Keefaz

Ferguson, you nippy wee radgie.

Nice one, Fergus.

Aye, stop the game there. Why not. Let's just have a fucking nap.

Roy.

"Shall we boo a player for you?"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU FUCKING CUNTS.

Should've been the sub anyway: Cisse <> Shola.

Cisse, man.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Your pasta sauce is burning. Turned if off. It's done.

What a character. What a solid gold, 100% knob of a character.

That it. Get frustrated. Feel the anger rising. Your frustration will be your downfall: feel the dark side of the force.

Williamson's gone mental.

Could be a red I'd go as far to say that it could've been... a, er, black?

Nice work.

Should we really need to coach throw-ins, ffs?

Ben Arfa's fucking hilarious.

Poor Williamson. He looks like Captain Hook when he was put in charge of blowing up balloon at the office party.

Nice to just keep possession for a bit. Good work.

Gonna check on me pasta sauce. Seems we've been working on something I believe the pros call 'pass and move'.

Think they've noticed how fucking slow we are at the back? Even Simpson who looks like he should be nippy is like a hobbled turtle.

Gan on, Ben Arfa.

Missus: What's the score? Keefaz: 3-0 to us. Missus: They'll find a way to fuck it up. She hates football but she understands NUFC.

That fucking defending.

Read 'em and weep, Stifler.