Altamullan

Reassuring to see how much Hayden featured in the highlights. Great tackles, passes and finishing. All round midfielder. Young Isaac is going to be a Success.

Yes, thank you Jo. Though now I'm jealous of long Portuguese weekends so I'm off to listen to some Fado and depress myself again

They'll need to confiscate his belt and laces, tonight. "Hey, Shane buddy you have what it takes to be 'so Portland'. We want yo we want you, we want you as a new recruit!" https://www.travelportland.com

Bottom-drawer not charity shop, JC. But definitely bottom-drawer, at the back anarl.

The CB we signed give away the pen. Four goals and a assist!! GTFI!!! Everybody: "RA-FA BENI-TEZ, RA..."

Almost called it!

Fucking Tony Gale! Every comment, even when asked about Newcastle switches to how unlucky Reading are (this time despite 'their good football, unlucky to have the stuffing knocked out of them by third goal") As I type: "Just a tap-in... Reading don't deserve to be on the end of this defeat."

Mental. Cannot bare John Anderson. Thank f*** for that, no-one needs to see that. Here's a Mick Lowes commentary on it: "Ando is sliding-in, oof it's a hefty one!!"

f*** me, a manager who knows how to win. Shoot the defensive spineless (wonderfully victorious) knobber.

Likes to perform oral on Pardle, doesn't he? Explains it all. I'd like to give them both some full frontal aural.

John Sarcastic Anderson: "Positive substitution."

"RAFA BENITEZ..." ringing out, fickle tarts. Capt back on.

Thank you God Tyne; usual sacrifice will be made in due course (got my eye on a surplus Ginger Ninja for you this time...)

Loving Hayden still.

Lone voice in the crowd rocking out "United...United..." Help him out you flag waving lot. A bit of singing could settle the nerves all around = support.

Gayle or Perez goal would be very welcome (prays to River God Tyne).

Radio coverage is now without the consistent crowd noise, and has that chattering rumbling which suggests nervousness. Occasion songs still ringing out (we are the Geordie boys at the mo)

Certainly doesn't sound like it. We look pretty damn awful. Well I'm only listening but until minute 45 the radio were basically describing us completely on top. That was my take on it too. BBC Sport showing Reading with more possession (55%) and equal chances (6), so maybe more even than it sounds. Never fear though, we are winning this one lads. 3-1.

If the plastic paddy is after a move to Portland, he'll have to get in line behind Shane Duffy...

Be-bop-aloo-la...

If it wasn't for bad luck... Have I mentioned I fucking hate the Southern cunt, on Sky, in the red and black tie?

Just switched to periscope in time to see Shelvey's half arsed attempt to win the ball again lead to a break and good goal scoring chance for them; cracking pass by him just before that as well mind. I'm similarly overwhelmed with Nufc media: periscope, radio Newcastle, here, and Sky! Who says men can't multitask!!

The Jeff Monkey-Hanger stand-in and the anti-Newcastle (anti Nor-fen) pleb in the red and black tie on Sky are doing my head in. Them in one ear and Mick Lowes delayed by ten secs in the other (Hang on, didn't mean that to sound like a Leicester City porn video) I 'll be lucky to get through this match with my sanity!