ChrisMcQuillan

I just snapped my two season tickets. Thank you Ashley.

Harper Beye Colocinni Bassong Enrique Guthrie Barton Jonas Owen Martins Viduka

Harper Beye Saylor/Edgar Bassong Enrique Jonas Barton Guthrie Owen Martins Viduka Subs: Forster, Colocinni, Edgar/Saylor, Smith, Geremi, Carroll, Ranger

Viduka would choke on a Double Whopper meal and have bruised belly ligaments.

It'll be the Spurs fans rating him down cause they think he should have been sent off in the first three minutes.

Krul.

Did you want to see Torres and Messi leading our attack today?

It's certainly a more encouraging line up than last week, which prompted this:

Agreed.

Hull are dead certs? Hmmm. You have to look at their remaining fixtures. They really haven't picked up major points in months, and with those fixtures, I think they'll be down.

I reckon WBA and Hull are dead certs. So the question is if we or Boro will have enough fight to stay up.

It frightens me that you know that.

No kidding, Habib.

I'd replace Taylor with Edgar. Sorry, he had a great shift in the centre and his height was essential.

Someone said he'd be out until Portsmouth.

If Oba's fit, he should play. Carroll should be a definite starter. Real shame about Enrique. If we're playing 4 at the back I'd play Beye, S. Taylor, Edgar, Bassong on the strength of Edgar's last performance. That's if Colocinni hasn't shown enough in training to merit a return at C.B. If he wants to play 3, well, that could be interesting. Please say Barton's back, cause we're really going to need him to replace one of Butt or Nolan and partner Guthrie in the centre.

I'll put in a transfer bid for Ameobi of £2.50 in the next window for our shop 5-aside team. Quick way out of a contract.

Harper - 6 - Possibly should have saved the goal, but it wasn't really his fault, and he was otherwise solid. Beye - 7 - Made some great tackles. Edgar - 7 - Most solid performance I've seen him give against some physical opposition. He said he'd bulk up, and he seems no pushover anymore. Bassong - 7 - Defensively very good. R. Taylor - 6 - Put in a good shift. Ran until the end. Offers limited passing when going forward though. Duff - 6 - Average shift from the man, but did an okay job at wing back. Butt - 4 - One good tackle. That was it. Guthrie - 6 - Rather anonymous, but looked solid when on the ball. Hope to see more. Nolan - 5 - Not very good. A lot of poor passes and no creativity. Ameobi - 2 - Absolutely horrific. Owen - 6 - Ran a lot, looked interested and lively. Good to see. Carroll - 9 - What a hero. Wonderful goal, showed Ameobi how to really defend. Game really changed with his introduction. Fought for everything. Jonas - 7 - Limited time to see anything, but he looked his usual self - tough to defend against.

He's been poor, but he's not the reason we're losing. Actually, he technically is. No, he's not. In the EPL you should be able to defend corners. No-one to blame but ourselves. The corner shouldn't have happened. That goal therefore wouldn't have happened. Q.E.D. Admittedly, we'd probably be losing through another goal. But referreeing mistake led to corner, which led to goal.

He's been poor, but he's not the reason we're losing. Actually, he technically is.

This has been so poor. You could write the script. Incorrect decision leads to a goal, and then it threw in an Ameobi mistake for good measure.

Perhaps he thinks Shola will have insight having played with Stoke last season. Unfortunately, Shola normally can't remember where he is at any moment in time.

We're fucked.

Where the fuck is Oba?!

NUFC: Steve Harper, David Edgar, Ryan Taylor, Sebastien Bassong, Habib Beye, Nicky Butt, Kevin Nolan, Danny Guthrie, Damien Duff, Shola Ameobi, Michael Owen Subs: Fabricio Coloccini, Alan Smith, Jonas Gutierrez, Geremi, Andy Carroll, Tim Krul, Nile Ranger What the fuck?