Uncyclopedia

[LooneyToonArmy]

some quite amusing

 

I posted a one a while back but here's some others....you might find some better examples....a few snippets....

 

Sunderland

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Sunderland_AFC

 

The Sunderland Association Football Club (SAFC), also known as the North-East Red Stripes, is a sports club based in North-East England (commonly known as Scumderland [pronounced Scum-der-land]), given its name by the infamous Peter Reid, a.k.a. Monkeyheed [pronounced mun-kee-heeeed], in April 13th 1906 after the annual riot of Seaburn where 400 Mackem's faced off against 10 Geordies and managed to survive an impressive 3 minutes against the Geordie hoard [beating the previous record of 12 seconds, set in 1830]. The town changed its name from God's Toilet, (named by God, who is based in London) as the name became no longer relevant due to the fact that God (or any other deity for that matter) stopped visiting Sunderland because the plagues that was being carried by that cesspit of a city would have been fatal even to a God.

 

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Joey Barton

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Joey_Barton

 

Josephine Lucifer Adolf Barton (from Hell) is Satan's 7th son, literary critic and successor to Gordon Ramsay as the Daily Mail's 'Biggest w***** who is probably solely responsible for Global warming'. Once evolved he has a HP of 240 - twice that of an average Charizard.

 

Barton was born eight months prematurely after eating his way out of his mother's placenta. Raised by wolves in Afghanistani caves, during his childhood he developed an interest in just generally being an obnoxious t***. However after years of picking on people not his own size, he was left feeling unfulfilled; mainly due to his poor financial status. He has been f***ed over by the FA many a time, in one case for setting the ball aside as he looked as though he were about to take on a midfielder but, ran at a moderate pace and planted his studs into the crotch of Dickson Etuhu

 

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Cristiano Ronaldo

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cristiano_Ronaldo

 

Cristina Gaynaldo(pron: "Faggot") born on the 5th February 1755) is a professional diver and actor, who used to plunge to the ground for Manchester United but has now taken his acting talents to Real Madrid. Born Joseph Christine Sharfuddin gaynaldo, his nicknames include 'w*****' due to his compulsive winking . This was caused by a stroke he suffered after having his testicles detached by a vicious Victoria Beckham tackle in a charity football match against the Spice Girls. The Oxford English dictionary now also accept "Cristiano Ronaldo" as a valid definition for an arrogant prick or greasy haired immigrant who is born with the special diving abilities.

 

 

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Wayne Rooney

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wayne_Rooney

 

Wayne Shrek "Fat, ginger, money grabbing b******" Rooney is an English footballer who currently plays for the football club Manchester Red Sox Ltd.. He was born in Poverty, a picturesque slum near Scouserland and is the first child of Dwayne and Waynetta Rooney. While growing up Wayne had ambitions to become a footballer like his hero Vinnie 'the Nuts Grabber' Jones. Wayne is probably best known for his two-year old tantrums, his portly figure and his girlfriend Coleen who happens to look like a donkey.

 

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John Terry

 

John "Lionheart" Terry is captain of Chel$ki, a thug, a lying cheat, Jose's ex-bum boy and an all around professional c***.

 

[Chase]

Sunderland

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Sunderland_AFC

 

The Sunderland Association Football Club (SAFC), also known as the North-East Red Stripes, is a sports club based in North-East England (commonly known as Scumderland [pronounced Scum-der-land]), given its name by the infamous Peter Reid, a.k.a. Monkeyheed [pronounced mun-kee-heeeed], in April 13th 1906 after the annual riot of Seaburn where 400 Mackem's faced off against 10 Geordies and managed to survive an impressive 3 minutes against the Geordie hoard [beating the previous record of 12 seconds, set in 1830]. The town changed its name from God's Toilet, (named by God, who is based in London) as the name became no longer relevant due to the fact that God (or any other deity for that matter) stopped visiting Sunderland because the plagues that was being carried by that cesspit of a city would have been fatal even to a God.

 

That one alone is pure genius