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Divorce


WhatTheFunk
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Sorry to hear that mate.  Never even been married myself, but I hope it all goes smoothly.

 

Not turned out as easy as I thought. It was my decision to divorce, but the bird's family are giving me a hard time re settlement and all. They basically want money I don't even have.

 

I wouldn't say, don't ever get married....but even after 3 and a half yrs together, it still wasnt enough getting to know the person. Was only married for about 6 months of that time.

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Anyone here been divorced?

 

I'm going through that currently....

 

What's the craic? What should I expect?

 

If you're lucky, and it's amicable, then expect unbelievable pain and mental anguish over the next few months.

 

If you're unlucky, and it's not amicable in the slightest, expect the above, but add bankruptcy, depression and an unquenchable thirst for murder.

 

Best of luck mate.

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Anyone here been divorced?

 

I'm going through that currently....

 

What's the craic? What should I expect?

 

If you're lucky, and it's amicable, then expect unbelievable pain and mental anguish over the next few months.

 

If you're unlucky, and it's not amicable in the slightest, expect the above, but add bankruptcy, depression and an unquenchable thirst for murder.

 

Best of luck mate.

 

Tallest building in the Toon is?

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Anyone here been divorced?

 

I'm going through that currently....

 

What's the craic? What should I expect?

 

If you're lucky, and it's amicable, then expect unbelievable pain and mental anguish over the next few months.

 

If you're unlucky, and it's not amicable in the slightest, expect the above, but add bankruptcy, depression and an unquenchable thirst for murder.

 

Best of luck mate.

 

Tallest building in the Toon is?

 

Don't even joke about it. bluebigeek.gif

 

There's life after divorce. And likely it will be a FAR FAR better life, so chin up, and face the storm head on mate. You'll be alright. :thup:

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Anyone here been divorced?

 

I'm going through that currently....

 

What's the craic? What should I expect?

 

If you're lucky, and it's amicable, then expect unbelievable pain and mental anguish over the next few months.

 

If you're unlucky, and it's not amicable in the slightest, expect the above, but add bankruptcy, depression and an unquenchable thirst for murder.

 

Best of luck mate.

 

Tallest building in the Toon is?

 

Don't even joke about it. bluebigeek.gif

 

There's life after divorce. And likely it will be a FAR FAR better life, so chin up, and face the storm head on mate. You'll be alright. :thup:

 

No you're right. It's nothing to joke about. I'm already feeling a lot happier than I did during the marriage, and I can see that I will be much better off for it in the future. It's just that I was hoping we'd solve it amicably and move on.

 

It was my fault, as I had doubts about our compatibility, and her character (or lack of). I still went ahead with it hoping things would change.

 

Not done anything wrong, either side. Just something that didn't work out. She's heartbroken, but I know she'll get over it.

 

Ridzuan, I'm getting divorced, not my parents mate.

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I take it you're divorced GM? or are close to someone who is?

 

Funnily enough, never been married, never been divorced. Did have a belter of a break-up with a long-term girlfriend about 7 years ago though, full of recrimination, very bitter and got exceptionally nasty when it came to divvying up stuff we'd bought for the house etc.

 

I just used that particular experience as a yardstick mate, felt like a divorce at the time. Got over it, and you will too. :thup:

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i got married at 20 and got divorced at 22.. we both had no claims, so we just signed the papers and that was it.. of course, we didn't have any kids or common possessions so that made it easier.. come to think about it, i was broke as a *** at the time..

anyways, cheer up, mate.. things just didn't work out for ya.. try your best not to get carried away by the sad thoughts and memories, cause probably this is for the best.. indeed there's life after divorce

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Who's asking you for money T4L?

 

Her parents. She's been marginalised, as she's apparently "in shock", and isn't stable enough to talk to me.

 

It's turned into a really sour situation, and a lot of false hurtful shit has been said to me, and i'm being blamed entirely for the whole fiasco.

 

I had warned her throughout our relationship that I wasn't happy, and wasn;t sure, and that it wasn't working. We'd reach breakpoint, but she'd always cry and promise to change, and promise to start supporting the relationship (she's VERY dependent), and doing her bit.

 

Something went off in my brain a few weeks back and I just decided I'd had enough, and it was better to stop it now as there were no children involved, and no property to split. Plus we hadn't yet had the big church wedding/reception gig etc...

 

I could have very easily carried on with it, and continued to hope that things would change....but I realised that I don't even love her as a wife anymore. I'm 27, and I've got my whole life ahead. Fuck it.

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i got married at 20 and got divorced at 22.. we both had no claims, so we just signed the papers and that was it.. of course, we didn't have any kids or common possessions so that made it easier.. come to think about it, i was broke as a *** at the time..

anyways, cheer up, mate.. things just didn't work out for ya.. try your best not to get carried away by the sad thoughts and memories, cause probably this is for the best.. indeed there's life after divorce

 

Cheers junky  :thup:

 

The sad thing is that the way the situation's going now, will sour whatever good memories there were. I just hate courts and lawyers.

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Don't give them/her or anybody any money.

 

I won't. Soon as they heard, they decided to appeal the divorce. She's got no chance against me as I'm the one who filed, and she has nothing to prove or whatever.

 

At first I was willingly offering some money to help her go back to canada and stand on her feet a little bit. I didn't love her anymore, but I still care about her being able to support herself till she could start her life again. I was laughed at. So now they can fuck right off, and will end up with nowt.

 

 

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Guest Gemmill

Don't give them/her or anybody any money.

 

If there's not a lot involved and it's easier, I would hand over some cash tbh.  Weigh up the amount of happiness you could derive from whatever money is involved with the amount of heartache you'll create for yourself by withholding the money, and make your decision on that basis.  Don't make decisions based on principle, make them based on what's best for your own sanity.

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sounds to me you're doing the right thing, but you should have that serious conversation with your wife.. no parents, no crying, no hysteria bullshit and that.. just explain her why you're doing this, if she has any respect for you, she'll understand..

i know, these forum advices are worth shit, but the ultimate thing is to sort things out face to face with your wife..

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All circumstances are different but ultimately all lead to the same thing which is turmoil and heartache.  Never been divorced but then I've a little girl and I thinks she's the one that keeps me and Mam together in reality. No matter, what I do know is my parent divorce went through a few months ago and it was a pretty awful experience. Wish I could tell you that it was OK and they split everything up no probs but I recall issues around property (sorry can't recalll if your mail said you had pruchased the house - if not then that is a big bonus chap).  You basically got to look at it this way fella.......be prepared to split EVERYTHING dtraight down the middle, 50/50. That's where you gotta start.  You need to get onto solicitor as they are integral part of proceedings (robbing b*st*rds also - sorry).  Thinks of and declare (tbh) any policies, endowments, penisions, etc coz any that they unearth that you have not declared can haunt you later in life (you may wish to take a chance though?) It's all still very fresh so happy to offer my advice chap should you have any other questions.  Good luck and keep us informed.  :thup:

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Guest Gemmill

My mam and dad got divorced with very little hassle but it's because they dealt with each other directly and honestly and just got on with doing it with as little hassle as possible for the sake of me and my sister.  I can't help but wonder whether T4L's wife really wants all the added grief that her family seem to be stirring up.  They probably think they're doing it in her best interests but if you could talk to her direct you might find that she's not behind all of the shitstorm.  The fewer external interests there are in all of it, the better.

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