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N-O Forum Awards 2015: The Results

Kaizero

by Kaizero
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Kaizero

Kaizero

Posted
Posted

Hello and welcome to the results of the 2015 Newcastle-Online Forum Awards.

 

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Without further ado, here are the winners:

 

Best Football Poster:

 

Wullie

34 (35.4%)

Disco

24 (25%)

Village Idiot

15 (15.6%)

Kanji

12 (12.5%)

Unbelievable!

11 (11.5%)

 

 

 

Worst Football Poster:

 

The College Dropout

61 (53%)

Cronky

24 (20.9%)

KaKa

17 (14.8%)

Stifler

8 (7%)

ElCid

5 (4.3%)

 

 

 

Best Chat Poster:

 

Mike

24 (31.6%)

Interpolic

19 (25%)

NorthernGimp

15 (19.7%)

Hans

11 (14.5%)

Kaizero

7 (9.2%)

 

 

Worst Chat Poster:

 

Noodles

27 (29.3%)

Kid Icarus

22 (23.9%)

Toondave

17 (18.5%)

Ronaldo & Stifler

13 (14.1%) & 13 (14.1%)

 

 

Best Games Poster:

 

Andy

16 (31.4%)

Coco

12 (23.5%)

OpenC

11 (21.6%)

Mike

6 (11.8%)

Mole_Toonfan

5 (9.8%)

Willow

1 (2%)

 

 

Best Foreigner:

 

Mike

34 (35.1%)

giphy.gif

Thomas

26 (26.8%)

Deuce

19 (19.6%)

Kaizero

18 (18.6%)

 

 

Best Newcomer:

 

Nattfare

24 (36.9%)

Altamullan

23 (35.4%)

Marmoset

10 (15.4%)

xLiaamx

8 (12.3%)

 

 

Best Non-Toon Poster:

 

Village Idiot

29 (30.2%)

Brummie

28 (29.2%)

Leffe

18 (18.8%)

Neil

11 (11.5%)

Froggy

10 (10.4%)

 

 

Best Overall Poster:

 

Dave

23 (25.8%)

Interpolic

20 (22.5%)

Wullie

17 (19.1%)

Disco

16 (18%)

Mike

13 (14.6%)

 

 

Most Boring Poster:

 

The College Dropout

38 (39.6%)

Ronaldo

18 (18.8%)

Kid Icarus

17 (17.7%)

Toondave

15 (15.6%)

Stifler

8 (8.3%)

 

 

Funniest Poster:

 

Northerngimp

23 (25.3%)

giphy.gif

TaylorJ_01

18 (19.8%)

Hans

17 (18.7%)

SEMTEX

13 (14.3%)

Thomas

12 (13.2%)

Mike

8 (8.8%)

 

 

Most Improved Poster:

 

Ian W

35 (36.5%)

Mrmojorisin75

23 (24%)

Lush Vlad

21 (21.9%) 

Triggs

12 (12.5%)

Beren

5 (5.2%)

 

 

Most Deteriorated Poster:

 

Kid Icarus

33 (36.3%)

giphy.gif

The College Dropout

25 (27.5%)

Ronaldo

13 (14.3%)

Ponsaelius

12 (13.2%)

Branko

8 (8.8%)

 

 

Most Overrated Poster:

 

Ronaldo

32 (32.3%)

Kid Icarus

29 (29.3%)

Kanji

20 (20.2%)

Mole_Toonfan

10 (10.1%)

Dave

8 (8.1%)

 

 

Most Underrated Poster:

 

B-More Mag

28 (29.8%)

Jill

23 (24.5%)

Mrmojorisin75

16 (17%)

Deuce

11 (11.7%)

Shak

9 (9.6%)

Newsted

7 (7.4%)

 

 

Poster You Wish Would Come Back/Post More Often:

 

Rich

63 (61.8%)

giphy.gif

Bimpy & Wormy

13 (12.7%) & 13 (12.7%)

ChezGiven

8 (7.8%)

LBW

5 (4.9%)

 

 

Poster You'd Most Like to Meet:

 

Mike

34 (36.2%)

giphy.gif

Interpolic

20 (21.3%)

Hans

16 (17%)

Ronaldo

14 (14.9%)

Kaizero

10 (10.6%)

 

 

Poster You'd Least Like to Meet:

 

Mr. Snrub

30 (33%)

Ronaldo

24 (26.4%)

The College Dropout

16 (17.6%)

Kid Icarus

14 (15.4%)

Stifler

7 (7.7%)

 

 

Best Football Thread:

 

Hatem Ben Arfa of OGC Nice and France

28 (32.6%)

tumblr_msff5cROAz1sn7k9qo1_400.gif

The Wonderful Work of David Squires

23 (26.7%)

Image of the Week

13 (15.1%)

The Other Games Today

12 (14%)

Crystal Palace Manager

10 (11.6%)

 

 

Best Chat Thread:

 

Some More Vaguely Amusing Internet Jocularity

52 (64.2%)

giphy.gif

NFL 2015

24 (29.6%)

Comic Books/Comic Movies/Godawful CW shows Thread

5 (6.2%)

 

 

Best Thread Started in 2015:

 

The Wonderful Work of David Squires

35 (39.8%)

Brutal Posts

21 (23.9%)

NFL 2015

18 (20.5%)

Image of the Week

14 (15.9%)

 

 

Best Post of the Year:

 

TCD Statistics

32 (33.7%)

Gimps SJP Shoe

24 (25.3%)

I wonder where she is now...

16 (16.8%)

McClaren during his hollandaise

10 (10.5%)

Punched Lasagna

9 (9.5%)

Handwriting Shoe

4 (4.2%)

 

 

Most Brutal Post of the Year:

 

Wullie mauling TCD

31 (32.6%)

TCD Statistics

26 (27.4%)

Interstellar 3/5

13 (13.7%)

Says a man who soils himself

12 (12.6%)

Only interested in being friends

8 (8.4%)

Take some more black and white photos of yourself

5 (5.3%)

 

 

The Planet Soft Cunt Award:

 

Kid Icarus

24 (28.9%)

KaKa

21 (25.3%)

Ronaldo

18 (21.7%)

Stifler

11 (13.3%)

Ope

9 (10.8%)

 

 

The Donald Trump Award:

 

Ronaldo

24 (26.7%)

giphy.gif

The College Dropout

20 (22.2%)

Toondave

19 (21.1%)

Beren

16 (17.8%)

Stifler

11 (12.2%)

 

 

Poster You Wish Would Get in the Sea:

 

The College Dropout

30 (30.9%)

giphy.gif

Ronaldo

21 (21.6%)

Kid Icarus

20 (20.6%)

Cronky

14 (14.4%)

Toondave

12 (12.4%)

 

 

The Jon Lockwood Award for Outstanding Long-Term Achievement:

 

Mike

27 (26.2%)

giphy.gif

Disco

26 (25.2%)

Beren

23 (22.3%)

SEMTEX

15 (14.6%)

Kaizero

12 (11.7%)

 

 

And that brings this year to a close. Congratulations to all the winners...

 

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...and see you all next year!

 

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Kaizero

Kaizero

Posted
Posted

For posterity, all the nominees were:

 

 

 

Best Football Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Football Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Disco (15), Kanji (5), Unbelivable! (5), Village Idiot (6) & Wullie (14)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

4 Nominations:

Dave

 

3 Nominations:

Mrmojorisin75

Brummie

 

2 Nominations:

Incognito

Tooj

Ponsaelius

Lush Vlad

Ian W

 

1 Nomination:

Neil

HTT

Doug

Mole_Toonfan

WarrenBarton

Leffe

Interpolic

Triggs

Gallowgate Toon

Scoot

South Tynedale Mag

Mick

Optimistic Nut

Midds

Ronaldo

Heza09

Ian W

Magpie

Froggy

 

 

 

Worst Football Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Worst Football Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Cronky(4), ElCid (4), Kaka (5), Stifler (5) & The College Dropout (22)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

 

3 Nominations:

Ronaldo

Slim

Ope

 

2 Nominations:

HTT

Foluwashola

BrettNUFC

xLiaamx

 

1 Nomination:

Roger Kint

Twinport53

Incognito

James

Triggs

Magpie1982

Ujpezt Doza

SEMTEX

Nobody

Deuce

Astroblack

Sempuki

Unbelievable

Jotenko

Jackyboy

Froggy

Kid Icarus

Mozy

ilikenewcastle

Bimpy

Goerdiedean

 

 

Best Chat Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Chat Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Hans (9), Interpolic (12), Mike (9), NothernGimp (5) & Kaizero (5)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

4 Nominations:

Thomas

Froggy

SEMTEX

 

3 Nominations:

Mrmojorisin75

Beren

BlufPurdi

 

2 Nominations:

Kid Icarus

Incognito

Deuce

Disco

 

1 Nomination:

Bowlingcrofty

Shay's Given Tim Flowers

Thomson Mouse

QuakesMag

Jill

TaylorJ_01

GM

Sima

Troll

Neesy

Lenny

BlueStar

Dave

 

 

Worst Chat Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Worst Chat Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Kid Icarus (7), Noodles (5), Ronaldo (5), Stifler (8) & Toondave (10)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

4 Nominations:

Slim

 

3 Nominations:

The College Dropout

Froggy

Branko

Taxfree

Micktoon

 

2 Nominations:

Khay

Mr. Logic

 

1 Nomination:

Colinmk

Ponsaelius

Northumbrian

Parky

George Costanza

Mr Snrub

CaliMag

BrettNUFC

QuakesMag

Juniatmoko

Kimbo

Roger Kint

SEMTEX

 

 

Best Games Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Games Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Andy (7), Coco (3), Mike (8), Mole_Toonfan (4), OpenC (5) & Willow (3)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Froggy

 

1 Nomination:

Ope

Nicky

Kaizero

Tooj

Optimistic Nut

Maze

Hans

Toons Taylor

 

 

Best Foreigner:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Foreigner" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Deuce (8), Kaizero (12), Mike (12) & Thomas (6)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

5 Nominations:

Village Idiot 

Nobody

Bmore-Mag

Unbelievable

Kanji

 

2 Nominations:

TaylorJ_01

Froggy

 

1 Nomination:

Raconteur

Cubaricho

Felipao

QuakesMag

Pata

SEMTEX

Toon Hoser

Beren

Jotenko

Ameritoon

 

 

Best Newcomer:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Newcomer" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Altamullan (7), Marmoset (4), Nattfare (7), xLiaamx (4)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

1 Nomination:

Jaqen

ilikenewcastle

Gino

Collage

Janmaat's Hair

UU:::::::::::::::: D~~~~

Big Vern

Figures 1-0 Football

 

 

Best Non-Toon Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Non-Toon Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Brummie (13), Froggy (10), Leffe (13), Neil (12) & Village Idiot (13)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

7 Nominations:

Mike

 

2 Nominations:

Wacko

Stray Mackem

 

1 Nomination:

hithere

Felipao

 

 

Best Overall Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Overall Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Dave (8), Disco (9), Interpolic (9), Mike (7) & Wullie (7)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

6 Nominations:

Hans

 

5 Nominations:

Beren

 

3 Nominations:

Kaizero

 

2 Nominations:

Mrmojorisin75

Neesy

Branko

Shak

Northerngimp

Midds

Froggy

Kanji

 

1 Nomination:

Parky

Yorkie

WarrenBartonCentrePartin

Leffe

B-More Mag

SEMTEX

BlueStar

Andy

Thomas

BlurPurdi

Ian W

Jill

 

 

Most Boring Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Most Boring Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Kid Icarus (7), Ronaldo (6), Stifler (4), The College Dropout (14) & Toondave (5)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

3 Nominations:

HTT

BrettNUFC

Ope

 

2 Nominations:

Froggy

Haz

Cronky

Kanji

Mole_Toonfan

 

1 Nomination:

Nobody

Merlin

Slim

Ian W

Noodles

NUFC54

GC

Kaka

QuakesMag

Crumpy Gunt

Mozy

Roger Kint

Colinmk

 

 

Funniest Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Funniest Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Hans (12), Mike (9), Northerngimp (10), SEMTEX (6), TaylorJ_01 (5) & Thomas (5)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

4 Nominations:

Disco

 

3 Nominations:

Joeyt

Interpolic

Jill

Newsted

 

2 Nominations:

Stifler

B-More Mag

Dave

Neesy

Reefatoon

 

1 Nomination:

The College Dropout

GM

Wullie

Shay's Given Tim Flowers

Incognito

Darth Crooks

Deuce

Shak

Chrisjraby

 

 

Most Improved Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Most Improved Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Beren (3), Ian W (3), Lush Vlad (3), Mrmojorisin75 (3) & Triggs (5)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Troll

Jill

TRon

Mole_Toonfan

 

1 Nomination:

Unbelievable

Froggy

Neesy

Thomson Mouse

Kid Icarus

NUFC54

BrettNUFC

Reefatoon

Klaus

Toondave

Shay's Given Tim Flowers

Mr Snrub

Branko

Felipards

Rocafella

ManDoon

Stal

Ronaldo

Yorkie

Hans

Deuce

BlueStar

Chrisjraby

 

 

Most Deteriorated Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Most Deteriorated Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Branko (4), Kid Icarus (5), Ponsaelius (3), Ronaldo (6) & The College Dropout (3)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

TaylorJ_01

Froggy

 

1 Nomination:

Joeyt

Parky

Mike

Tooj

GM

Toondave

Deuce

Northerngimps Typing Skills

SEMTEX

HTT

Beren

Dave

Slim

Ian W

Pata

ManDoon

Haz

Wormy

Yorkie

Toon's Taylor

Clay

hindu times

 

 

Most Overrated Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Most Overrated Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Dave (4), Kanji (4), Kid Icarus (10), Mole_Toonfan (4) & Ronaldo (8)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

3 Nominations:

Interpolic

 

2 Nominations:

Mike

Deuce

Triggs

Wullie

Branko

Disco

Froggy

Ope

 

1 Nomination:

Felipards

Joeyt

Yorkie

Ponsaelius

Stifler

Jack Flash

GM

Slim

Happy Face

SEMTEX

Thomas

ManDoon

Jotenko

Roger Kint

Fugazi

 

 

Most Underrated Poster:

 

The Nominees for the category "Most Underrated Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

 

B-More Mag (5), Deuce (3), Jill (4), Mrmojorisin75 (5), Newsted (3) & Shak (3)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Reefatoon

Ketsbaia

Thomas

Northerngimp

Lush Vlad

Toon Hoser

QuakesMag

Kanji

Froggy

 

1 Nomination:

Shay's Given Tim Flowers

Anderson

Pilko

Incognito

Troll

MrLogic

Joeyt

Skirge

Mr Snrub

Branko

ManDoon

Coco

Chrisjraby

Wullie

Cronky

The College Dropout

Incognito

Unbelievable!

 

 

Poster You Wish Would Come Back/Post More Often:

 

The Nominees for the category "Poster You Wish Would Come Back/Post More Often" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Bimpy (4), ChezGiven (3), LBW (3), Rich (14) & Wormy (4)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

BarackObama

Ponsaelius

Madras

Keefaz

Kasper

Pip

GM

 

1 Nomination:

Skeletor

Womblemaster

Babatunde

JackFlash

Ally

Oakie Doke

Weezertron

Tooj

80

AliGupter

Joe_F

Thenige

KaKa

BlufPurdi

SSR

Thespence

Pilko

ManDoon

QuakesMag

Babatunde

Jotenko

Tooj

Mike

Jimburst

 

 

Poster You'd Most Like to Meet:

 

The Nominees for the category "Poster You'd Most Like to Meet" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Hans (4), Interpolic (10), Kaizero (6), Mike (12) & Ronaldo (6)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Felipards

Wullie

Kanji

Froggy

Yorkie

Deuce

 

1 Nomination:

Big Geordie

HTT

The College Dropout

Mrmojorisin75

TBG

Thomas

MrLogic

Parky

Troll

Superior Grant

Tooj

Sho'Time

Teasy

Jill

BarackObama

Kid Icarus

Ian W

Troll

BarackObama

Stifler

Rich/Atticus

Greg

Dave

Kaka

Village Idiot

GM

Unbelievable!

Shak

 

 

Poster You'd Least Like to Meet:

 

The Nominees for the category "Poster You'd Least Like to Meet" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Kid Icarus (9), Mr Snrub (5), Ronaldo (8), Stifler (7) & The College Dropout (7)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

3 Nominations:

Froggy

Toondave

 

2 Nominations:

BrettNUFC

HTT

Noodles

 

1 Nomination:

Wullie

Cronky

Triggs

Bimpy

Noodles

Kanji

Northumbrian

SEMTEX

Merlin

ElCid

Jack Flash

Pie Face

Slim

Kaka

Ian W

Parky

Taxfree

Jaqen

 

 

Best Football Thread:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Football Thread" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Crystal Palace Manager (3), Hatem Ben Arfa of OGC Nice and France (7), Image of the week (4), The other games today - 2015/16 (3) & The wonderful work of David Squires (6)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Steve McClaren

Not Worthy of a Thread

NUFC Transfer Rumours in the Press

 

1 Nomination:

Chancel Mbemba

Match Thread Spurs 1 - 2 NUFC

Daft Questions (Footy)

Football Pet Hates

Adam Armstrong

Why no playoffs?

Best Logo

AshleyOut.com

RIP Pavel Srnicek 1968 - 2015

Betting Thread

Jack Colback

RELEGATIONOMETER

The Sack Race

Prediction League 2015/2016

Mike Ashley

 

 

Best Chat Thread:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Chat Thread" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Comic Books/Comic Movies/Godawful CW Shows Thread (3), NFL 2015 (10) & Some More Vaguely Amusing Internet Jocularity (10)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Daft Questions

Film You Recently Watched

Ace Posts

Brutal Posts

UK Politics

Game of Thrones

NBA

MLB

 

1 Nomination:

Jimmy Saville

Facebook

What Mood are you In

Stupid Things Lasses Say

Disco's Divas

Language Corner

Guilty Pleasures

Handwriting

Materialism: What have you bought?

Your Pet Hates

All Things Rock

Still Not Worthy of a Thread

 

 

Best Thread Started in 2015:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Chat Thread" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Brutal Posts (4), Image of the Week (3), NFL 2015 (4) & The Wonderful Work of David Squires (3)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

1 Nomination:

Dumb things you do

Meeting the other half's rents...

Handwriting

Steve McClaren

N-O Game of the Year 2015: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

 

 

Best Post of the Year:

 

The Nominees for the category "Best Post of the Year" are:

 

TCD Statistics (7)

 

http://www.whoscored.com/Players/55378008/

http://i.imgur.com/XFJz7kW.png

 

 

I wonder where she is now... (3)

 

I've even been hit over the head n face with a motor bike helmet while eating a kebab. True stories.

 

:lol:  Wtf.

 

 

 

It was a mild summers evening in the 90s.  I had went to the club with my mates and had a few beers....to my surprise a lass I worked with suddenly showed up out of the blue ( these were the days before mobiles so it was a big risk on her part,  especially when she called me a shithead for not meating up the week before at laser quest)...so she popped up and we have a couple of scoops and a dance and then we go outside for a kebab from the kebab van.  We share a bab and sit down...as we are sitting down and eating a guy and his lass pull up on a crosser bike.  He stops near the kebab van and tries to steady it so his lady passenger can debark, they have a bit of bother and eventually the bike topples over onto both of them.  A few people witness this and I pipe up "hahaha you've been caught on candid camera hahaha" didnt think anything else of it until this radge packet is towering over my kebab and says "what you say?" Before I knew it he clocked me with the helmet twice and digged me....I won the day tho cos the daft c*** slopped off with his lass without a kebab each.  Later that night the lass let me rub her snatch through her knickers and touch her bewbs....I did like her,  I wonder where she is now.

 

 

 

Handwriting Shoe (2)

 

http://i.imgur.com/5jAMpYFh.jpg

 

 

Reminds me of McClaren's situation during his hollandaise (2)

 

What is this saucery? Being able to appoint a competent manager within a week and not hire the local village idiot for half a season and almost lead you into oblivion.

 

Reminds me of McClaren's situation during his hollandaise

 

 

Punched lasagne (2)

 

He also has a face like a punched lasagne.

 

 

Gimps SJP shoe (2)

 

http://i.share.pho.to/c6bb2d3b_o.png

 

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

1 Nomination:

 

 

Speaking of cringeworthy lines it reminds me of when I had a little exchange with a beautiful till attendant who only had pound coins to change a 10er, I jokingly complained about it and then ended up buying a bottle of pop anyway, she said "well at least that's once less pound to carry about!" to which my response was "every little helps", the Tesco motto. Felt like jumping infront of a bus.

 

:lol:

 

It's always awkward when they are a bit thick and the following occurs

 

"That's £4.05"

"Ah, here's £5... got a 5p too"

"Oh..." *gives 95p change and 5p back*

"Right... cheers then"

 

On the contrary, whenever it does work you always have a little connection. As if you know how shit is going down and you're gonna work together on this one. Just strut away like Vince McMahon with your pound coin, no time for small ass coinage, only the big bucks here.

 

:lol: I was guilty of making a complete fuck up of a straight forward transaction before, I was paying for something that totalled £XX.94 and I said "Do you want the 6p?", she said "Yeah if you've got it"

 

I gave her it, then realised neither of us had a fucking clue what we were doing :lol:

 

She just stared at this money in her hand, then looked at the till and I'd stunned myself into silence with my own stupidity. I think I'd somehow tried to give myself my own change, via the cashier. Easily one of the most retarded things I've ever done :lol:

 

MS 7 ‏@ms_sissoko  26s27 seconds ago

I'm a professional player and I stay focused on my team NUFC #DontListenToRumours

 

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,67331.msg5614862.html#msg5614862

 

I value life's moments over material wealth

 

That's no excuse. Get it done.

 

http://i.imgur.com/5YbtAWR.png

Fully expected SEM's reply to be: "Material wealth allows me to enjoy life's moments better"

 

Nah I've gone a totally different route.

 

Anyway, seen as SanToon seems determined to avoid finding out, I'm going to fill in the form on his behalf.

 

It's not looking great.

 

http://i.imgur.com/MXxOYqS.png

 

Travelled 1500km to meet some distant relatives. I only discovered they even existed last year, just before I came out.

 

We're not related, it's another Lishman.

 

Haven't mentioned it.

 

Tbf "nee reason" was a lie.  I was just about to enter a sexual situation so did it in the bathroom while she sorted herself out.

 

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz", "Neil, what you doing?!", "Shaving me pubes off pet, not sure why", "Diven't, man!", "Fuck off man, it's sound", "OK then", "Ah shit, I shaved me balls and there's blood all over the bathroom floor", "Telt yer.  Fucking telt yer".

 

 

You on PS3 jot? Add me so I can score repeated Quaresma hatricks against you

 

I have a PS3, but I don't play on the Master League, I play on Divisions with real teams. Tonight I will create a private room and we'll play Benfica x Newcastle United.

 

How strong is NUFC squad in PES?

 

Not as good as the Benfica one especially if the updates have lost MYM and Santon

 

Anyway, one thing I hate about PES is the politeness of the supporters. They have gay ass banners saying things like: "Respect your history!" "Go! Go! Go!" "Reach the glory!", and so on.

 

That's why I play with german teams, so I don't understand the banners. "Underzing Helga Wierdenbrif" yeah whatever that means.

 

Worst thing is that every year they go one step further, I assume that by 2020 we'll have banners saying things like "Consider winning".

 

Some dude called Larry O'Sullivan uses a variation of this in his book "How is My Driving? Motivational Tips for Success in Business and Life." In this version the mother 'confronts' her son.

 

https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=VNzZAwAAQBAJ&pg=PA286&lpg=PA286&dq=Then,+reaching+under+his+pillow+he+pulled+out+some+crumpled+up+bills&source=bl&ots=ZE9KpbNgTN&sig=lCPVt3AQNQMTfV7opBmVoC5_oQc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAmoVChMI4seLw6-wyAIVSjo-Ch32WAsK

 

I know what I'm reading tonight.

 

:lol: I'd rather read the inside of my own coffin lid.

 

7-0 real madrid

Not watching the game but imo if they've been picking them apart after the third or fourth then I think that's poor sportsmanship. If Malmo's been making a hash of it then fine. But at 4-0 you know they're outclassed and not coming back, no need to rub it in.

 

His BBC profile is pretty great

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/wear/hi/tv_and_radio/newsid_8182000/8182586.stm

 

 

Your greatest regret?

The death of my father.

 

:lol: did you kill him, Mick?

 

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,67331.msg5656649.html#msg5656649

 

Feeling sluggish? No end product? Try cancer!

 

That's fairly similar to a story I once heard about him at the golf club. Bloke needs to sort his attitude out or his Mrs will be off cheating again.

 

He's probably used to being second choice.

 

Read an article which had the closing line 'If all who'd done what Evans did were sent to jail then most football teams wouldn't be able to put out a full team each week, and a lot of nightclubs would be half empty each weekend. '

 

What was the publication, "Rapist's Weekly"??  :lol:

 

http://i67.tinypic.com/209jzeu.jpg

 

http://i66.tinypic.com/kezyfq.jpg

 

Someone make that a smiley!

 

[move]height=80http://i.imgur.com/1H6RmEH.png[/img][/move]

 

Where's Westmoor posting something about Chicken Nuggets.

 

 

Most Brutal Post of the Year:

 

The Nominees for the category "Most Brutal Post" are:

 

TCD Statistics (7)

 

http://www.whoscored.com/Players/55378008/

http://i.imgur.com/XFJz7kW.png

 

 

Interstellar 3/5 (5)

 

Im not man, Interstaller is 3/5 and the Bourne films are just so meh.

 

Interstellar is "3/5"... Hoy a leg back up on that banister and then throw yourself over the top.

 

 

Only interested in being friends (4)

 

Miss Metroland. Used to always have my birthday party there

Urgh, imagine 'Miss Metroland'. She'd have massive gold hopped ear rings, a massive fridge rolled round a hairspray can, caked in the stuff, a red scrunchy holding her ponytail in, Reebok classics and thrush.

 

Can I have sex with this post?

 

I heard it's only interested in being friends.

 

 

Wullie mauls TCD (3)

 

I can't be bothered to dig out the posts but many felt overall the team had been under achieving by the time he left. Many still believe the remit of "survive comfortably in the PL" is a Pardew idea.

 

Anyway, I hope the media take note of how he's stoking Palace expectations about Europe.

 

Luckily I can.

 

Pardew is to blame for 100% of the negative things at the club - except about 10% of the playing staff consisting of the likes a Tiote & Gouffran.

 

But everything said is true. Pardew does look like a bit of a Charlatan. A fraud.

 

Pardew has no sense of attacking philosophy. Going forward we hope Cabaye/HBA can produce something for Cisse/Ba, with Tiote & Jonas chipping in. Santon goes forward cuts inside all the time but there's no plan of what to do when he does it. Jonas going forward seems to be an afterthought.

 

This is probably the single worst thing about our team and Pardew as a manager.

 

IMO like Sunderland we need a new manager. Someone within the existing system will have no effect.

 

Surely Pardew is finished here. What a woeful half of football.

 

Hope the penny drops with Ashley.

 

If we can produce good quality youngsters and have a manager that can bring them through - he'll be rolling in it.

 

First thing - chop Pardew.

 

Honestly, I could go on and on and on, there are dozens of these. The way you paint yourself as someone who warned against the dangers of getting rid of the loathsome cunt is absolutely unbearable.

 

 

Says a man who soils himself (3)

 

This is the condition of men nowadays. It's disgraceful.

Says a man who soils himself at the sight of a mildly attractive female or minor football news.

 

 

Take some more black and white photos of yourself (2)

 

What's sadder is a Palace fan signing up to a Newcastle forum and pretending to be a Newcastle fan. Fuck off and take some more moody black and white Instagram photos of yourself. :thup:

 

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

1 Nomination:

 

You can great goals without getting assist. Simply by opening up play, or playing that 1 defence splitting pass before the assist, even dragging other players out can all be as crucial as the actual assist.

 

Alreet professor

I only hold a doctorate I'm afraid.

 

You couldn't even hold a pen man.

 

Plenty of disagreement on here tbf.

 

For further reference check out the Colback thread or the Anita thread.

 

It's total bollocks :lol: I think I have disagreed with like every single person on here :lol:

For example, I disagree with your existence as a human being.

 

God you're a twat. Fucking do one. Bored of it now.

 

You can put Scarlett Johansson's ring on your finger and you'd still be a massive fucking loser.

 

Deputy Dawg UK is not Kanji's Mate

 

Something about Pardews Sex Life

 

He'll eventually realise that steroids are are supposed to be injected into your arse, not the side of your head.

 

 

The Planet Soft Cunt Award:

 

The Nominees for the category "The Planet Soft Cunt Award" are, in alphabetical order:

 

KaKa (3), Kid Icarus (9), Ope (4), Stifler (5) & Ronaldo (3)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Yorkie

Ian W

Mr Snrub

 

1 Nomination:

Mickthemagpie

Cronky

Jill

Unbelievable

Mike

BrettNUFC

ManDoon

SEMTEX

Bimpy

Froggy

Shak

 

 

The Donald Trump Award:

 

The Nominees for the category "The Donald Trump Award" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Beren (3), Ronaldo (7), Stifler (3), The College Dropout (3) & Toondave (9)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

2 Nominations:

Noodles

Hans

Froggy

Ope

Mike

 

1 Nomination:

Chrisjraby

Kanji

Northumbrian

Mrmojorisin75

Kid Icarus

Deuce

Ameritoon

B-More Mag

Unbelievable's Racism

 

 

Poster You Wish Would Get in the Sea:

 

The Nominees for the category "Poster You Wish Would Get in the Sea" are, in alphabetical order:

 

Cronky (4), Kid Icarus (4), Ronaldo (5), The College Dropout (12) & Toondave (4)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

3 Nominations:

Froggy

Slim

 

2 Nominations:

ElCid

Noodles

Roger Kint

 

1 Nomination:

Nobody

SEMTEX

Teasy

George Costanza

BrettNUFC

Mike

Unbelievable

Jotenko

Mr Snrub

Joeyt

TaylorJ_01

Stifler

 

 

The Jon Lockwood Award for Outstanding Long-Term Achievement:

 

The Nominees for The Jon Lockwood Award for Outstanding Long-Term Achievement are, in alphabetical order:

 

Beren (7), Disco (10), Kaizero (5), Mike (10) & SEMTEX (5)

 

The following were nominated but did not make it:

 

3 Nominations:

Midds

BlufPurdi

Jill

GM

 

2 Nominations:

HTT

Madras

 

1 Nomination:

Tooj

Magpie

Shak

Pip

Oldtype

Northerngimp

Ponsaelius

Andy

Optimistic Nut

 

Previous Winners:

2011: Dave

2012: Rich

2013: Cajun

2014: Wullie

 

 

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:lol: This guy blew the dust off the fucking table tags. Outstanding.

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:lol: :lol:

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