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Article in The Guardian


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and for once it wasn't penned by that stupid mackem bint;








If schadenfreude is the malicious enjoyment of another's misfortune, then schadenfred is surely the malicious enjoyment of the many misfortunes currently being visited upon Newcastle's slimy chairman Fat Freddy Shepherd. Since the Jabba The Hutt-alike became chairman of the Magpies 10 years ago, he's consorted with fake sheikhs in Spanish knocking shops, admitted to ripping off his own fans, insulted the canine population of Newcastle by likening them to Geordie women, and plunged his club into debt while steering it from second to 19th place in the Premiership. It hasn't all been bad, though - while leading his club's plummet into the red on two fronts, Freddy's somehow managed to line his own pockets to the tune of £8.3m. Trebles all round!


Today the under-fire chairman was in defiant mood as he pitched up at St James's Park promising to sort out the latest fine mess he's got Newcastle into. "Right now it would seem I am the only one prepared to do this job and it's one I will continue to do to the very best of my ability and with the best interest of the club at heart," he way-ayed, before heading to the training ground to give his players a piece of his mind he could ill afford. "I think it's time the players are reminded just who they are playing for," he continued, hoping that the sight of an obese, angry, slug-like life-form would be enough to shake Titus Bramble, James Milner and others out of their current torpor.


Just two years ago, Fat Freddy told the Dubai Soccerex international football forum "there is no sympathy here" for teams attempting to survive outside the Premiership. It's small wonder, then, that there is no sympathy anywhere else for Newcastle's current plight. If they get relegated, the sound of raucous laughter nationwide will drown out the sound of them crashing into the Championship. But chances are, both Freddy and his football club will survive by sacking Glenn Roeder, appointing another "saviour" to much fanfare from the notoriously fickle and gullible Geordie fans, and then repeating the monotonous process once again this time next year. And the year after...




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