Jack Flash

Yannick Bolasie is expected to miss another month with his hip injury

http://i.imgur.com/0r74RJX.gif

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/alan-pardew-if-can-deal-7187598

 

Alan Pardew: 'If I can deal with Hatem Ben Arfa, I can get Emmanuel Adebayor playing again'

 

What a comment to make.  If we end up with Townsend...

That quote is genuinely as bad as when Josef Fritzl claimed he was a "really good dad" in court.

http://i.imgur.com/TVg1I19.gif

So lazy he moves in slow motion.

https://gfycat.com/InformalDeadlyFugu

Done it full speed.

If you ignore Newcastle at home, in the last 16 premier league game we have scored 4 goals from open play

 

2 of those were scored by Bolasie, one of them a tap in by Cabaye from a Bolasie cross

http://i.imgur.com/uryqWrS.png

Official OPTA numbers say of the 50 goals Parcello Lipless has personally scored for Palace, 25 of them were either set plays or penalties. That's awfully high for someone who's football brings all the boys to the yard.

Included in that list are 7 goals from set plays and 4 penalties which makes up 11 of their 23

Been pervin' on their forums and turns out their strikers have a combined 1 goal between them in the league, which was a penalty. 3 of Cabaye's 5 were penalties too.

http://i.imgur.com/LEM9e6B.png

BT Sport Extra 2

http://i.imgur.com/eRi2fzs.jpg

"He was dribbling with excitement"

He was the horrible epitome of the modern young footballer who thinks they've 100% made it as soon as they get their first big pay cheque.

http://i.imgur.com/PfgidtH.png

Hate that the likes of Jenas, Dyer and Bramble made so much money. They should all be on the physical and financial scrapheap where they belong.

Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew has made the bizarre claim that Reading striker Pavel Pogrebnyak is one of the Barclays Premier League’s worst divers.

 

The Russian has not been booked for simulation as many times as Gareth Bale of Spurs, and his reputation is not as bad as that of Liverpool’s Luis Suarez.

 

But Pardew singled out Pogrebnyak for special attention ahead of their relegation clash at St James’s Park on Saturday.

 

Pardew said: ‘When we come to Reading, this is a battling side we’re playing. They’re great at set plays — but the striker Pogrebnyak, he falls over.

 

‘He’s one of the worst players I’ve seen for falling over and buying free-kicks, so we have got to be clever.’

‘He gets emotional but I’ve never really had a problem with Neil. I think once at Sheffield United we might have had a bit of an issue, but it didn’t take me long to give him the death stare and he backed off. He knows my death stare is better than his.’

#deffstare

While looking for that, I found this

Significantly, Pardew’s team have failed to score in 14 of their last 21 league games, meaning that, in 2014, they have drawn more blanks than any side in the top four divisions. Even Tuesday’s 1-0 League Cup win at Gillingham came courtesy of John Egan’s own goal.

 

“I think Palace will be difficult for us,” Pardew said. “It’s very difficult when teams pack their defences and don’t give us any space.

 

“I think when we score it will be from a penalty or a set play or maybe a shot from the edge of the area or a ricochet. Hopefully.”

Imagine any of us managing him man. It would be the exact opposite of what happened when he was here. 'Yeah, nice goal Georgio, but why didn't you pass to Hatem?'

....."Good game, Hatem"

http://i.imgur.com/syydDL8.gif

When he's at my gate with his big fat 8 fits both nob size discussion and Sammy Lee.

Also

https://youtu.be/HB5sFfL3Geo?t=67

http://i.imgur.com/5RFJbQ5.gif

Drink it in, lads/Jill. Or create a PowerPoint presentation about why it went so wrong and how Hatem could have done better.

http://i.imgur.com/Y12hrsn.gif

Balls to that. You and Slim were the ones abseiling off SJP roof and literally rubbing it in Pardew's face. Nobody would have seen it if it wasn't for you two.

Horrible news. My Mam will be devastated. Her favourite player.

 

Same here, oddly enough. She's never watched a game in her life but always asks "What's Pav up to these days?" every few months due to how nice he was at the training ground on a few occasions in 1994.

 

Always remember I was up in Glasgow to see Supergrass and couldn't make Arsenal away so give my Mam my ticket to go with my dad and brother. She had a season ticket but her interest was waning after KK's departure and Pav losing his place in goal.

 

As it was pre mobile technology info was thin on the ground especially with being in Scotland the same day. Fortunately I caught some team news in a newsagents on their radio and heard there had been an injury in the warm up and Pav was playing. He went on to have a blinder as we hung on for a 0-1 win.

 

Never forget ringing my Mam the next day from Sheffield Leadmill before heading home (I'd travelled straight down to see The Verve the next day from Glasgow to find out the gig was cancelled due to Ashcroft being ill (I think)). What was I saying about mobile technology! Never heard her so happy in my life as I listened to her match report.

 

R.I.P Pavel - Forever a Geordie

Just started reading his book in the last hour and he was also Freddy Shepherd's mothers favourite player. "Son, this is the best player at the club. You'd better give him a good contract"

The book is good so far. He's already spoke disparagingly about lots of people I hate in the first chapter (Allardyce, Carr, Bramble, Owen, Ian W, Emre etc).

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pavel-Geordie-Srnicek-ebook/dp/B018832VNO

 

 

Nobody thought everything was Pardew's fault

 

Time isn't showing that he did a better job than we thought of at the time, but it is allowing people to rewrite history. He had a strong squad here and it wasn't until we sold Cabaye that that really changed. McClaren, although I didn't want him and I still don't, has never had that luxury.

 

Obviously it could have been better, ignoring the fact he was complicit from the start you could complain that we were short in reserve, our bench has never been stellar and we've always had 1 or 2 misfits in the starting XI, but nothing close to what we have now.

 

When your second best attacking threat is your right back that tells its own story imo. Our midfield is the most unsuitable pairing I've ever seen for us, our strikers are substandard and we have a defence that's been terrible and hardly been changed.

None of this was common thought on this board 12-16 months ago.Even 6 months ago. A lot of people thought we would finish top 10 in the league with this very squad in January. A lot of people thought this was a top 10 squad at the beginning of last season without Wij and co. You can look in the threads. I thought Wijnaldum was here to play CM.

 

Any examples? Because I don't recall seeing that as a commonly shared view on here at all.

I'm not defending McClaren - i've never rated him.

 

Right now we are below par (which is midtable). If we are to avoid a very tough season Colo & Cisse need to go at the very least.

 

But it's difficult when the alternatives are Fistpumps and an untested kid in the PL.

Horrible news. My Mam will be devastated. Her favourite player.

Same here, oddly enough. She's never watched a game in her life but always asks "What's Pav up to these days?" every few months due to how nice he was at the training ground on a few occasions in 1994.

He went right up next to Lee Clark as my favourite player when I met him at the training ground. Met loads of players in those days but he made the biggest impact.

If any foreigner ever did it the right way at this club it was him.

See?

Love seeing a Froggy thumbsucking meltdown Even the smallest of jokes result in an odious "comeback". Typical insecure glory supporter behaviour.

my younger boy said afterwards, "if I ever get to meet Ayoze, I think I would just hug him."

 

To which I said, " if I ever get to meet Interpolic, I would do the same."

+1. Just breathing him in for the duration.