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The Les Dawson Appreciation Thread


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http://www.shaun.hutchinson.btinternet.co.uk/lesdawson.jpg

 

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.

 

 

Tomorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it.

 

 

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

 

 

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

 

 

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

 

 

The wife's Mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave." I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea."

 

 

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'

 

 

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

 

 

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.

 

 

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Guest optimistic nit

that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

Nah, AS9 has been postin weed and funk albums to JB for the last two weeks. Its a short-term memory thing.

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

pwn3d tbh ;)

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Guest optimistic nit

that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

 

not funniest life moment, i have plenty more in the locker lad. blueyes.gif

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Guest optimistic nit

that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

 

 

 

like so many of my 'anecdotes' it was really a be there type thing. you can't quite capture the essance of the story in words alone blueyes.gif

 

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

 

 

 

like so many of my 'anecdotes' it was really a be there type thing. you can't quite capture the essance of the story in words alone blueyes.gif

 

 

In which case, please - don't bother trying in future ;)

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Guest optimistic nit

its no longer my funniest moment now anyway, my new funniest moment is me telling you about my previous funniest moment.

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

 

 

 

like so many of my 'anecdotes' it was really a be there type thing. you can't quite capture the essance of the story in words alone blueyes.gif

 

 

In which case, please - don't bother trying in future ;)

 

:lol:

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its no longer my funniest moment now anyway, my new funniest moment is me telling you about my previous funniest moment.

 

TBH, you seem to have a lot of "funny" mental.gif moments bluerazz.gif

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Guest optimistic nit

that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

 

 

 

like so many of my 'anecdotes' it was really a be there type thing. you can't quite capture the essance of the story in words alone blueyes.gif

 

 

In which case, please - don't bother trying in future ;)

 

 

 

it doesn't bother me if you don't like my anecdotes, i'm just glad after years of trying i managed to make someone laugh ;)

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

 

 

 

like so many of my 'anecdotes' it was really a be there type thing. you can't quite capture the essance of the story in words alone blueyes.gif

 

 

In which case, please - don't bother trying in future ;)

 

it doesn't bother me if you don't like my anecdotes, i'm just glad after years of trying i managed to make someone laugh ;)

 

Who was that?

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Guest optimistic nit

that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

 

 

 

like so many of my 'anecdotes' it was really a be there type thing. you can't quite capture the essance of the story in words alone blueyes.gif

 

 

In which case, please - don't bother trying in future ;)

 

it doesn't bother me if you don't like my anecdotes, i'm just glad after years of trying i managed to make someone laugh ;)

 

Who was that?

 

 

bluecry.gif

 

you're fucking relentless aren't you. you could have let me go with a small percentage of my pride intact but no, you keep at it, but for someone with so many questions, you have very few answers.

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that first one is complete genius, i have been trying to memorise that for ages, never really have though :(

 

 

what an interesting and exciting life you lead!

 

says he who quotes his funniest life moment as the time when he killed the wrong guys on halo :roll:

 

Have to admit - that story did have me in stitches. smeeagain.gif

 

 

 

 

like so many of my 'anecdotes' it was really a be there type thing. you can't quite capture the essance of the story in words alone blueyes.gif

 

 

In which case, please - don't bother trying in future ;)

 

it doesn't bother me if you don't like my anecdotes, i'm just glad after years of trying i managed to make someone laugh ;)

 

Who was that?

 

 

bluecry.gif

 

you're fucking relentless aren't you. you could have let me go with a small percentage of my pride intact but no, you keep at it, but for someone with so many questions, you have very few answers.

 

:lol:, sympathy laugh tbh.

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when he played the old woman with the bloke who is/was in Corrie, he always pushed his tits up as they were too saggy, that was also classic LD (not the vans).

 

 

Les & Roy Barraclough

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/220/lesdawsonshow_2.jpg

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when he played the old woman with the bloke who is/was in Corrie, he always pushed his tits up as they were too saggy, that was also classic LD (not the vans).

 

 

Les & Roy Barraclough

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/220/lesdawsonshow_2.jpg

 

:lol:

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when he played the old woman with the bloke who is/was in Corrie, he always pushed his tits up as they were too saggy, that was also classic LD (not the vans).

 

 

Les & Roy Barraclough

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/220/lesdawsonshow_2.jpg

 

:lol:

 

blueeek.gif Just realised how much my lass looks like Roy!!! yikes.gif

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