Are YOU the one true fan?

[Mowen]

http://www.football365.com/story/0,17033,8751_2157929,00.html

 

You're not some Johnny-come-lately, glory-hunting bandwagon jumper, are you? You're a real fan. Possibly the ONLY real fan. Possibly even The One True Football Fan...Or are you? Cast an eye over our handy checklist and find out...

 

 

 

1. Do you tell everyone you've been to every match, home and away, man and boy, good times and bad, since a time that was, strictly speaking, ever so slightly before you were born?

 

 

2. Are you still somehow always the one nearest the camera in the pub, over-reacting more than anyone else when the BBC is there doing live 'mood pieces' for the big game?

 

 

3. Do you snarl abuse at small children playing football in the street if they're clad in a replica shirt of one of the Big Four, and not the local team they're legally obliged to support?

 

 

4. Do you wear a replica shirt from a time (1987 Anglo-Italian Cup) that's more significant than everyone else's replica shirts?

 

 

5. Do you also make a point of having a name on the back that some people don't even recognise (largely because the bloke only turned up for one training session before his cruciate ligament exploded in a farming accident)?

 

 

6. Did you get through the funeral of your closest relative without so much as a change of expression, but burst into tears and wept like a lost child, snot streaming down your face, when you lost on penalties in the last 32 of the Rumbelows Cup?

 

 

7. Are you always the first to your feet when it's time to stand up to show you hate whoever...even before you know who you're claiming to hate.

 

 

8. And do you turn and glare at everyone around you who doesn't follow suit?

 

 

9. Would a group of fun-loving Norwegians who've flown hundreds of miles to watch your League Two opponents provoke you to foul-mouthed fury by having the nerve to celebrate when their team scores?

 

 

10. Do you like to stand up on your own, arms spread wide to 'offer out' the opposition ultras, secure in the knowledge that there's a pitch, several hundred stewards and rather a lot of policemen between them and you?

 

 

11. Is it physically impossible for you to clap with your hands below head height?

 

 

12.. If you hear someone celebrate a goal against your lot and they're in the top tier at your end, do you spend the rest of the match standing with your back to the action, staring belligerently up in their direction instead of watching the match?

 

 

13.. Do you abuse anyone who leaves the ground before the final whistle, waiting until the very end of the match to exchange teary-eyed solemn applause, salutes and badge-kissing with your team, then elbow your way savagely past women, children and the elderly in order to get out of the stadium first?

 

 

14.. You know, like, other fans of your club? You know how much they like your team? Do they still not really f***ing love them, like you do?

 

[Mowen]

This wasn't posted with anyone in particular in mind...........

[NG32]

This is only for SEWPA FANS.

[OzzieMandias]

Should read: "Are you one SAD bastard?"

[abcdefg]

Cheers 

 

THE RESULTS

 

1-4

You ain't no football fan. You're a bandwagon-jumping art school ponce.

 

5-8

Shyeah, right. Course you love your club. Course you do.

 

9-12

Yeah, not bad. Not bad. A few more years and you'll be a real fan, mate.

 

13-14

Seriously, though. There's something very wrong with you, isn't there?

[Dogmatix]

Christ    !!!       

I can say yes to a few of them.

My kids are right,I am a sad bast*rd

[Guest gggg]

clearly written by a bandwagon-jumping art school ponce.