Jump to content

Best man speech


indi
 Share

Recommended Posts

Gotta write one for my brother's wedding, anyone got any tips?

 

Judging by the ones that are labelled as being "great" or "amazing" or whatever on youtube are fucking awful.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Went pretty canny actually, what we thought was our best joke was about Champ Man though, so only about 5% of the room got it :lol:

 

Tell it! I want to hear, so do the other nerds who haven't piped up yet

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thinking about having a best bird. Dunno if the missus'll go for it.

 

I had one. My wife was really suspicious before they met each other because I had known the best woman for years and years, but it went beautifully.

 

She's actually from Stakeford, but has lived in Scotland for years. She finished with a Robbie Burns poem, and there wasn't a dry eye in the hoose house.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Went pretty canny actually, what we thought was our best joke was about Champ Man though, so only about 5% of the room got it :lol:

 

Tell it! I want to hear, so do the other nerds who haven't piped up yet

 

Well firstly all our jokes were very specific to him (99.9% of best man jokes you find on the internet are shit, as we discovered) and I've now told you the punchline anyway, but it was something like

 

"And we hear there might even be a youngster on the way... He's just started scouting a 15-year-old from Lille on Champ Man"

 

Of course we just said the first bit and all the great aunts and uncles thought we were being serious and drowned the punchline out with excited whooping.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Went pretty canny actually, what we thought was our best joke was about Champ Man though, so only about 5% of the room got it :lol:

 

Tell it! I want to hear, so do the other nerds who haven't piped up yet

 

Well firstly all our jokes were very specific to him (99.9% of best man jokes you find on the internet are s***, as we discovered) and I've now told you the punchline anyway, but it was something like

 

"And we hear there might even be a youngster on the way... He's just started scouting a 15-year-old from Lille on Champ Man"

 

Of course we just said the first bit and all the great aunts and uncles thought we were being serious and drowned the punchline out with excited whooping.

 

:lol:

 

I love inside jokes like that, but i'd hate it in a best man speech too :/

Link to post
Share on other sites

Guest BooBoo

I did one a few summers back. I deliberately stayed away from anything rude (knew the lads family too well plus my folks were there!) and anything of a 'you had to be there' nature. The only thing I picked up from the net was a structure which worked quite well.

 

1. Opening anecdote about how you and the groom know each other. Try to get a joke in there somewhere as once you get your first laugh, your confidence will soar and any nerves will go.

 

2. Maybe one or two short tales of your adventures over the years.

 

3. Story about how the bride and groom met.

 

4. Sincere tribute to bride and groom.

 

5. Toasts including to bridesmaids if not already mentioned. Don't replicate a toast if the father of the bride has already made one.

 

6. End on a laugh if you can.

 

Keep it 10-15 minutes. Nobody's expecting hilarity and aiming for mildly amusing is a far safer bet unless you're convinced by your own comic talents. If you know your audience then they'll be willing you on and will laugh at anything!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ours was easy, because we'd had 15 years of the groom coming out with utterly ridiculous lies and tall tales, so most of it was just telling them, but more general stuff we did was

 

"It's usually tradition for the best man's speech to try to embarrass the groom by listing all the stupid things he's done and ridiculous situations he's gotten himself into. So..."

 

At that point we produced a huge comedy scroll we'd made out of decorators backing paper and a broom handle, held it up as if to read from it and let it unfurl and roll all the way down the aisle.

 

"When they made xxx, they threw away the mould.  However, as you can see, most of it has grown back."

 

"I'd like to raise a toast"  (both held up pieces of toast)

 

There was loads of it, but most of it was puns on his name, stories about stuff he'd done or taking the piss out of his quirks, think you've really got to be able to tailor it to them because if you just try and piece it together from suggestions on websites etc it's just cheesy generic stuff.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Apart from all the obvious stuff like saying how the bride is beautiful etc, we tried to balance it by saying one positive thing to every piss-taking thing.  Bluest we got was going from saying how important family was to him to saying "We know this, because once when we were playing golf he loudly proclaimed "Oh no, I've just blown me pa".

Link to post
Share on other sites

Guest guinness_fiend

I opted for http://www.thebestmanspeech.com.  It has hundreds of lines and structures to crib and at a tenner for the password, it's a very good starter for ten.

 

If nothing else, it'll take the edge off the whole thing.  It's not rocket science: Stand up.  Take the piss out of everyone.  Take the piss out of the groom worse.  Thank the essentials.  Toast.  Sit down.  Get drunk.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you got any ideas for one so far Indi?

 

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure that they're s****. :(

 

Sure they won't be man.

 

Bluestar's stealing all the limelight here, albeit with decent stuff to twock  O0

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...