SEMTEX

Fuckers love Whelan and N'Zonzi like. I'd say they should take a look at Leo Messi, but their minds may actually blow.

Demba Ba taking a shot = indication of Papiss Cisse's new-found confidence.

nee composure when clearing the ball ffs

he scores when he waaants....................

defurrrrrrrrrrndddddddddd

THATS THE FIRST TIME EVER THERES BEEN A BENEFIT TO BOTH OF THESE PLAYERS PLAYING AT ONCE

I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, if we come out with a point, Pardew is inevitably going to paint it as if it was a fantastic success after a run of bad games. It's going to be awful.

Glenn Whelan's moustache is delightful. In a rapey Irish sort of way. I know, rapey is redundant, but it need to be said.

It wasn't that bad a corner tbf. Looks like a more normal corner than our previous floaters.

amazing

sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

He's not exactly looking very slight atm

Must've been a while since Kenwyne Jones has scored a hattrick.

eh? he's coming off for that?

Good job he has that mop to clean it up with.

So, we're still shit. No sign that this is any change from any other games. How many times can we try the same thing and expect to see something different?

kits look too similar. ABANDON THE GAME

I think we can all agree the mf looks like a bag of shite, let's move on to... who would you have picked? I can't say I see any revolutionary changes that could be made, but I guess I'd be looking at Marveaux instead of Perch, whether moving to the fabled 4-3-3 or not. I'm sure if this was the actual team, we'd still be saying it was shite

Yup, fuck know's who'll play where though. Best guess is: Perch Tiote Anita Jonas But in reality Jonas and Anita could go anywhere, Perch and Tiote could be DMC or CM. I think most likely change from that above is Anita for Jonas. Either way, it's most certainly a diamonte.

IMO that's a 4-4-2 with a midfield diamonte.

That lineup is bad, but before I read the actual XI, I read the subs thinking it was the starting XI. Actual team doesn't look so bad now.

clokework surely?

Director of football. Left by mutual consent. So think before you open you..... So you fall for the word Mutual.. Aye. It gets me every fucking time.

Director of football. Left by mutual consent. So think before you open you.....