Monkey Alan

No room for sentimentality. I'm appalled by his loyalty. Should've made him balance on his right leg as part of a club sobriety test and then fined him two year's wedge when he when fell over.

£55m for Wood, Shelvey and Anderson. Perhaps we can sell them Sunderland airport before the window shuts.

He came from Greece via Nottingham Forest, Nothing dodgy, just replacing Martin, honest, That's why we, Paid the fee.

I'm still baffled as to how we're not circumventing all the rules willy nilly. We're owned by Saudi Arabia and the #1 Tory Party donor. They must know every trick in the book - funneling money through casinos, buying post-modern anti-art for hundreds of millions, secretly filming Richard Masters receiving footjobs from underage girls etc. How are we still bound by the rules for goodness' sake?

Ruddy Livramento Schar Kelly Burn Longstaff Bruno McTominay Elanga DCL Barnes Should batter Southampton first game and we'll still have Tonali to come in and Isak off the bench if we need to mix it up. We'll probably even have some of the Gordon money left to use in January too. Back in for Ekitike maybe?

I've no idea about Elanga but Anderson is a second too slow in everything he does. I wish him well but he won't make waves in the PL as long as his weetabix come out his bullet hole.

The PL would've had to deduct from my personal savings account to make me find common cause with Mike Ashley.

Sounds like a case for Steve Barnes to solve.

Just what Mrs Howe needs. He already arranges the fridge magnets into starting line up shapes and draws loads of arrows and crosses on the bathroom mirror when it steams up.

or... Bowen knows Eddie can take him up two notches and he's sick of hearing about Britain's hardest bastards three nights a week.

I hope this rumour never rears its bald again.

Visually more palatable? As I said a few posts ago, that's a matter of preference.

Problem is, no one wants Anderson. He's tier 2 quality. We could probably get a good price for Miley though. He's going to be PL quality if he isn't already.

He looks a bit erratic based on my Dennis Wise scouting.