the post for my heart monitor thing today that I’m meant to be wearing over the weekend, I want it done and dusted for some results!

Link to post
Share on other sites

In a bit of a fucking nightmare and not really sure I should share this but I keep typing it out and panicking at the last moment but fuck I need to get it out somewhere and twitter is too much exposure. The old maw broke her shoulder just after Christmas, and lent on me for help. Was fair enough, apart from the fact she refused to go to hospital all week. As a retired nurse, who the fuck was I to tell her she was wrong, insistent that her shoulder could not be broken. Either way, a week of absolute fucking mayhem for her at home as a kidney infection returned and she seemed to lose all grip on reality, phone calls in the middle of the night/morning (similar to last time) asking why I wasn't there (it was like 3 or 4 in the morning), often turning up to the front door being wide open and, well, a lot of other stuff that'll never leave me and just cannot share. It resulted in her ending up at hospital just after new year. In for a week and out hoping all was better, although we had an appointment for her at the Beatson center but that predated the accident and scheduled after an endoscopy she had to check for problems, assured at the time she was fine. Two weeks forward, the appointment and assumption that this was merely some rubber stamping 'you're fine' waste of time, and they out of nowhere tell us she might have some myeloma bullshit, which was only discovered because of the broken shoulder hospital visit. Two days before her 80th an all. Bone marrow biopsy to confirm 23rd.

 

So seeing as it was an especially gut punching moment and I'm not really equipped to see my mother out in her final years, what with frequent hospital visits and I don't drive let alone have a car or afford the constant taxis, I reached out to my estranged brother and sisters for help. Cut a long story short, no help coming, 'she made her bed' etc. I've mentioned these people before. Different father to me, and scum of the earth as far as I'm concerned now. What the fuck is family? 

 

I never support any one here, so I apologise for dumping this here, but it might explain future absences. Could quite happily jump in the Clyde and not resist, that's not a threat or anything, but nothing ever gets better. Only worse.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's shit Bluf but there is help out there. Get in touch with Macmillan and they can point you in the direction of it. They have a team to help you get all the help you are entitled to from additional payments to blue badges etc. They will be able to give you all the information about what your mum is entitled to, not saying it will be enough but start there mate. The hospital that was treating mum they had an office on site but  there will be a number you can call too. 

 

 

Edited by Si

Link to post
Share on other sites

It was something my sister said, 'always feeling sorry for yourself'. Which is funny, cause it was the first time I spoke to her in 5 years. I don't know if she was right or not but it's certainly had an insane effect my willingness to share anything at all. Like I said in the pet hates thread, I get into this extremely anxious state whenever I post anything now. Nearly deleted my account here not so long back for no other reason than to stop myself posting about, well, I guess myself. I think it hurts cause I fucking admired them, loved being brought up by my sisters specifically, they were cool, thought it was special, always wanted to turn into them essentially. Sadly, never matched up but I just am bewildered. And I swear to god I've never encountered such indifference to the suffering of a family member ever, like families I've seen in the worst areas of Glasgow, assumed scum of the earth types look out for their own more than these bastards, not trying to judge these families or anything, playing on stereotypes I suppose.

 

Anyway, I'll leave it there. Thanks for that advice, and it could still go the better of two ways. And I can't stop apologising these days, so, sorry again.  

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...