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This bug a lot of people seem to have...


Stevie
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On Thursday, I woke up about 12, felt right as rain, absolutely tickety-boo and in a great mood, as I'd just got told I had a job interview for Monday, for a position I really want.

 

My mothers pal, has just had a knee operation, so I had to take her some groceries down at 1pm, about 10 mins walk. Half way down, out of the blue I had to stop, you know when you just have to stop in case you shit yourself and sometimes it goes away. It was a crippling pain in my stomach but it receeded for a minute or two so I walked another 100 yards. Then it happened. I could see it coming out the bottom of my tracksuit bottoms, didn't look like shite just all watery shite. I was 5 mins from home, 5 mins from Theresa's so I couldn't well go to a woman's house, when I'd shit meself. So I had to waddle back up the hill walking like I was doing the Beardsley shuffle all the way home.

 

I got home and since then I've not been able to eat anything but a bit of fish, on the Thursday night I was shaking like fuck, I'd go to the toilet one minute and have to run across the landing the next because I needed another shite, honestly in the last 72 hours I reckon I've had in excess of 150 visits to the toilet, I've already been once writing this. I honestly felt that ill on Thursday I thought I was Britain's first victim of BIRD FLU. I had some fish last night but it's repeating on me.

 

I can't sleep properly or fuck all, looking at this monitor hurts me eyes, and I'm gonna try and rest all day today. Here we go I need another shite brb. Fuck sake.

 

Why am I telling you this? To warn you, it might be in the post, half this streets got it, honestly it wouldn't have been a bad idea to buy some pampers in the last few days, but according to the doctor it's sweeping all over the country.

 

I hope yous don't get it I'm not even going to the match tomorrow because of it.

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You shit yourself. :lol:

 

Well I'm not ashamed of it, I'm ill!  Besides every person, I don't care who you are, has shat themselves at some point in their life.

 

Viral form of gastroenteritis apparently. My mother and aunt were struck down with it.

 

How long did it take to clear up?  Honestly I'm not even going to put a football bet on today, in case I cake it on the way to the bookies.  Such a horrible feeling man.

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You shit yourself. :lol:

 

bluelaugh.gif

 

had gastroenteritis before, not nice at all. Went to the doctors after a week and he told my mum i was the worst person he had ever seen in the surgery, i was so ill after not eating and sh*ting whatever i had inside of me i couldnt even remmeber going to the dr's!

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You shit yourself. :lol:

 

Well I'm not ashamed of it, I'm ill!  Besides every person, I don't care who you are, has shat themselves at some point in their life.

 

Viral form of gastroenteritis apparently. My mother and aunt were struck down with it.

 

How long did it take to clear up?  Honestly I'm not even going to put a football bet on today, in case I cake it on the way to the bookies.   Such a horrible feeling man.

 

 

bluelaugh.gif  bluelaugh.gif ........................ priceless.

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You shit yourself. :lol:

 

Well I'm not ashamed of it, I'm ill! Besides every person, I don't care who you are, has shat themselves at some point in their life.

 

Viral form of gastroenteritis apparently. My mother and aunt were struck down with it.

 

How long did it take to clear up? Honestly I'm not even going to put a football bet on today, in case I cake it on the way to the bookies. Such a horrible feeling man.

 

It flared up overnight Monday-Tuesday and she was still feeling pretty weak yesterday.  But today she's out shopping :roll:

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Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.

haha bluebiggrin.gif

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My mothers pal, has just had a knee operation, so I had to take her some groceries down at 1pm

 

"Groceries"..? Yeah, right.

 

Cleverly diguised "I'm shagging an old person with a dodgy knee" thread tbh.

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Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.

haha bluebiggrin.gif

 

Didn't find it that funny, had to get back in the shower. Wor lass probably won't find it very funny either when she peels my kegs out the washing basket.

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Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.

haha bluebiggrin.gif

 

Didn't find it that funny, had to get back in the shower. Wor lass probably won't find it very funny either when she peels my kegs out the washing basket.

 

lmao!

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Guest Micktoon

Funniest thread of the year!!!

 

As long as you can walk shitting or pissing yourself is always very funny.

 

Agree, literally lmao.

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Guest optimistic nit

Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.

 

 

what screwed up life do you lead if my name is earl is on in your morning?

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Guest Snoopy
Didn't find it that funny, had to get back in the shower. Wor lass probably won't find it very funny either when she peels my kegs out the washing basket.

Oh the joys of having a man in your life! Yuck! Your poor lass! :(

:D Very funny all the same though!

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Guest Snoopy

PS. Have you lads got no sympathy in this thread? bluelaugh.gif

 

Whist I did laugh at the way this story was told, I do hope that stevie gets better soon, poor bugger sounds ill and you lot are all peeing yourself laughing at the other end of your computers....no...infact you are rolling on the floor peeing yourselves laughing! Have some sympathy on a poor lad,  man!

 

bluelaugh.gif

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PS. Have you lads got no sympathy in this thread? bluelaugh.gif

 

Whist I did laugh at the way this story was told, I do hope that stevie gets better soon, poor bugger sounds ill and you lot are all peeing yourself laughing at the other end of your computers....no...infact you are rolling on the floor peeing yourselves laughing! Have some sympathy on a poor lad,  man!

 

bluelaugh.gif

 

Quoted for truth    bluewink.gif

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PS. Have you lads got no sympathy in this thread? bluelaugh.gif

 

Whist I did laugh at the way this story was told, I do hope that stevie gets better soon, poor bugger sounds ill and you lot are all peeing yourself laughing at the other end of your computers....no...infact you are rolling on the floor peeing yourselves laughing! Have some sympathy on a poor lad,  man!

 

bluelaugh.gif

 

Thank you snoopy.

 

Although I didn't write it for sympathy, just to warn people that this is becoming almost an epidemic in this area according to the doctors.  This household has been through 19 bog rolls in the last 3 days, thats how bad it's been, I think I'm starting to get over the worst but I'm still bad.  Certainly though I can't fart with confidence yet.

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Guest Snoopy
Thank you snoopy.

 

Although I didn't write it for sympathy, just to warn people that this is becoming almost an epidemic in this area according to the doctors. This household has been through 19 bog rolls in the last 3 days, thats how bad it's been, I think I'm starting to get over the worst but I'm still bad. Certainly though I can't fart with confidence yet.

:) I know you were writing it to warn everyone, very nice of you to do so when you are sitting there almost nearly crapping yourself all of the time.

 

Sounds like you and your family have had a really horrible time of it, its really awful to feel ill like that and keep having to go to the toilet. Hope it clears up properly soon and you are much better. Are you still going for the job interview or are you not gonna risk it?

 

Your bit about farting with confidence DID make me laugh though, I gotta admit!! bluelaugh.gif

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