Gottlob

I agree but I suppose we were damned either way. Obviously we don't want to sell Isak and be left with nothing. But say we sign Sesko and Liverpool want to drive a hard bargain and sense that we need to make a sale, they could easily drag us out until the end of the summer, tying our hands in the transfer market, perhaps even holding off until next year and leaving us with an imbalanced squad and an unhappy player on our hands.

We're desperate for a midfielder, perhaps even more than we are for a new centre back though I think it's imperative we sign both. Gallagher seems like a nice fit all-round but he'd be expensive, and I'd personally take an old head like what Liverpool and Arsenal have done with Endo and Norgaard.

The easiest way to make sense of our summer is that we've been expecting movement on Isak so decided to front-load on strengthening our attack. It's difficult to see how big bids for Elanga, Pedro and Ekitike cohered with our needs in the centre of defence and midfield unless we have been expecting a big sale somewhere. I still expect Isak to leave but I don't think it's guaranteed, and ideally I'd offer him a big salary boost plus a release clause for next year and see where that takes us. Most of the top striking prospects have been taken so if you sell Isak you either have to really gamble or try to secure experienced players for a premium in a bid to remain competitive for the Champions League places. I don't buy into the notion that the 'cartel clubs' are collectively out to get us, but I think Liverpool will be happy to wait on the basis that they'll get Isak this year or the next while unsettling him and stymying us in the transfer market. We're in a difficult spot and I wonder whether the club has an action plan right now or is waiting to see how things pan out.

Don't you make around £70 million for a half-decent run in the Champions League? If you think Watkins and Wissa gives us a shot at Champions League football over the next couple of seasons then they're arguably paying for themselves. Of course a top young striker would be better value, but are there any of those left?

Seems most likely to me that the club knew he was on his way out and bid for Pedro and Ekitike to replace him. Liverpool probably think that they have a deal in place as soon as we budge or find a replacement. Perhaps we thought we had more time, but if we knew things were happening this summer I wonder what went on with Ekitike. Did we think we'd have a free run at him with Liverpool waiting for Isak? Did Liverpool buy him just in case, uncertain as to our intentions? Again with the way this summer has played out my best guess is that we have been looking to replace Isak and he or his camp feel somehow aggrieved with how we've handled things. Maybe they just feel like they have to strike while the iron is hot and get their money while it's available. The best case scenario now seems to be a big new contract with a release clause that settles everyone down and we try again for one more season.

Judging from the last few windows we ought to be crawling back to Dan Ashworth or even Lee Charnley, who surely performed miracles as a one-man band given the apparent need these days to fill about a dozen different positions before you're supposed to get anything done. We seem guilty of a narrowness and even of a certain arrogance when it comes to identifying our targets, slowness and a perverse kind of stinginess when making our bids, too credulous when it comes to the interest of players in signing for the club, and when it all goes wrong and we are inevitably gazumped by others or refuse to meet clearly stated asking prices, we are slow to pivot probably in part because our pool of targets is too small and because we barely seem able to do one thing at once. We need a quality centre back and some competent cover for the midfield beyond the striker problem. But I think the emphasis given to that problem all summer and the amounts we supposedly bid for Pedro and Ekitike indicate that we've known about Isak's issue all along, and were hoping to sign one of them to replace him rather than looking to switch to two up top. I also think it's fanciful to believe we'll spend more than £100 million on a couple of strikers if Isak does leave, which I don't think is guaranteed. But if he goes I think the most likely scenario is Wissa and then a cheaper backup.

More like the second coming of Benjani.

Share many people's hopes and concerns. His profile is ideal in some respects as a nimble striker who knows how to lead the line and would be dangerous off the bench, but while his age perhaps tempers his own expectations and makes him a suitable fill-in for Isak it also makes him expensive at the touted prices, and after being linked to Pedro and Ekitike he seems very much like a makeshift choice. I like him and rate him but I also have a hunch that he'd prove a total flop, so I'm going to be the first to dub him 'Wiffa' in anticipation of the expected result.

If we'd been smart we'd have flogged them Gordon then moved for Ekitike before they'd managed to free up more funds through the expected sales of Diaz and Nunez. Then with a gleam in our eyes and our double-pronged attack we could have turned to them and issued a hearty 'checkmate'. Yes we could have strung them along any old how, but whatever we've actually done has amounted to diddly squat.

Reminds me of that old joke about a man who can't get his wife to orgasm, and ends up watching on while another man satisfies his wife, as he stands there boasting about his prowess with a towel. A few days ago none of us thought that we'd sell Isak this summer, while we all know that we need a competent backup striker in case of injury and to ease Isak's load. Now there is one less target available and we may well have prompted the sale of a talented player to a rival club. If Liverpool sign Ekitike and don't like him they'll simply bid for Isak again next summer.

What's the difference though between a talent and a baller and rizz? Like maybe Eric Cantona had rizz but was he a baller? And if he did have rizz was it a product of some god-given natural talent or did it owe more to some of the films he watched and the books that he read?

Aside from sorting out our summer transfer business? What's the point in a little more headroom when you're busy sucking up all of the oxygen?

Think I've got it cracked. After the past season, Gordon isn't worth the £70 million that was being touted last summer, but maybe we could still do a deal with Liverpool even if their budget is being stretched. We sell them Gordon for £40 million plus Harvey Elliott, spend that £40 million on Jacob Ramsey before FFP day with Villa desperate to make a deal, then offload Longstaff and Willock for something in the region of £30 million combined. Even if we only had £100 million to spend at the start of the window, we are now up to £130 million with two decent additions. That's enough for Mbeumo, Guehi or whoever else we might be interested in at centre back, and of course for Adam Armstrong, who becomes a distant but hardworking and homegrown backup player for up front and the flanks. With another sale or two - Targett maybe - plus some squeezing of the figures, we could also afford a moderately priced goalkeeper. And I think we'd be stronger without having used too much imagination and without breaking the bank.

I agree with this. The year of the bird they're calling it, and now some are already calling it the year of the cock. Soon they'll be saying that this whole season was for the birds and our cup triumph, which we were supposed to cherish, will turn into a kind of albatross, something they'll never let us forget.

Given the state of Manchester City and Arsenal this season, Arne Slot should feel little pride and receive scant reward for winning Liverpool the Premier League title. He should be punished if anything, for not using this relatively tranquil period to better himself in other aspects of life. Just a couple of months ago Liverpool were being touted for an unprecedented quadruple, yet they'll walk away from this season with just one solitary medallion. That has to count for something, so I'd give the award to Howe or Nuno 'of the spirits'.

The question is whether the late flag somehow compels players to crash into the goalpost or makes such instances significantly more likely. I don't think the effect is significant, but the late flag does encourage more goalmouth action, because assistant referees are told to keep their flag down in the case of a goalscoring opportunity which might then be reviewed by VAR. An upturn in goalmouth action doesn't feel like a reason to scrap the late flag, instances of players crashing into the goalpost are not uncommon but severe injury seems exceedingly rare, and if you think otherwise you might make the same sort of case against the advantage rule, excess stoppage time, call for corner kicks to be replaced by throw-ins, etc.

Probably be the Saudi scabbards underneath an image of the tree that was felled from the Sycamore Gap.

In goal both Pope and Dubravka have provided room for doubt while someone who could play out from the back seems like an obvious evolution. On the other hand I think it's fanciful to reckon that a new right winger would replicate Murphy's numbers or prove transformative to our play. All of our wingers get good numbers in terms of goals and assists but are lacking in the buildup, and if we're going to solve some of our creativity or ball retention issues I think you could just as well look to the midfield where we sometimes lack guile and control, with Willock and Longstaff now unreliable as backups. Then again if we are talking about need rather than changes and improvements to our style of play, a backup striker is probably the biggest imperative because the fall off from Isak seems huge. Pope and Dubravka still look like Premier League players and we can rejig the squad elsewhere, but right now an injury to Isak would leave us without threat or a focal point. So I reckon at least four new signings, including a new goalkeeper and centre-back then at least a couple of players who can add cover and competition at centre midfield, right wing and striker.

Can't recall anybody wanting us to sign Adam Armstrong, but thinking about it even now it might not be that bad of a shout. Say we want Osula to go on loan and are willing to sell one of Gordon or Barnes to fund a superstar right winger or marauding part-cover for Isak. Well in that situation Armstrong might be ideal as third-choice cover for the left wing and striker positions, given that he'd be cheap, homegrown and surely willing to sit on the bench. After the likes of Almiron and Murphy, he's talented enough to be Howe's next reclamation project.

Need him to make it so we can finally update the club songbook.

An unmitigated shambles, and I know that people will rightly say that it's not the fault of Howe or the players. But for me in the big list of things it puts the Carabao Cup behind our First Division trophy in 1993, with Howe behind Keegan and Isak probably behind Andy Cole given the latter's fine run-in and his hat-trick against Leicester.

To soak in the atmosphere, to acquaint or reacquaint oneself with a city or town, then to lurk in an alleyway with nothing but a grim smile and a switchblade, assuming a matchgoer’s ticket and aspects of their identity after dragging them into said alleyway and slicing them from ear to ear.

Paulo Wanchope and Paul Dickov?