Mike

Haaland pulling a player back, no whistle. Eat shit.

What vat did they grow Akanji in ffs.

Joe too polite.

What the fuck whast that?

No foul theer yuo half bald cunt?

HOW IS THAT A YELLOW YOU PROUD BOY HAIRCUT CUNT

Wait for it..

Yorkie Out.

Joe wandering there.

Fucking hell this isn't even their first team.

Are we sure we want to be a good team? All the big matches are gonna be gut bubbly like this.

There's cracks on that side...

Excellent fucking cross.

We're so nervous.

Showing them too much respect.

Not Newcastle United in a match that feels like the first round of a Heavyweight fight.

If we're subbing Lascelles on I'm gonna go weed the garden.

Schar is so hyped he had his head injury as fast as possible.

I'm slightly preoccupied with all the red in the monitor on the bottom left. But I trust wor Paulo. Also I'm on the other side of the Earth. Best of luck, y'all.

As long as we don't get battered to fuck I'm golden.

Gonna be laughs when we beat city and the earth collapses because Paulo is refreshing tweets.

Howay get SDV-2828 reset before kickoff.

You a lefty @PauloGeordio ?

No no, I dunno what any of that is, but I feel like I desperately need you paying attention to it.