Vinny Green Balls

Him being forced out doesn't quite  add up to me.  On the other hand, I think Pardew's story is absolute bullshit as well.  As I said before, everyone comes out looking like an asshole.

In summary,

MA ---> Go fuck yourself

DL ---> Go fuck yourself

AP ---> Go fuck yourself

AC ---> Geordie hero, go fuck yourself

Duffel Bag full of cash ----> best of luck to you up front

How reassuring.  I can breathe easy now.  Would be inconsistent with their nature to mislead us on this one.

trust me, we can argue for hours about this in some mental masturbatory sword fight, and ejaculate pedantry all over the forum.  Reminds me of that scene in O Brother Where Art Thou when they were arguing about how they were taking a kick in the backside over the election.

Syndromes aside, we are continually getting punked by this colossal douchebag, and even the small percentage should be seeing their arguments rapidly corrode.

I would just throw out a pair of Adidas in Ameobi's position, and allow plate tectonics to eventually make them complete their run.  On a geologic scale, Ameobi is putting in a shift.  But the Adidas would as well.

Are you mad?  Some here do have appreciative feelings.  "Remember the state of the club before he came in on his overburdened white horse..."

Fuck them all.

DL: Liverpool offered 30 million for you.  If it goes up, we are going to sell you.

AC:  But this is my hometown club.  I'm wearing the number 9, something I've dreamed about.

DL:Andy, we are going to sell you whether you like it or not.

AC:  But this is my club.  I came up through the youth system.  I can't leave.

Weekend comes to a close.

DL: Andy, we suggest you leave.  You have no future here.  We can get maybe another 5-10 million out of them.  Your England chances are going to improve.  Think of your future.

AC: I can't leave my hometown club.  And for Liverpool.  Who are they?  A shite has been club on the w..

DL: They will treble your wages.

AC: I would formally like to request a transfer.

Fucking Stockholm Syndrome we have here.

He could literally set a yard on fire and rape the family dog with a small plow, and a small percentage would still prefer to not jump to any conclusions...just yet.  Bloody Neville Chamberlains among us.

agrred but that happy medium will not be found with Ashley at the reins.  It's Shephard from bizarro world. 

or continuing our homeless policy of sifting through the garbage for players.  It won't work forever.

Ameobi-isms

1) I think Shearer leaving is just the push Ameobi needs.

2) I think the goals against the Mackems is just the push Ameobi needs.

3) I think relegation is just the push Ameobi needs.

4) I think Carroll's development is just the push Ameobi needs.

5) I think Charlie Sheen being hospitalized is just the push Ameobi needs.

True, but I never pass up the chance to be a pedantic prick.

The Ashley and Pardew Transfer Plan

1) Steal underpants

2) ?

3) Profit

It's Ashley's version of filling out the unemployment form.  Make bids that can't possibly be accepted.  I might be a bit sensitive, but these bids seem to be tinged with a level of maliciousness about them.  A cruel pisstake.

Everyone won...except the actual club.  I am sure that Carroll is ecstatic with his new wages.  I am sure that Ashley is ecstatic that he squeezed 35 million out of a prospect who has had one good half season in the top flight.  In truth, that prospect would probably have been better off if he stayed.  

35 million price tag and the Scousers wont be very forgiving if he starts off slow.  He left a fanbase that was beginning to adore him to one that may just hang him out to dry if he doesn't set Anfield alight.  This is how promising careers can be smashed into dust.  Francis Jeffers comes to mind (although I never rated him much whenever I saw him play for Everton).

And if it happens to Carroll, fuck him.  Worrying about his development is no longer my problem.

Well done Blackpool, for having the guts to hold on to their main asset

 

They accepted our bid. It's pure luck he's still a Blackpool player (for us and them tbh).

 

Pure luck? The window was always shutting at 11pm

 

Really? you don't say?

 

 

Pure luck in a sense that we agreed a fee, agreed everything and it fell through last minute due to a missing signature. It's down to our incompetence not Blackpool's resilience.

Then it has absolutely nothing to do with pure luck if it is down to incompetence. 

Winners?  Fucking absurd!  I don't care if we have 35 million in the bank.  We have the worst strike force I've seen in the 16 years I've supported this club.  Worse than the JDT days in my opinion.  We are close, but not completely out of relegation trouble, and we are going to rely on Best, Shola, McLovenshite and that Omar from 'The Wire' to get us those last 10-13 points?  Fucking hammering a house frame together without nails is what we are doing. 

I think that we should accept that everyone comes out looking like an asshole on this one.  It's just with Ashley that it's something we have come to expect. 

I have to give credit to the Ashley regime.  Each time they still manage to surprise us a bit with their malevolent incompetence.  I was almost to the point of accepting with resignation the Pardew appointment.   

The Egyptians know that any change underneath Mubarak doesn't matter.  We understand the same here.  Pardew leaves, but Ashley is still present.  This is the best we will get with this asshole. 

theres just no hope for the future, is there? something moderately exciting will happen, but then tiote will go. then something good will happen, just before enrique leaves.

 

hate to be a doom-monger, but theres no light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes there is.  Ashley is a really fat fuck.  His life expectancy will likely be cut short due to his girth.  Or in his dealings he may have pissed off the mob.  Or he contracts the bubonic plague while manholing a group of rats.  There's always hope.

no, the infantry isn't bad.  However, who are those passes going to?  Certainly not Shola's head.

Fuck Pardew, but I have a feeling that this caught him off guard.  He's probably speechless right now, wondering what the fuck he got himself into.

Unscathed?  We sold our one piece of armour, and are now stuck with just infantry. 

Bidding £12m for a winger with half an hour to go of the transfer deadline...who we sold for half that price originally...when we need a striker...and he's contracted to a club owned by our owners worst enemy. Only Ashley could be so stupid.

Ashley is not that stupid.  When I volunteered for a layoff in 2002 and was on unemployment, I would only apply to vice president positions that were well outside my range of experience, as I had no intention of going back to engineering.  Ashley's doing the same.