Memphis

That was so easy

Cngrt!

From Serbian journalist Aca Stojanović on Twitter:

Aleksandar Mitrović has passed the medical with flying colors and signed an contract with NUFC ten minutes ago. Cngrt

There's £150 deducted from that first pay packet.

It is endearing to see him checking into the hotel with our top on. Kind of strange. But endearing.

Don't know what he's saying but this guy is never 20. I'd have said 40 before I said 20.

From a Belgian friend who doesn't support Anderlecht.

"Mbemba is a right footed central defender who is extremely quick and strong AND can give a pass both short and long.

He has been injured this season for some time otherwise he would have gone to a top tier club for sure."

Extremely quick and strong

Gives a pass both short and long

Gave his bones a good scan

He's a twenty-something year old man

One of the most gorgeous own goals you'd want to see.

Otherwise, yikes, mostly. I don't know how to even compare them, but I'd say Sacramento Republic FC is roughly on the level of a League Two side or worse, and we made them look good.

Aarons was a bright spot. Janmaat, too, per usual. Windleman (thanks, Sacramento guy!) had some nice touches.

I don't know how we would fit them into the team but a Mitrovic/Perez front two sounds 

Considering how well Perez played last season in a support striker role, running the channels well, chasing everything, I think the idea of a Mitrovic/Perez partnership would be a terrific one. Kind of a 4-4-1-1 thing.

Williamson continues to be a liability. Colback and Anita as a midfield 2 are not good. Wijnaldum will massively improve that position, thankfully.

Hopefully this alleged friendly helped to make McClaren's case about the need for more quality. We're still not a very good side at all.

THE SCARVES ARRIVED!

Some guy's wearing number 100 for Club Atlas? Is he a contest winner?

With this one transfer, we at least showed:

1. Ashley will pay a large sum for a player.

2. Charnley, in spite of a shocking signature, can finalise a deal.

3. A player of high renown actually still wants to come here.

4. There is at least a tiny atom of ambition in the cold heart of the fat man.

By no means does this make up for the last few windows and the staggering ineptitude of the last 8 months, but it's nice to have something to enjoy about supporting Newcastle. Airport photos, YouTube scouting, it's been a while since we had a legitimately good transfer for an established talent.

He comes across as a true professional and a composed, classy guy off the pitch. Celebrating his title at PSV with his two kids, the way PSV as a club and their fans have wished him well so enthusiastically, his attitude in interviews and appearances with us, even something as small as immediately changing his Twitter profile to reflect that he is a Newcastle player (when so many others take forever to do it).

It's made a terrific first impression and he looks the part of a leader. We need characters like that in the changing room, clearly we have had far too few for a while now.

They call him Mitrogol in Serbia, it seems. Good enough for me.

The problem for us is - even on the off chance that we stumble blindly into a successful transfer, it's just one. We need six or seven, at least, and yet we are nowhere near competent enough to have multiple negotiations simultaneously.

It's all setting up for us to drag our heels and do whatever business we end up doing very late in the window, sacrificing winnable matches in the process.  Then, by the time players get adjusted, we'll sell Sissoko or someone else in January (if they haven't been sold by September 1).

Long story short, even when we do something right, we do it in the completely wrong way.

Fairly extraordinary set piece from Real Salt Lake...

https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CIjhNKgW8AAmwJO.mp4

Despite the talk about buying British anyone, I can see us going continental not buying again, if these quoted prices are accurate. £15m for Austin, £20m for Berahino? Surely for that money we can get better players from overseas hang on to it and fatten that award-winning balance sheet.

Getting that business done nice and early.

Would probably be as excited about him leaving than just about anything that could happen this summer. Addition by subtraction.

The only problem is that it means more Steven Taylor, but at this point I'd be fine with that. I mean, we could obviously actually spend money and buy a better replacement but you know...

This kind of logical decision that will actually cost the club a tiny bit of money gives me an equally tiny shred of hope that we're going to start doing logical things to try to win again. Like signing decent players and hiring competent people to coach them.

I'm obviously wrong, of course. It's the hope that gets you in the end.

Please tell me Jonas was the one who called Carver to tell him.

Obviously having 10 coaches who rate 1/10 is the same as having 1 coach who's a 10/10.

How in the world does it do anything for this club to play reserve sides and lower-league teams in relatively unfancied cities? This will be ignored by all in the US media except a few local TV/radio stations in each city. If this is designed to raise our profile, it will be a complete waste of all kinds of time and money.

We played Orlando 4 years ago when they weren't yet an MLS team, too. I went to Kansas City that year, watched training, went to the match. It was in a very nice stadium in a large city against an actual MLS side who was decent. The trip itself was ridiculous but at least the standard of opponent was OK. The media coverage was pretty extensive. What we're doing now is, as per our norms, completely idiotic.

All these things are true:

1. Steve McClaren is a decent coach.

2. Steve McClaren is an uninspiring choice.

3. Newcastle United should be targeting higher-quality candidates than Steve McClaren.

4. Any coach who would accept the terms being offered by the club at this point is by definition an underwhelming choice.