Memphis

Obviously having 10 coaches who rate 1/10 is the same as having 1 coach who's a 10/10.

How in the world does it do anything for this club to play reserve sides and lower-league teams in relatively unfancied cities? This will be ignored by all in the US media except a few local TV/radio stations in each city. If this is designed to raise our profile, it will be a complete waste of all kinds of time and money. We played Orlando 4 years ago when they weren't yet an MLS team, too. I went to Kansas City that year, watched training, went to the match. It was in a very nice stadium in a large city against an actual MLS side who was decent. The trip itself was ridiculous but at least the standard of opponent was OK. The media coverage was pretty extensive. What we're doing now is, as per our norms, completely idiotic.

All these things are true: 1. Steve McClaren is a decent coach. 2. Steve McClaren is an uninspiring choice. 3. Newcastle United should be targeting higher-quality candidates than Steve McClaren. 4. Any coach who would accept the terms being offered by the club at this point is by definition an underwhelming choice.

I'm really tired of being cynical. There's no reason not to be, of course, but it's still mentally tiring to have a thing you really enjoy be such drudgery to follow. That said, Vieira represents a different sort of cynicism from Ashley than we're used to, so that's something. A cynical appointment with the side effect of allowing us to have a guy in charge I enjoy hearing from and who hasn't already been proven to be utterly bland. We're still in prison but they changed the color of the paint.

Wonderful guy by all accounts. True character. Seemed to genuinely "get it". Very few like him. Regardless of his footballing ability, very sad that he's no longer part of the club.

Having a spine of any nationality would be a start.

Carver: "My press conferences are going to be very, very basic, bland, and...simple." They - and you - have always been simple, John.

To think anyone would be remotely satisfied with a home draw against an utterly mediocre side that have nothing to play for shows how far the standard has fallen. LICK

http://s4.postimg.org/e4tc7uv71/CEZ_de_FWMAErd_Mu.jpg

I feel like this is an IQ test for our supporters and I fear it's one many, probably most, will fail.

Out of the last 665 minutes of Premier League football we've played: We've been behind for 478 minutes. Even for 162 minutes. Ahead for 25 minutes. Carver is a fuckknuckle.

The stink of relegation is all over us. We are a bloody body floating in the ocean. It'll be a miracle if we make it to land without being eaten by a shark.

Chronicle's about face on this issue is staggering. Douglas in particular is so cowardly. Easy to put the boots in now when the inevitable end of this stultifying process is so clear to see. Two weeks ago Carver was still a safe pair of hands. I'd rather get circumcised by Rabbi Edward Scissorhands than see more of Carver's safe hands in action.

Commentator: "That was mind-numbing defence by Newcastle!" Never heard that one before.

It is truly remarkable that this club has managed to alienate supporters to the point where many aren't bothered about relegation, and a vocal minority actually would welcome it.

At this stage, the rationale for people still going seems to be one of the following: 1. I've always gone and I can't stop going (and/or I want to get away from my wife). 2. It's an enjoyable day out with my mates/dad/son/etc. 3. I've already paid. If you fall into category 1, you have an addiction. And like many addictions, things done to escape the reality of your life, it's not healthy. Especially in this case, when the club as we've known it is dead. This addiction is fueling a regime sucking the life out of a once-proud region and institution. If you fall into category 2, there are plenty of other ways to spend time with your loved ones. For everyone's sake, please explore them. The football on show at SJP is hardly worth watching and there have to be far better ways to spend your precious free time. If you fall into category 3, consider it a sunk cost. If you've bought a ticket to a movie that you absolutely hate, you're not required to stay until the end. The money's gone. Just don't buy another ticket when such time rolls around. It really does seem that the only way for the general public to start putting two and two together to realize the bigger picture of what Ashley's ownership is doing to this club is for fans to boycott. It makes the biggest public statement from a visual perspective. I would ask those that continue to go, and who consider themselves lifelong die-hard fans of Newcastle United Football Club, what is it you are doing by attending? The club tried its best, in spite of profits coming in, to cut every corner and scrape by with a shoddy team to finish this season. The club does not want to achieve all it can. They have made that clear in word and in deed. The team on the pitch, such as it is, clearly doesn't respond to the supporters who do show up. What good is your continued attendance this season? What does it achieve? Wouldn't you be better served, for the long-term health of the club - a social structure far beyond Mike Ashley or any other single person - to try to enable true change?

our points per game under Carver .54 - meaning to match our 2002 season points total under Sir Bobby of 71, we would have to play 132 games

Howard Wilkinson at sunderland: Played: 27 Won: 4 Drew: 8 Lost: 15 GF: 26 GA: 44 Points per Game: .74 Expected Points per 38 Matches: 28.1 John Carver at Newcastle: Played: 16 Won: 2 Drew: 3 Lost: 11 GF: 14 GA: 31 Points per Game: .56 Expected Points per 38 Matches: 21.4

Never really thought it was a possibility until today. Run in, to me, is very tough. Who among the group of tiny-hearted mini-men we have on the pitch is mentally strong enough to deal with the desperation of two away fixtures against relegation-threatened teams? Leicester's won four straight and clearly have 100x the heart and spirit we do. We lose in a week's time - especially as we play the lunchtime match- and it's an incentive for the other strugglers to give it that little bit more. Additionally, we're led by Captain Caveman so who in the world knows what depths we're capable of reaching? The WBA match is the one. If we do anything other than win, we're a distinct possibility to drop. Win it and we're safe.

Since beating Chelsea on 6th December, we've lost 14 of 20 matches in all competitions. In only 3 of those have we scored more than once. In 9 of them we've not scored at all. The aggregate score of our last 8 matches is Opponents 18-3 NUFC -- and that somehow includes a win.

Who on earth didn't see this coming? Who could have thought appointing Carver was anything other than a horrendous idea? This is completely predictable. There's no leader on the pitch - Colo/Sissoko/Colback/whoever are all atrocious captains with no spine. There's no leader off the pitch because Carver. So when we inevitably experienced turmoil, how were we going to handle it? Not that any of it matters with Ashley in charge.

I love how now dipshits like Douglas are saying "club is broken" as if a win today would have changed anything about the state of the club.

"He's bright. He's young. He's a local lad, he knows what it means." Commentator on Armstrong. Armstrong.

BEFORE: http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03000/Mauricio-Pochettin_3000205b.jpg AFTER: http://www.nufc.co.uk/javaImages/e5/22/0,,10278~13443813,00.jpg

If we went down we'd just offer Mick McCarthy 100 quid of SD.com vouchers and a pint of John Smiths. He'd sign that deal within seconds. http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Coach-Mick-Mcarthy-Look-at-Camera-Smile.gif