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Professional Anger Management - Does It Work?


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I've Google searched (this site) for a thread on this. Apologies if one exists.

 

Professional Anger Management.

 

Does anyone have any experience of this?

 

Does it work?

 

Have you had a dangerous temper and been cured?

 

Is there a happy ending?

 

I need to address things as I'm becoming more and more dangerous. I DO NOT mean that in a "I'm a hard cunt" way. I mean that in a sincere and terrified way.

 

It's pretty much killing me and I worry about others.

 

Enough's enough. But I don't know where to start. Doctor's?

 

Any serious thoughts and input would be massively appreciated.

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I've had problems with my temper all my life. Always had a tendency to react/throw things/shout out in rage before taking a moment to assess the situation and react appropriately. It's actually got a lot better as I've got older but I'm still prone to "outbursts" of anger. I've lost count of the number of things I've broken/smashed in a split second of rage before immediately regretting it, yet I still struggle at times to do the whole "count to ten" thing.

 

It's really weird because I can generally control myself well around strangers/people who are only acquaintances, but my closest family/friends will occasionally see me in a right temper and bear the brunt.

 

It's one of the reasons I've never wanted to have kids, tbh. Would hate to think how I'd react to a screaming baby (for example).

 

Never thought about seeking help. I did buy a book once about anger management but I found all of the scenarios described totally stupid and it just became a farce when I flew off the handle once and my lad just stood there and said "WHERE'S THE BOOK???" I found it infuriating at the time, but later quite hilarious.

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It's definitely something people need to sort out if it's a problem, in my opinion. It's such a useless and potentially destructive emotion. However it does give people a sense of having dealt with something by just getting angry, which means it can be a habit that gets worse as they erroneously reinforce it themselves.

 

My girlfriend is fucking ludicrous for it. Like absolutely ridiculous. It's infuriating for other people to be around as it's just so illogical. No one cares about your anger but you. It's also generally really bad for your health.

 

Get it sorted.

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Like most things, simply talking  about it can help, whether that be a best mate or a counsellor - each to their own. Even posting it here is a massive step i reckon, but it's important to follow through and get to the root of it from my own experiences :thup:

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me and my mrs. are interesting, she can't let some things go without losing her rag and screaming at me...usually i don't know what's going on and now know enough to ride the storm and come out the other side...happens rarely but for her it's a release thing, builds up and she has to explode, she can't let things go until the release

 

i'm the opposite, daily things don't bother me at all....i'm as placid as fuck but something will happen and i'll momentarily explode either internally or mildly externally and then that's it for me back to normal...never more than a second or two and never violent

 

in short i think it's a natural thing, in fact a good thing, unless you can't control it in which case seek help urgently

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Thanks all. I know I need to find help.

 

I guess the doctor is the first step. I'll make an appointment, pronto.

 

My temper is off the scale but things that I can keep my cool over surprise others. Things I crack over are so fine lined. But I hide absolutely nothing when I crack in the real world. I never bite my tongue, really. And I should.

 

I was always bad tempered/hot headed. From birth. But it's gotten worse and worse and now I have kids...the danger can't be ignored any more. And it's not a "just grow the f*** up" sort of thing. I've told myself that far too many times. I'm calm moments after...but the people around are effected for a long long time. I can take it in my stride, obviously, but others can't and can't be expected to.

 

Basically...it's unacceptable.

 

I'm such a loving, gentle and creative person underneath this anger. It's ruining my life and I'm sure others here are finding this with themselves.

 

Scared of horrible drugs being subscribed but also very weary of the "count to 10" bollocks.

 

Gimp: I clicked on that link expecting another "count to 10" load of crap. But it doesn't and the last 2 paras on that page ring so true. Going to digest it, now. :thup:

 

Tbf, since i left work..ive been much better...makes you wonder.

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Talk to your Doctor and see if they can refer you to anybody. I'd be weary of self help books until you understand a bit more about your own specifics.

 

Absolutely this. I think it's far more likely you'll succeed if you at least bounce things off a professional first.

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Not sure the "count to 10" stuff is bollocks, especially given the amount of times that people do stupid things and then immediately regret it.

 

Not that much anger in me nowadays really, apart from when the missus decides to do things that are counter-productive to my OCD organization of some things. I'll probably just off her one day, and then even though I'll be doomed to a life alone, everything will be awesome, because my cutlery will be arranged perfectly. :smug:

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I've never really had anger issues, but I do find myself getting irritated by little things, like a bag getting caught on something, or something constantly being in the way, and when a number of these things happen in quick succession I find myself almost boiling up inside to the point where I sometimes mutter to myself that I'm gonna smash something. Funnily enough that process seems to serve to calm me down, as I've never actually smashed or thrown anything, I seem to just breathe and then be alright. Even with good old FIFA rage, it's made me really bloody fuming, and I'll swear at the screen etc, but I've never lost control to the extent that I've broken a pad/screen/window/someones face. I guess the whole taking a deep breath works enough for me to compose myself.

 

Hope you get somewhere with it, being open to trying things to address the issue is a good start.

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Thing is, Sy... This is not so subconscious that you can't change this yourself. Yes, definitely go to a professional, but all they'll do is convince you that the way you are dealing with things is currently wrong. In their professional way, obviously.

 

Somewhere along the line you have decided this is how you're going to react, and you have this so engrained that you can't seem to stop this. You decided to act like this, though. There isn't another person in your head forcing you to be angry and you aren't incapable of deciding you're wrong. Problem is, if you do it yourself, it's a long, hard, lonely road.

 

Hope you feel better soon :thup:

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Thing is, Sy... This is not so subconscious that you can't change this yourself. Yes, definitely go to a professional, but all they'll do is convince you that the way you are dealing with things is currently wrong. In their professional way, obviously.

 

Somewhere along the line you have decided this is how you're going to react, and you have this so engrained that you can't seem to stop this. You decided to act like this, though. There isn't another person in your head forcing you to be angry and you aren't incapable of deciding you're wrong. Problem is, if you do it yourself, it's a long, hard, lonely road.

 

Hope you feel better soon :thup:

 

That ticks loads of boxes for me.

 

I wouldn't consider myself violent or violent towards other people, i do have a moment of rage and then its gone.

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Hey Sy, bold of you to be so open about it. Truth is we all get angry sometimes mate. But sometimes what might seem like anger might be caused by something else like depression or anxiety, so seeing someone like your doctor for a quick chat may not be all that bad an idea. When you say 'angry' though, do you mean like flipping out like this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy-UvsYRXPE

 

Or just occasionally losing your cool because you're surrounded by total emotionally dead and unintelligent arseholes at work/home/elsewhere? :)

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Both. :(

 

Falling Down is immense.

 

I live near (and shop in) Consett. So there's a very high concentration of your "total emotionally dead and unintelligent arseholes" :lol: Seriously is :(

 

I'm surrounded by the inconsiderate.

 

I don't want to mention precise situations as someone will read it the wrong way and not offer the advice I need :lol: But needless to say...it's very destructive...and both physical and emotional levels.

 

But I never ever instigate situations. I just handle them full-blown, now. I used to have a short fuse. I no longer have one. Un-fucking-bearable.

 

I'm either going to kill someone or be killed myself. Seriously. But you probably would never think that of me if you met me. Because I'm basically a lovely bloke. Sounds dumb...I know :(

 

It's why I'm addressing it. Talking here isn't as dumb as it may seem, either. I'm just trying to talk about it everywhere in case something clicks from other people. I'm letting everyone I know I have a problem.

 

At the moment it's mostly just me and my eldest (4). And I don't want her to see this. My language is disgusting, too. It makes me sound dumb when I'm not.

 

Depression and anxiety is something I'm no longer willing to dismiss. Good points :thup:

 

I'll be ringing the Doc's in the morning. Start the ball rolling with the official route.

 

Our respective stories aren't too dissimilar by the sounds of it. I'm trying CBT as a way to manage my gremlins: anxiety and an overactive, oversensitive mind which makes my life more complicated and distressing than it already is.

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Ooh...sounds interesting. Is this given by a 3rd party? Googled CBT to see what it is.

 

How are you finding it?

 

Too early to say, mate. I've only just had my first discussion with the consultant, but I'm happy to keep you posted.

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  • 11 months later...

I'm going to see a doc on Saturday about anger.

 

I'm generally not angry, in fact I'm a happy and gentle daft c***, but, drunkenly, lost my rag at my girlfriend the other night, and don't remember really what it was about because we were drunk, but I hoyed my laptop off the wall. Which obviously scared her.

 

And I do go in irrational strops every now and again.

 

To show her she can trust me, I said I'd speak to a doctor - and we're both going on Saturday. I'm nervous.

 

I am certain that not getting mortal will be the solution to this issue, and have said I'm not going to drink for the foreseeable, and when I do just stick to a few beers, but I figure I should go and make the effort any how.

 

No idea what to expect.

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I hardly ever get angry, and I've never been in a relationship that's involved arguments. Kind of wish I did TBH, not sure if it's a lack of strong feelings about things or just that I don't express them in that way. Possibly should be getting stuff out more.

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I hardly ever get angry, and I've never been in a relationship that's involved arguments. Kind of wish I did TBH, not sure if it's a lack of strong feelings about things or just that I don't express them in that way. Possibly should be getting stuff out more.

 

Now thats strange because you seem to insight a right few arguments on here  :lol: although you never seem to get phased by it

 

You're just a chilled out guy :thup:

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