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The Lovelife Thread


Shays Given Tim Flowers
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The main thing I’ve learnt from here is how ridiculous these dating app algorithms are, had no idea you could game it with some easy changes.
 

I never did any apps other than a couple of months on Guardian Soulmates. Didn’t go on a single date, think my profile was shit and my chatting game over messaging was awful. 
 

Met my wife ten years ago via one

of my best mates when he organised a

brithday trip to Bristol. I dread to think how I’d have got on using apps long-term. Think I’m fine in person but just can’t do initial chat virtually 

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5 hours ago, Mike said:

Nowt worse than trying to make dating app photos. :lol: Especially if your baseline look is "You gonna eat your cornbread?"


I just watched that movie again like two nights ago. :lol: 

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i was flirting with the idea of trying it on with one of my subordinates at work ( not a direct report but close ) even though I know it’s a fucking stupid idea - we got closer and closer and then one night we’re out for some drinks and I tried to kiss her and she said no no no and nothing happened 

 

Fast forward a few weeks we went to a work awards do together , this time we did kiss and I stayed in her room but she wouldn’t put out and probably sensibly as that didn’t happen things were ok as they were 

 

1 week later we had out Xmas do and I invited her back during the night she said yes again kissed again- didn’t have sex drunk, though I did go down on her and then we woke up hungover together at mine and made the decision we would just go for it and fuck all day 

 

Few major issues here as we work together thank fully no one knows but we really get on well she’s hilarious and she’s coming round again at the end of the week. I’ve accepted in my head I want to see where things go… we’ve been talking pretty much since - 

 

has anyone had to deal with this before as a manager at work and what the fuck did you do? 
 

The problem is my mind is set at the I like her more than my job and I’m willing to see what happens stage…
 

 

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34 minutes ago, tgarve said:

i was flirting with the idea of trying it on with one of my subordinates at work ( not a direct report but close ) even though I know it’s a fucking stupid idea - we got closer and closer and then one night we’re out for some drinks and I tried to kiss her and she said no no no and nothing happened 

 

Fast forward a few weeks we went to a work awards do together , this time we did kiss and I stayed in her room but she wouldn’t put out and probably sensibly as that didn’t happen things were ok as they were 

 

1 week later we had out Xmas do and I invited her back during the night she said yes again kissed again- didn’t have sex drunk, though I did go down on her and then we woke up hungover together at mine and made the decision we would just go for it and fuck all day 

 

Few major issues here as we work together thank fully no one knows but we really get on well she’s hilarious and she’s coming round again at the end of the week. I’ve accepted in my head I want to see where things go… we’ve been talking pretty much since - 

 

has anyone had to deal with this before as a manager at work and what the fuck did you do? 
 

The problem is my mind is set at the I like her more than my job and I’m willing to see what happens stage…
 

 

Time to find a new Job my friend :lol:

 

It you are her superior it may end in tears. 

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33 minutes ago, r0cafella said:

Time to find a new Job my friend :lol:

 

It you are her superior it may end in tears. 

I know I know that - she’s very chill to be honest and no one knows anything

 

Im kind of looking anyway

 

Is life not for living in some circumstances 

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2 minutes ago, tgarve said:

I know I know that - she’s very chill to be honest and no one knows anything

 

Im kind of looking anyway

 

Is life not for living in some circumstances 

Definitely mate, I kept a similar thing secret for 2 years however we were on the same level so even if it went tits up it was less complicated. 
 

I guess it also depends on how serious you both want it to be, if it’s just a no strings thing then you might be able to roll the dice. 

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3 hours ago, tgarve said:

I know I know that - she’s very chill to be honest and no one knows anything

 

Im kind of looking anyway

 

Is life not for living in some circumstances 

Please take care. If you plan to work with this girl while also engaging in wanton intercourse with her, by far the most likely outcome is that people, specifically the other women, will know, whether through gossip or intuition. As a superior, this leaves you very exposed.

 

Also, most babes will be chill until you are knocking them and suddenly intense emotion becomes involved, the same is true for men, quite frankly. People die over love and lust every hour of every day; it will make rational people act irrationally. I would not assume that a person will act a certain way regarding these sort of matters based on how they present themselves in the rest of their lives.

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5 hours ago, tgarve said:

I know I know that - she’s very chill to be honest and no one knows anything

 

Im kind of looking anyway

 

Is life not for living in some circumstances 

 

Life fast, die young?

 

Nah. Live fast, die old. Don't live by, "the rules".

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1 hour ago, bobbydazzla said:

Yes, I've had office romances. Good-looking ones, as well.

 

But they're not a good idea, office romances. It's like shitting on your own doorstep.

 

I can't believe there's a bird that fancies tgarve over me for a start. He's a weird little fella with his cartoon face and rubbish clothes. He looks like a Fisher price man. 

 

 

Edited by MrRaspberryJam

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1 hour ago, OpenC said:

The fallout is invariably fucking hideous and destructive for everybody else there

 

 

 

Not necessarily if your both adults about it 

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After being a relationship for 6 years that seemed fucking fantasy-level perfect, and being on the verge of proposing, that then unravelled, I find it hard not to be quite cynical now. (15 months after that break-up). I'm now also in my 30s when people are different - very intentional, and I fear a lot of people settle - this also makes me quite cynical -  I don't want to settle or be settled for. I felt it was much healthier when, like in your 20s, you just see how it goes. Additionally I also know I'm not going to stay in the country where I am for more than another year and a half max. On another level I know I'll probably meet someone eventually and scoff at this cynical phase.

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4 hours ago, Inferior Acuña said:

After being a relationship for 6 years that seemed fucking fantasy-level perfect, and being on the verge of proposing, that then unravelled, I find it hard not to be quite cynical now. (15 months after that break-up). I'm now also in my 30s when people are different - very intentional, and I fear a lot of people settle - this also makes me quite cynical -  I don't want to settle or be settled for. I felt it was much healthier when, like in your 20s, you just see how it goes. Additionally I also know I'm not going to stay in the country where I am for more than another year and a half max. On another level I know I'll probably meet someone eventually and scoff at this cynical phase.

 

Yeah this is a definite thing that I've noticed. 

Also I like you, see my future away from where I currently am and this puts some considerable strain on my relationships to the point where I think I'm probably better off putting myself where I want to be. 

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6 hours ago, Inferior Acuña said:

After being a relationship for 6 years that seemed fucking fantasy-level perfect, and being on the verge of proposing, that then unravelled, I find it hard not to be quite cynical now. (15 months after that break-up). I'm now also in my 30s when people are different - very intentional, and I fear a lot of people settle - this also makes me quite cynical -  I don't want to settle or be settled for. I felt it was much healthier when, like in your 20s, you just see how it goes. Additionally I also know I'm not going to stay in the country where I am for more than another year and a half max. On another level I know I'll probably meet someone eventually and scoff at this cynical phase.

Is it settling or being a bit more accepting of others foibles and maybe understanding that what you wanted then isn't what you want then ? 

 

We were 26 when we got together btw.

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On 18/01/2023 at 00:54, tgarve said:

i was flirting with the idea of trying it on with one of my subordinates at work ( not a direct report but close ) even though I know it’s a fucking stupid idea - we got closer and closer and then one night we’re out for some drinks and I tried to kiss her and she said no no no and nothing happened 

 

Fast forward a few weeks we went to a work awards do together , this time we did kiss and I stayed in her room but she wouldn’t put out and probably sensibly as that didn’t happen things were ok as they were 

 

1 week later we had out Xmas do and I invited her back during the night she said yes again kissed again- didn’t have sex drunk, though I did go down on her and then we woke up hungover together at mine and made the decision we would just go for it and fuck all day 

 

Few major issues here as we work together thank fully no one knows but we really get on well she’s hilarious and she’s coming round again at the end of the week. I’ve accepted in my head I want to see where things go… we’ve been talking pretty much since - 

 

has anyone had to deal with this before as a manager at work and what the fuck did you do? 
 

The problem is my mind is set at the I like her more than my job and I’m willing to see what happens stage…
 

 

Yes. Tricky business. I always stuck to the don’t mix balls and business philosophy. I work in health so always loads of women around. Had a clear frisson in the air with one gorgeous, clever and as it turned out very wealthy woman who worked for me. Kept it very professional until she left after which we went out a few times and things were progressing nicely. She went to the Christmas do after she left which I didn’t go to because who the fuck wants the gaffer at the Christmas do, and I can get a bit lively on the peeve. No one knew we were seeing each other and she was informed that I’d been knocking about with an equally gorgeous but recently divorced and very vulnerable Spanish nurse. She subsequently sent me a furious text telling me I was a filthy liar, which would have been perfectly fair had it been true. I told her it was nonsense but she wouldn’t have it so I didn’t keep pushing the point. 
lose lose situation all round for me, who was totally innocent in the whole debacle. I think she was trying to elicit a more frantic heartfelt response but I wasn’t going to get pulled into that kind of carry on. So I missed out with a beautiful Persian / Indian woman as a result of not exploiting a beautiful Spanish woman’s vulnerability. What a bummer. 
mind this was 10 years since and I’m now happily married to a feisty red head ten years my junior so can’t complain. 

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