TheBrownBottle

I’ve got two smoggie mates - one older, one younger. Older one claims Leeds is their big game - a Yorkshire ‘derby’ (Leeds would argue that, I reckon). Younger alternates between us and the Mackems. My suggestion that Hartlepool is their Derby as no other fucker gives a solitary shite about them usually falls on deaf ears. I’m only trying to help.

The Second Prize Derby is an exciting one. For them.

He’s still thinking about the bad news

Fnarr fnarr

It’s the last time I went to Soton away that game. Coach didn’t get back to Newcastle until about 6am - went straight to work with a change of clothes and did a rudimentary set of ablutions in the work bogs, still no doubt lifting of stale lager and tabs. Happy days

Southampton leaving the Dell has been a godsend for us. We couldn’t buy a win at their old ground

Yep, I’d be astonished if at least one signing isn’t made - backfilling Wood’s empty slot for starters

Doesn’t mean that they’re going to spend it. The constant FFP references suggest to me that they intend to grow the club’s finances via sponsorships, not through throwing PIF’s own money in constantly. It’s not a Man City / PSG model - which suits me fine.

If everyone is expecting Diaby or Maddison to walk through the SJP gates before the end of Jan, I think they’re going to be disappointed. Someone like Gordon looks much more likely to me - the club are insisting on keeping costs down, and I don’t imagine there is the panic like there was last Jan. The club looks ahead of schedule - why overpay now on a gamble? I can’t see Maddison or Diaby going for less than 70m in Jan.

Agreed with everything except the use of the word ‘Wembo’

Every position we finish above 8th is a colossal achievement for me with this squad. There’s half a season to play and people are panicking re top four status - I’d recommend not worrying at all about that unless we’re top four with a handful of games to go. The squad is shallow and some of these lads have been coached to play well beyond their normal capabilities. As far as I’m concerned, we’re one point from safety with 18 games to play. Next target is 50, which pretty much guarantees a top half finish.

Surprised Isak is the one being singled out for poor finishing like

Can’t remember the precise figure, but it’s around 2-3% of PL corners result in a goal

I thought ASM was average again off the bench mind. Murphy did more in three mins than ASM did in thirty.

I’d have taken a point before hand. Defence is so solid. Stoppage time was frustrating mind - we’re going to have to learn how to play AGAINST shithousery - just like Leeds, some stupid decision-making allowed Palace to run down the clock. Hate playing Palace mind. Fucking non-entity of a club.

Cracking play by Murphy mind

What a fucking save that is

The most frustrating part is knowing that if we score one early enough, we’ll likely score a few as sides like Palace are forced to chase the game and open up

The 92-93 promotion season with KK had a similar patch around the same time of the season - we went four matches without scoring and only scored in ‘1s’ before that despite racking up loads previously. Keegan’s way to resolve the issue was signing Andy Cole. Fucking well worked, too

The only concern - and it’s a mild one - is that this side is a bit toothless. Joelinton isn’t a good finisher, Almiron’s finishing is reverting to the mean (very few players in the world could consistently keep up what he was doing in fairness), and Willock and Longstaff just don’t chip in enough. Wilson just looks well off the pace. We’re also becoming increasingly poor at corners. All of them work their bollocks off, we look great in possession (until the last bit), and the back line is an absolute rock, so even with those worries you’d always think we can snatch one. New blood would be nice to shake things up a bit though.

You know whenever a ref does an early booking he’ll shit his pants and book no fucker else for ages

Linesman repeatedly making shit calls at the Palace end - for both sides

Nee idea if he’ll sign or not, but if Howe thinks Gordon’s a good signing for us, that’ll do for me. Besides, Howe is all about balance - and we need some *ahem* normal looking gents in that team for balance. Wilson and Schar are, as Pete Baynham would tell us, too gorgeous (gratuitous ‘90s reference)

S Yorks police in peace