St James' is the best away trip in the league - The Observer (supplement)

[Guest unrealterrorist]

just for a bit of alternative discussion, we get 9/10 and are considered to be the best away trip.  Here's what their little piece had to say...

 

What's it like?

Full of half-nude Geordies with moobs.  Brilliant cathedral-like ground looming over the city, all stands enclosed with distinct, slightly uneven stands.  Features the largest cantilevered structure in Europe for the beardies to admire, and its still full of character.

 

And the away end?

The sky.  It's up 14 flights of stairs at the top of the St John Hall Stand.  Room for 3,000.  Great views of the city, but you're a long way from the pitch - shirt numbers can be a blur.  Good acoustics, though, and the legroom  and steepness of the tier are perfect.

 

To Eat...Football's famous chicken balti pie?

Yes, plus the usuals in all branded Toon packaging, served in big concourses full of plasma screens.  Decent facilities.

 

Where to drink?

There's beer in the ground, but there's no reason to drink there when the billions of pubs and bars in town are a short walk away.  Most away fans tend to congregate near the station.

 

Make a weekend of it - the best local attractions

Saturday night in the Bigg Market.  Marvel as semi-naked youths pub-crawl in deep midwinter.  Or for a more sedate trip, stay in Whitley Bay.

 

Best home fans chant

"Me brother's in Borstal, me sister's got pox, me mother's a hooker down Hartlepool docks, me aunty got murdered, me uncle went mad, and Jack the Ripper's me dad. Lalalalalalalalalalala TOON!"  Must say I've never heard that one

 

In local pub row, don't insult...

Shearer's not boring on TV, Peter Beardsley isn't ugly and Gazza's not mad.

 

Overall trip rating

9.  Doesn't get much better than this.  Massive ground, city-centre location, huge range of pubs and usually ultra-friendly, in a non-cheesy way.  It's a must-visit.

 

 

The list in full...

 

Newcastle - 9

Everton & Villa - 8

Villa, Portsmouth, mackems, West Ham, Spurs, Birmingham - 7

Man Utd & Arsenal - 6

Bolton, Chelsea, Liverpool, Reading - 5

Blackburn & Man City - 4

Wigan & Derby - 3

smogs - 1

 

Tis true i have moobs that proves it