chicago_shearer

Well that was just about the worse draw possible. 

Theory #467:

 

We've signed loads of s*** hot players, and pretending they haven't signed, plus we'll lie about Gutierrez's status and Owen's injury.

 

Manchester United will look at the tactics for playing the following team:

 

Given

Beye Taylor Cacapa Enrique

Milner Butt Guthrie Duff

Smith Martins

 

but at 3:30pm we'll announce the following:

 

Given

Beye Coloccini Faye Warnock

Gutierrez Xavi Tiago N'Zogbia

Owen Martins

We win 2-1, Man Utd decide that it isn't fair that we deceived them, the result is overturned by the FA and Man Utd are awarded a 0-3 victory.

9 million for a player that rarely beats players, can't pass very well, cant cross at all, hardly scores and has s*** movement and no pace who plays as a winger has to be deal of the century

fyp.

9 million    It must be seriously great being James Milner.  It doesn't matter what you do during a season because there is always a clean slate to look forward to in August.  Just keep on making those useless little runs to the byline and you keep winning admirers.

It won't be Smith and Shola.  If it is Smith and Shola against the European Champions, then it means the team aren't taking the game seriously and there won't be any point in watching.  I could find something better to do on Sunday morning than watch those two take the piss.

He'll be banned for at least half a season.  It shouldn't come as a surprise either.

Maybe this is all serbian jew double bluff in order to fool Alex Ferguson into thinking he won't be playing.  Well played Keegan.

They must really have their hearts set on announcing all the signings together if they are prepared to drop Colo from training in order to keep it unofficial.  Either that or there is a problem.  I don't see any other options at this point.

So you don't think we need more creativity in midfield then?

 

I think we need players who can mix it up. Passing/creativity is just one element, you need players with the speed and pace to carve holes into the opposition, you need players who can stick their foot in, you need two central midfielders who can attack and defend in tandem, and you need players who can dictate the tempo of the game.

 

Although we may need to upgrade Milner/Duff/N'Zogbia, our midfield has very good balance for the 442 system we intend to use, and the creative midfielder people are wanting would be as useful as a chocolate teapot.

 

We don't have that.  So how can our midfield have "good balance"?

 

Barton and Guthrie will be perfect.

This is a thread about ambition, and you are happy depending on a player that struggled for form even before his two criminal convictions until halfway through the season (even then then wasn't spectacular) paired with a somewhat promising but by no means exceptional youngster who had a solid, unaccomplished season on loan at Bolton? 

Barton will likely be suspended for anywhere from 6 weeks to half a season depending on how much the F.A. hate us.  So what we'll probably see is Butt & Guthrie.  And quite honestly, there would be Fulham and Bolton supporters who wouldn't be happy with that as their first choice.

So you don't think we need more creativity in midfield then?

 

I think we need players who can mix it up. Passing/creativity is just one element, you need players with the speed and pace to carve holes into the opposition, you need players who can stick their foot in, you need two central midfielders who can attack and defend in tandem, and you need players who can dictate the tempo of the game.

 

Although we may need to upgrade Milner/Duff/N'Zogbia, our midfield has very good balance for the 442 system we intend to use, and the creative midfielder people are wanting would be as useful as a chocolate teapot.

We don't have that.  So how can our midfield have "good balance"?

Forget £6M.  I'd sell him for half that if I had any confidence that we'd sign a replacement.  But in mid-August, with the season starting on Sunday, selling him at any price would just mean 1 less player and we can't afford that at this point.

That is the position we are in, and it is probably the position that all of the clubs we are attempting buy players from are in as well.  You leave things this late, and you either pay over the odds or get shot down. 

This is Mike Ashley writing, i will sign Xavi and Henry within days.

Mike Ashley does look a bit like Peter Griffin tbh.

I think we can afford to let both Ameobi & Smith go, provided we get a fourth striker in.  That would leave us with Owen, Martins, Viduka & the new player (hopefully Derdiyok).  Then we also have Milner, Duff, Carroll, Zamblera and Lua Lua if things get desperate.  Comfortable I think. 

It will be an absolute farce if we don't get Gutierrez registered.  I hope that is media BS.

I predict Coloccini will finally be confirmed tomorrow, but there will be no mystery signings other than maybe a few unknown trialists.  It's difficult not to get my hopes up, but the simple reality is that if there really were two others signing tomorrow there would be some sort of media report if not a confirmation from the selling club.  By all accounts Derdiyok is still training with FC Basel and there hasn't been a whisper (a credible one anyway) of a "big" name. 

Like Gutierrez and Guthrie?

Neither are really big names are they?  And Mallorca had their own reasons for not publicizing our interest since they still don't think the transfer is legitimate.  The three big names we've (probably) pursued - Modric, Aimar & Coloccini - have been very public.

I've had a look at the Basel forum, and they all seem think Derdiyok is playing in their CL qualifier on Wednesday.  Nothing in the Swiss media either.  No mouthy agents either.  I'll be very impressed if we managed to keep it this quiet.

I predict Coloccini will finally be confirmed tomorrow, but there will be no mystery signings other than maybe a few unknown trialists.  It's difficult not to get my hopes up, but the simple reality is that if there really were two others signing tomorrow there would be some sort of media report if not a confirmation from the selling club.  By all accounts Derdiyok is still training with FC Basel and there hasn't been a whisper (a credible one anyway) of a "big" name. 

Matias was in England a few days ago for the Villareal friendly against West Ham.  Did he fly back?

If we really are in for a big Tuesday or Wednesday unveiling of a few new players (Colo at the least) it will be interesting to see how Louise Taylor and the idiots at the Telegraph manage to put a negative spin on it.  I imagine they will ignore the new arrivals and concentrate on Smith's departure.

Yes, it's possible.  But no, it definitely isn't wise.  You don't need to tell the media the truth, but you need to tell them something positive.

I'm surprised by how terrible the club's PR operation is.  The coverage in the press is so poor, that they would benefit from some spin, brand management etc.  It isn't just supporters hoping or transfers that read the papers....if Ashley really is on the hunt for additional investment partners then the constant stream of bullshit in the papers will be doing him no favours.

If my mate knew the name of a major midfield signing he would tell me so I could post it on an internet forum.  I suggest you all find better friends.

You know, Keegan did mention that other deals had to go through before we could complete our signings.  Could it be Barry to Liverpool.....allowing Xabi Alonso to come here?  

Has it not occurred to anyone in the press that just because Keegan says he doesn't know to the press may not mean that he actually doesn't know? NUFC are clearly trying to be cautious about what gets leaked out at the club. I think it's more likely that Keegan is very aware of the situation but has been asked to stay quiet about it until it's done, and Ashley's Coloccini shirt was something he did on his own out of impulsiveness.

It is so painfully evident that they have nothing to go on.  No information whatsoever.  They obviously have editors demanding a story about Newcastle, so they resort to mining every platitude and passing comment from Keegan & Ashley's recent interviews.  Common sense plays no part....national papers depend on a constant crisis at Newcastle, and by god they are determined to find one.

Louise Taylor, Martin Samuel, Shaun Custis....it will make those fuckers absolutely sick if we do well this season.  Which is all the more reason to do so.

Seriously, what a f***ing cow. 

There must be at least a dozen journalists in the UK who could be out of a job if Newcastle have a successful season without a managerial sacking.  They feed off the soap opera.  Any semblance of stability at NUFC scares the hell out of them.  I can see the attacks getting worse as long as Keegan & Ashley stay quiet about the club's affairs.  These vultures need red meat.

Gazza & the dentist chair.

Shearer, the one arm salute.

Least favourites....anything involving dancing around the corner flag or doing the 'Shh' hand motion.

Cunts.  Hope we stuff them next Sunday.

I don't think he's technically brilliant but he does know how to keep a hold of the ball, which is important. As well as that he is very direct with his play, whether that be dribbling or passing. Rarely wasted time yesterday (straight onto the front foot), which is something we have been missing.

 

Another positive is his stature. He's a big lad with energy to burn.

I agree with that.  He strikes me as the sort of player who knows what he wants to do with the ball and thinks one step ahead.  Doesn't waste possession by running himself into impossible situations (like other midfielders in our team who shall remain nameless).  Owen needs a player like that to take advantage of the good positions and good runs he makes.  Once they get familiar, Owen & Jonas could be very dangerous.